


1865

by Aerstes



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, Baby Gay! Lena, CW: alcohol, Con Artist!Kara, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Hints of butch!Kara, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Pls know that i'm pulling so much inspiration from the Dracula show Katie Mcgrath was in, Post-Civil War, Slow Burn, Sort Of, SuperCorp, if i end up making a smut scene I'll warn you and then change the rating accordingly, set in Philadelphia bc I went there once and think i know what im talking about even tho i dont, the timepiece au no one asked for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 12:07:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 83,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12817176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerstes/pseuds/Aerstes
Summary: After Lionel is elected Governor of Pennsylvania, the Luthors are pulled from their rural roots to live in Philadelphia to be closer to the heart of American politics shortly after the end of the Civil War. Curious about her new environment, Lena sets off to explore the city. After a chance encounter with a mysterious, quick witted trickster and con artist named Kara Danvers, Lena discovers a dark subculture of the city, hiding in plain sight behind the doors of a tavern owned by an elusive woman named Astra. Lena has no idea what kind of trouble she's about to get into, but as long as it involves Kara, Lena can't seem to be bothered to care.





	1. Chapter 1

Lena’s stomach churned uncomfortably as the stage coach rocked back and forth, the large, thin wheels bouncing on the rocks and uneven dirt of the road they were on that led them, at a painfully slow pace, it seemed, towards Philadelphia, towards Lena’s new home.

“How much longer?” she groaned, growing more and more nauseous by the second.

“So soft, this one,” Lex replied with a chuckle from where he sat next to her.

Lena responded to him with a swift smack on the arm, which only made him laugh more.

“Enough, both of you,” Lionel replied distractedly as he read the politics section of the paper for the fourth or fifth time since they piled in to the coach for the trip to Philadelphia.

Lena glanced at the cover of it as he read. On the top right corner, the Tribune had the date November 8th, 1865, written in small print. Lena attempted to skim the over the front page article, which read “Economic Struggles Continue in the Fallen South”, but found that reading only made her nausea worse.

Why had they travelled from their home in Hannastown to a remote train station a whole hour outside the city, when they could have just gone directly into Philadelphia and avoid the need for a coach entirely? Simple. Lionel was unable to procure a private train car on a direct trip, and he “simply couldn’t focus with the sound of commoner prattle around him”.

 _Well it’s a good thing those commoners elected you into the office of Governor, then,_ Lena thought bitterly to herself.

The back left jerked over a large rock. Lena felt her stomach spasm, and the nausea increased tenfold.

“If I don’t get out of this damn car soon I’m going to release the contents of my stomach onto Lex’s new shoes.”

“Look out the window, you impatient girl,” Lillian remarked coldy, “We’re here.”

It was true. As Lena peered out the window she could see the buildings growing more and more clustered, the roads smoothing and connecting to one another to converge on the city.

“Oh, look,” Lena said. “The train station. That would have been convenient.”

Lena knew she was being bratty, but she didn’t feel like reigning in her emotions. She was tired, she needed a bath, and most importantly, she needed to settle her stomach.

“Be glad there was a bridge to take across the river, or your Highness would have had to get on a boat.”

Lena stuck her tongue out unattractively at her brother, which earned her a silent glare from Lillian.

The coach took them a short ways down Market Street, until they arrived in front of their new house. It was smaller than their home back in Hannastown, with no land to speak of. It would definitely take some time for Lena to adjust to her new urban environment. Still, it was definitely a house that suggested that people of some importance lived within it, paling only in comparison to the President’s House just up the road built originally for George Washington.

“Well. Home sweet home, then,” Lionel declared proudly as the driver and his assistant hopped off of their seats from the front of the coach and began to unstrap the bags piled atop it.

Lena sulked as she followed the rest of her family into the house. She didn’t understand why they had to uproot their lives and come here. Lionel had always been a politician, had always travelled to Harrisburg or Washington or wherever he was needed for long periods of time. And quite frankly, the house was much more peaceful when he was gone. She knew that this house in Philadelphia would serve as a midway point between his work in Harrisburg and in Washington, but she didn’t see why they had to be here to wait around for him to come home the same as they had done in Hannastown.

“I get the bigger room,” Lex whispered into Lena’s ear as their parents stepped into the house ahead of them.

“Absolutely not,” Lena hissed back.

“Try and stop me then, Highness,” he said, and darted into the house and disappeared up a nearby flight of steps.

“You mongrel!” she squealed, and took off after him.

By the time Lena reached the top of the steps, Lex had in fact claimed the largest room available aside from the master bedroom, and had locked the door behind him. Letting out a frustrated huff of breath, Lena stormed into the room two doors down from his, deciding that it was to her satisfaction. Or, as close to satisfactory as she was going to get. Though, the sickly yellow color of the paint on the walls was definitely the first thing she was going to change.

Lena crumpled onto the bed, and a faint cloud of dust billowed into the air as she disturbed the bed spread that hadn’t been touched or cleaned in Lord knew how long. But Lena was too tired to care. She laid down on top of the dirty bed anyway, and in a few moments, she was asleep.

*

She was jolted awake several hours later to the sound of a hard knocking on her door.

“What?” she snapped at the person behind the disturbance.

“Sorry, Miss Luthor,” the voice of a young woman called from the other side of the door. “But the Governor requests your presence in the dining room for dinner.”

Lena tried to shake the sleep from her groggy head, not one to say no to food, and got up to open the door.

“Thank you, um…”

“You can just call me Samantha, Miss Luthor,” the small brunette girl replied, “Or just Sam. I’m your maid. So you’ll be seeing a lot of me. No need for formalities.”

“Well, then, Sam,” Lena said, rubbing her eyes, “You can call me Lena.”

“Of course, Miss…Lena.”

“Thanks. So, Sam,” Lena said as she proceeded down the hall towards the staircase, stopping at the top of the staircase to turn to her maid. “Who does the cooking around here? You?”

“No, Miss Lena,” Sam replied, “You have a cook here as well. Her name is Jess.”

“A cook _and_ a maid?” Lena replied, “How lavish. She any good?”

“She comes personally recommended by President Johnson, actually.”

“Well then! I’m sure we’re in for a treat.”

With that, Lena scurried down the stairs, eager to get something into her growling stomach.

*

The sound of silverware clanking against plates seemed deafening. After a long day of travel, no one was much in the mood for conversation. Except, of course, for the proud new Governor.

“Once we get all unpacked here over the weekend I’ll likely be headed to Harrisburg for at least a week. In the meantime, I heard the President is in town for a few days. I wouldn’t be surprised if he dropped in to wish his congratulations. He did endorse me during the election, after all.”

“Really? I didn’t know that!” Lex said sarcastically. As he and Lena both knew, while the election was in its peak, Lionel made a point to mention the president’s endorsement to just about anyone within earshot.

Lionel took a long sip of his wine.

“Anyhow,” he said, ignoring Lex’s quip. “I would just like to remind everyone that there is going to be a ball held in my honor this Saturday. It’s being arranged by some of the most powerful businessmen and politicians in the city. So I expect everyone to be on their best behavior.”

He made sure to give his two children a good long look for emphasis.

“Yes,” Lillian cut it, “About that. Lena, I went ahead and sent your measurements to a dress maker uptown a couple of weeks ago. Supposedly she’s the best in the city. Your new dress for the ball should be available for you to try on in the morning. Is that alright?”

“What color is it?” Lena asked quickly.

“Don’t concern yourself with that.”

“But I asked for magenta!”

Lena had been reading as many social news sections of her father’s newspapers as she could get a hold of, and she had heard about the use of magenta in women’s fashion. She knew it was something similar to pink in color, but had never seen it for herself. Regardless, she was dying to own a garment of that color.

“Lena, I told you,” Lillian replied dryly. “That color is not only tacky and far too loud to be worn by a girl of your age and stature, but I also personally happen to hate it. Just because it’s popular, doesn’t mean it’s for you. You’re far too pale for that color, anyway.”

Lena sighed loudly.

“Whatever you say, Lillian.”

Everyone at the table froze. Lionel’s eyes searched the room to make sure no staff members were milling about.

“Lena” he said quietly, “I thought we talked about this. So long as we’re here, you will refer to her as Mother, as is proper and expected.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Lena said, slurping at her soup in a way she knew would get under his skin. “Though I thought I distinctly remembered her saying, ‘You are not to refer to me as your mother as I am not to be confused with that cheap, back alley whor-“

“Lena!” Lionel bellowed, the sheer volume of his voice startling Lena enough that she dropped her spoon, sending it splashing into her soup bowl. “That’s enough.”

Lena cleared her throat.

“Apologies, Father. Mother.”

“It’s all right, dear,” Lillian said through gritted teeth, “We both are going to have to make sacrifices for the sake of your father’s career.”

There was a brief silence, until finally Lex cut through it.

“Am I getting a new outfit for the ball as well?”

*

That night, despite her long journey, Lena felt annoyingly awake and restless. Her bed was no longer covered in dust, thanks to Jess, but it was unfamiliar to her all the same, and therefore she couldn’t sleep soundly in it. At least not tonight.

Besides, cities were _noisy_. Back home, the only sounds had been that of the cats chasing the mice about the house, and the screaming of the cicadas in the heat of the summer. Here? Well, did anyone ever stop working? All she could hear was the din of the nearby docks loading and unloading their goods. Somewhere nearby, men stumbled out of nearby bars, singing chanteys to one another, hooting at any moving thing they mistook for an attractive young girl.

It was dreadful.

And yet.

No. Cities were dirty. And morally corrupt.

And yet…

They were filled to the brim with evil characters and corruption…no place for a girl like her at this hour…

And yet…

Lena wanted nothing more than to get out there and become a part of it. And after all. She was eighteen. It was only eleven at night. And life in a new city was happening without her.

Before she could think on it too much, she was already changing out of her nightgown and back into the dress she had worn on the trip here. It was the only thing that was unpacked. She creaked her door open as carefully as she could, careful not to let its squeaky hinges wake her family members scattered in rooms down the hall. She carried her shoes in her hand so that she could move soundlessly down the staircase and towards the front door. She had no idea what she was doing, where she planned to go. But it didn’t matter.

“Miss Lena!” a voice hissed behind her as she opened the front door.

Lena froze and turned towards the source of the voice.

“Yes, Sam?” Lena asked innocently.

“Just what exactly are you doing?” Sam asked.

Lena blinked several times, trying to formulate a lie.

“Wh…what are you doing, Sam? It’s late. You should have left hours ago.”

Sam rolled her eyes.

“I was helping Jess bring in some meats and produce from the docks, thank you very much. Now. Where do you think you’re going?”

Lena looked Sam over. She was only a couple years older than her, 20 years old, at the most.

“Sam. I’m an eighteen year old girl in a new city. Where do you think I’m going? I’m going to have a look around.”

“Not alone, you’re not. I’m going to fetch Master Alexander to accompany you.”

“You most certainly will not!” Lena exclaimed. “He’s a dreadful murderer of fun.”

“Well, I’m not letting you go alone.”

Lena sighed agitatedly.

“Fine. Then you come with me.”

“I…I ought to be getting home…” Sam said warily.

“What’s at home that’s so important? Come on! I’ll…”

Lena may have been new to this house, but she knew Lionel well enough to think she could find one of his usual hiding places. After a quick look over of where he had set up his office two rooms beyond the dining room on the first floor, she found what she was looking for.

“Aha!” she exclaimed to herself, grabbing the one of two copies of Dante’s Inferno Lionel had in his box of books yet to be unpacked, the less worn copy, grabbed two one dollar bills, a five , and a ten dollar bill tucked inside of it, and rushed back out to where Sam was still standing in the entryway. “I’ll treat you to a drink! Or a meal! Or…whatever you want! Just…please come with me? I’m feeling…restless. Please don’t deny me this one small pleasure, Sam. It’s just an innocent exploration of the town. Please?”

Sam bit her lip, contemplating, looking at the bills in Lena’s hand.

“You stole that money,” she said.

“Borrowed it! Don’t be so dramatic! He’s my father, after all. What’s mine is his, right?”

Sam looked warily at her again. Finally, she sighed in submission.

“Fine, but if you do anything foolish, I’m dragging you right back here and telling the Governor. Understand?”

Lena hopped up and down with excitement.

“Fine! Fine! Agreed. Now let’s go!”

She could hear Sam grumble behind her as she slipped out the front door and headed down Market Street towards whatever fate awaited her.

*

“Okay…wait…which street are we on again?”

Sam had a casually smug look on her face as she followed close behind a very lost Lena. Her eyes darted back and forth, evaluating every person that passed them on the street, avoiding Lena’s gaze.

“You are the one that wanted to explore the city, am I right? So, you have to figure this out for yourself.” She stopped speaking long enough to stare down a middle aged gentleman who got a little too close to Lena as he passed her. “Now, if at any point you decide you want to go home, I will direct you there swiftly. Otherwise, I am not getting any further involved in this nonsense. I am only here to make sure nothing bad happens to you.”

Lena rolled her eyes.

“Well that’s no fun,” she groaned.

Then, grinning to herself, Lena made an abrupt turn to the left, darting ahead of several other people milling about at the corner, and rushing down a nearby alley.

After a few moments, Sam whipped around the same corner, catching up to Lena in a few strides.

“Must you make this any harder on me, Miss Lena?”

Lena smiled widely.

“Yes. I must.”

Lena only meant to go down…whatever road she was on now, as a way to toy with Sam, but as she took two more paces down the sidewalk, she could hear music around the next corner. Curious, she followed the noise until she emerged from the alley, and discovered quite a bit of revelry going on inside of what appeared to be some kind of tavern.

Sam, hovering closely behind her, had an unimpressed look on her face.

“What’s in there?” Lena asked.

“Nothing you should be associating yourself with.”

Lena groaned aloud at her companion, and peaked inside the large front window of the establishment.

In the back corner of the room inside, a pianist played a lively tune. Men and women alike danced together in the center of the room, small tables crammed closer to the walls to keep the floor as clear as possible for the couples as they swirled and tumbled around one another in methodical, if not slightly tipsy, maneuvers. The women wore full skirted dresses in bright colors and deeply cut necklines, the men attempted not to step on the large skirts, the long tails of their coats flapping as they spun around their partners, making the whole scene remind Lena of exotic birds she had seen depictions of in books.

Across from the dance floor was a long bar, where those too drunk or too shy took shelter from the dancing.

“Oh, Sam!” Lena sighed, looking down at her own dark green dress, the sleeves much longer and the neckline much more modest than that of the women inside. “I wish I would have dressed properly! Look what fun! We never danced back home.”

“Well, Miss Lena, now is not time to start. You are an unwed young girl, and it is far too late at night for you to be out anyway, let alone out in a place like _that_.”

“What’s wrong with it? It looks perfectly harmless to me.”

“Well, looks can be deceiving. Come on, let’s…”

Sam realized a moment too late that Lena had already ducked into the front door of the tavern and proceeded to lose herself in the crowd.

Lena would find a way to make it up to her.

The problem now was that Lena had only her plan out far enough to get into the club unrestricted by her chaperone. Now that she was inside, the music from the piano and the din of revelers much louder than before, she realized now that she had no idea what to do next. She didn’t look the part. She didn’t feel the part. Maybe this was a bad idea…

“You lost?” a voice called from behind her.

Lena spun around, and saw a young girl at a table with three men older than she, a deck of cards in her hands.

Lena blinked at the girl, dumbfounded. She couldn’t have been any older than Lena herself. And yet there she was, sitting at a cards table, shuffling the deck with expert hands, her demeanor that of total dominance over the older men around her. Men who were surely more rich and powerful than she was, based on the expensive looking suits that they wore.

The girl’s golden hair cascaded down her left shoulder in careless waves rather than being done up like the rest of the women in the club. Her face glowed with youth and energy, her blue eyes sparkled with a devilishness that was captivating. At the moment those eyes were locked on Lena, her hands still tossing the cards about as if they had a mind of their own, a slight smirk on her face, Lena felt somehow caught by her, like a fly in a spider web.

“Oh, um. I mean, no, not technically,” Lena replied to the girl’s question.

The girl shrugged casually, looking down at the cards long enough to deal them to the men at the table.

“Hey, it’s none of my business either way. I just don’t typically see a girl like yourself in here at this hour. Especially without a chaperone.”

As if on cue, Sam came bursting through the crowd of dancers, grasping Lena’s shoulder firmly.

“There you are, you devil,” she scolded.

“That would be my chaperone, apparently,” Lena said with a groan.

“And we were both just leaving,” Sam insisted, already pulling Lena towards the exit.

“Come now, Miss Chaperone,” the blonde said as the men one after another tossed several brightly colored gambling chips into the middle of the table. “You just got here! Surely you can let her have a little fun before taking her back to the no doubt dull set of rules that exist outside those doors.”

There was something so odd about the way the blonde girl spoke, as if she were speaking from a script, her whole persona a rehearsed character.

“What are you playing?” Lena asked.

The girl smiled.

“I’m sure you’re not familiar with it.”

Glancing at the men surrounding her, the girl made sure to see that they were all preoccupied with their cards and reading each other’s faces, rather than watching her. Silently, she smoothed her palm on the table in front of her, and let her index finger point to the man across from her for only a second, before winking at Lena and removing her hand from the table.

“Show em, gentlemen,” she said, and one by one the men surrendered their cards face up.

Lena’s vision wasn’t perfect without her reading glasses, so at the distance she was standing from them, she couldn’t quite make out what the cards said. However, once they had all showed their cards, all of them were grumbling angrily, except for the man that the girl had pointed to, who collected the pile of chips from the middle of the table with a smug smile.

“Why don’t you all go grab yourselves a drink?” The blonde said. “I’d like to show this fine young lady a thing or two about cards.”

“I’m not leaving this table until I’ve won my money back,” one of the men insisted.

The girl’s expression changed from that of warmth to absolute ice in a fraction of a second, her eyes fixating on the man who had spoken. If Lena didn’t know any better, based on the way he instantly faltered and got up from the table, she could have sworn that he was actually intimidated by the petite young girl.

In a moment, the table was vacant except for her.

“Miss Lena, we really should…” Sam attempted to cut in.

“Sit,” the girl insisted cordially, and without even considering Sam’s warning, Lena obliged, taking up the seat of the man who had won the last hand.

“How did you know that man would win?” Lena asked. “You didn’t look at the cards when you handed them out.”

“The proper term is to say I ‘dealt’ the cards. And I choose to keep my methods of deduction to myself. Now. Lena, was it?”

“Um…yes,” Lena replied.

The girl nodded and held out her hand, which Lena took cautiously.

“Lena, I’m Kara. Now. I can assume that you’re someone of stature. Or at least the daughter of someone of stature. And as such I can’t, in all good conscience, expose you to the evils of card games. Really, I shouldn’t allow you to gamble at all. But. I can tell you’re curious. And I would love nothing more than to…” she gave a lingering look at Lena’s figure, “nurture that curiosity. So, if you’re up for it, I offer simply a guessing game. Sound innocent enough, miss chaperone?” She looked now at Sam.

“I doubt I’d be heard if I were to protest, anyway.”

Kara smiled.

“Correct. Now,” she looked back at Lena. Once again Lena found herself drawn in to her intensely blue eyes, as if they were hypnotizing her. “I’ll keep this simple. I will put three cards in front of me.”

As she spoke, her hands mimicked the instructions, setting three cards face down in the middle of the table.

“Now I’ll turn them over. And we have the two of hearts. The Jack of spades. And the Queen of Diamonds. Now I’ll turn them back. I will switch up the order of the cards. When the cards stop moving, simply tell me where the two of hearts is.”

She did so, and began moving the three cards around beneath her fingertips, the cards moving so fast Lena could barely keep track of them. She tried in vain to fixate her eyes on what she thought had to be the right card, focusing as hard as she could.

“If you pick the wrong card, you owe me one of those dollar bills tucked in your bosom.”

Startled, Lena glanced down quickly at her chest to make sure the bills had not been visible the whole time. She could see nothing. Then she cursed herself, remembering she was supposed to be watching the cards.

“And if I pick the right one?” Lena asked, eyes not leaving the movement of Kara’s hands.

“Then I buy you a drink.”

“Miss Lena,” Sam hissed intently.

The cards stopped moving. Lena bit her lip, looking back up at Kara momentarily, before pointing to the card on the right. Kara flipped it over, and it was the Queen of Diamonds. Kara smiled, her eyes glancing down to Lena’s chest with a small smile. Frowning, Lena pulled one of the dollar bills from beneath the fabric and handed it to Kara.

“You distracted me with all your chatter,” Lena said.

“You can try again, if you are so sure of that,” Kara said.

Lena had started to notice that Kara had a tendency to glance to her right every so often, as if she were watching someone, or someone was watching her.

“Fine,” Lena said.

“Miss Lena, we really…”

Lena shushed Sam before she could continue, and fixed her eyes on Kara’s hands. Once again, Kara flipped all three cards over. This time, the two of hearts was on the left. She began moving them around rapidly once more. And once more Lena tried to follow the two of hearts. For the first few turns of Kara’s quick fingers, Lena was sure she was tracking the card accurately. Then Kara’s hands seemed to blur, moving faster than she could comprehend, and then they suddenly stopped.

“What do you think?” she asked.

Lena pondered the cards for a few moments before picking the card in the middle. Kara turned it over, and it was the Jack of Spades.

“Son of a…” Lena stopped herself.

Bitterly, she took the other dollar bill out of its hiding place. She now only had a five and a ten. She needed to go home before things went any further. Unless…

“You switched the cards, didn’t you? The two of hearts isn’t even on the table anymore, is it?

“That is a serious accusation, Lena. I can’t have a sweet girl like yourself thinking so ill of me. Here,”

Kara flipped the remaining two cards over, and the two of hearts was in fact there, on the left. Lena cursed under her breath.

“Perhaps gambling just isn’t for you,” Kara said with a warm smile.

Again, Kara glanced to the right.

“Unless, we perhaps switch the game up a little?”

Kara took back the three cards, shuffling them back into the deck. She randomly pulled a card from the deck, handing it to Lena face down.

“If I can guess what card you’re holding, you hand me that five dollar bill you have tucked away.”

Lena was oddly captivated by the girl across the table from her. A part of her was willing to hand her whatever she wanted so that she would keep looking at her with that devilish smile. But the other part of her wasn’t a complete idiot.

“Thank you, but I’ll pass. As you said, gambling just isn’t for me.”

Kara glanced to the right, her smile faltering.

“Fair enough,” she finally said, and stood, extending a hand. “It was nice to meet you, Lena.”

Lena shook her hand, not saying anything in reply, suddenly tongue tied. Seeing the opportunity to end the evening before anything else happened, Sam dragged Lena out of the club and back in the direction they had come from.

A few blocks down, Lena finally freed herself from Sam’s tight grip on her forearm.

“I don’t see why you’re so upset. Nothing bad happened.”

“And you should be thankful for that. That is not a place a respectable girl like yourself should ever go.”

“What’s so bad about it? I don’t…”

“Enough,” Sam snapped, resuming her fierce pace back towards Lena’s home. Having no idea where she was, Lena had no choice but to try and keep up. “Now that your father is Governor, you are in the public eye. Everything you do will reflect on your father and his career. If we’re lucky, no one recognizes you yet to spread around the rumor that you were seen in that shameful place.”

“But why is it…” Sam turned around to glare at Lena. “Alright. Nevermind.”

Sam led Lena home successfully. As Sam unlocked the front door to let them both in, Lena reached into her dress to retrieve what was left of the money she had ‘borrowed’ from Lionel, only for her stomach to drop as she realized it wasn’t there.

“Sam…the money…it’s gone…”

Sam’s eyes widened.

“You lost it?” she said in horror.

“I don’t know! I had it back in the tavern! And now…you don’t think…”

“That you were robbed? It’s completely likely. How much?”

“Fifteen dollars.”

“Lena! What in God’s name were you thinking carrying that much money around! For the love of…”

Sam pinched the skin between her eyes, clearly distressed.

“Well, we have to go back and get it! It had to have been that girl Kara…I just don’t know how the hell she did it.”

“We’re not going _anywhere_ , Miss Lena. If we go back now, things will only get worse. I told you that place was bad. You are just going to go to bed and hope to the Lord that the Governor doesn’t find out that the money is missing. Do you understand?”

Lena felt like a child being scolded for sneaking sweets. She shuffled her feet, not meeting Sam’s stern gaze.

“I’m sorry.”

Sam sighed, her face softening slightly.

“It’s alright. Just…promise me you’ll at least try to stop getting yourself into trouble? And if you do, make sure I’m not involved in it.”

Lena nodded, and slipped quietly into the house, leaving Sam to head to her own home. She felt sick to her stomach at the idea of losing her father’s money, and to a thief no less. A charming, surprisingly innocent looking thief, but a thief all the same. She still had the urge to track Kara down and demand her money back. And perhaps she still would. But not tonight. For, as she crept up to her room, wincing at every small creak in the floor boards, she realized that she was extremely tired, the excitement of the day finally catching up to her.

She slept uneasily, however, feeling that somehow her troubles were only beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

Lena slept in late the next morning. By the time she came downstairs, Jess was already preparing for the evening meal, but she whipped up a couple of eggs for Lena since she had missed breakfast.

Lena could feel Sam’s wary eyes on her the second she woke up, no doubt waiting for her to inevitably do something else wrong and needing saving yet again. She knew that she had messed up last night, but she also wished that Sam wouldn’t take her self-declared title of Lena’s chaperone so seriously.

Lena was moping in the dining room when Lillian found her.

“There you are, you dozy girl. Are you ready to go?”

 _Oh yeah, the dress,_ Lena thought.

“As I’ll ever be…Mother.”

Lillian stiffened at the use of the title. It would take some getting used to for the both of them.

“Dear?” Lionel called from the office, his voice slightly distressed.

“Yes?” Lillian replied, not moving from the doorway of the dining room.

“Did you find the funds I gave you for today’s shopping insufficient?”

Lena felt ill.

“Of course not, why do you ask?” Lillian called back.

“I ask because there’s money missing from my office. I assumed you took it.”

 _Oh, God,_ Lena thought, trying to hide her burning red cheeks. Lillian narrowed her eyes at Lena, as if reading her mind.

Lionel now joined them in the dining room, looking flabbergasted.

“It wasn’t me, dear. Perhaps someone else in the house took it,” Lillian said.

She was still staring at Lena, who wished at this moment that she had the power to disappear. Aside from Lillian, she could also feel Sam’s eyes on her from where she stood in the kitchen.

“You really think so, dear? I can’t believe that.”

“Well…” she began, stepping towards Lena.

“Maybe you lost it in the move,” Lena blurted out suddenly. “There was quite a lot of jostling in that carriage. Could have slipped out of it’s place.”

Lionel frowned.

“Perhaps you’re right. Ah well, I’ll keep looking just in case.”

Lillian, seeming suddenly frustrated at the missed opportunity to get her adopted daughter into trouble, and she stormed towards the front door.

“Let’s go, child,” she ordered, not waiting for Lena to catch up.

Lena rushed out the door, only to see that her new shadow was right behind her.

“Perhaps I should come along with you, Madame Luthor. Help carry the bags and such.”

“I can have them delivered,” she replied.

“Oh, they’d overcharge you for delivery, to be sure. Besides, you’ll be in need of a guide until you know your way around a new city, will you not?”

Lillian only turned her head slightly to give a curt nod to Sam before letting herself into the back of the carriage.

“What are you doing?” Lena whispered behind her as she stepped up into the carriage.

“Keeping you from doing or saying anything stupid” she whispered. “Trust me, I’d rather stay at the house then tolerate that snake of a woman all afternoon.”

Lena couldn’t help but chuckle as she sat down across from Lillian, who avoided her gaze.

*

“You have got to be kidding me,” Lena groaned as she stared in the mirror at the complete abomination of a dress Lillian had picked out for her.

“It’s not…that bad. It’s…traditional.”

Lena scoffed at the gray, scratchy fabric draped over the puffy underskirt that took up most of the dressing room.

“Traditional for a Puritan,” she spat. “Is it so much to ask for a little bit of color? I mean, how can the woman berate me for having no respectable suitors around to speak of, but insists on dressing me in a way that will prevent anyone from ever giving me a second glance?”

“Miss Lena, I’m sure you could wear a burlap sack and still be striking.”

“A burlap sack would be an improvement,” Lena sulked.

Sam rolled her eyes, then looked back to the dress, tugging at the white ruffle covering Lena’s chest.

“Alright, it’s a little plain. I’ll give you that. But the shape of it is nice. And you aren’t too covered up around the chest if you mess with the lace a bit…”

Lena raised and inquisitive eyebrow as Sam continued to disturb the fabric covering Lena’s breasts. Sam sighed.

“Tell you what,” she said, turning to look at Lena through the reflection of the mirror. “I know the seamstress here. She on occasion will give me damaged or scrap fabric to make clothes for…” Sam cleared her throat. “Anyhow, why don’t I see if there isn’t something I can do to spruce this thing up a bit, hmm?”

Lena’s eyes lit up.           

“Would you?” Lena replied gleefully. “Oh Sam, thank you so much.”

“Don’t mention it. Really. If anyone asks, I had nothing to do with it. But I can’t do nothing. It would be a shame for someone as pretty as you to not be able to show yourself off at the first ball in the city.”

“Lena?” Lillian called sternly from outside the dressing room. “What are you doing in there that’s taking so long? I just need to know if the thing fits or not.”

“It fits fine…Mother. I’ll be out in a moment,” she replied, mouthing an earnest ‘thank you’ to Sam, who winked in reply.

“Good,” Lillian replied. “Now get a move on, girl, we’re meeting your brother for lunch. Hopefully his shopping trip was more efficient than ours.”

*

That evening, Lionel made another comment about the missing money at dinner. He seemed to believe that he must have lost it in the move, but he was still upset over it nonetheless. In the commotion of the day, between shopping and unpacking, Lena had almost forgotten about her run in with the blonde thief the night before. So long as Lionel wasn’t going to be too upset about it, she was willing to drop her idea of going back to that tavern and somehow getting her money back.

Even so, she couldn’t stop thinking about the encounter. Something had felt so…strange about all of it. Like there was something just beneath the surface of what she had seen, something perhaps even ominous.

The curiosity of it kept pressing on the back of her mind. She might have even done something about it, if it weren’t for her ever watchful maid, who seemed to somehow sense Lena’s restlessness, and was there to discourage her any time she considered sneaking out to take a ‘walk’.

“I just need to stretch my legs, Sam! And if I happen to come across the tavern or that girl, I see no harm in just casually inquiring…”

“Absolutely not.”

“Oh come on! It’s worth a shot!”

“No. It’s not.”

“Explain to me whatever it is I’m not aware of, then. Because clearly you know something that I don’t.”

Sam sighed, waving her duster over the same mantle over and over again to keep her hands busy as she avoided Lena’s gaze, the two of them standing alone in the sitting room.

“That tavern…it belongs to a woman named Astra. And all you need to know about her is that she’s not a woman you ever want to be associated with. She has money and power, and none of it was acquired legally. And if anyone were to find out that the Governor’s daughter went anywhere near Astra’s Tavern, they would associate him with all of her lawlessness. So…I implore you to just leave it alone. Please.”

Lena now had more questions than ever before, but she could see the earnestness in Sam’s eyes, and she nodded in agreement.

*

Saturday arrived quickly. Lena woke up with the rise of the sun, too excited by the revelries to come to sleep any longer. The second that Sam walked in the door for her morning duties, Lena practically tackled her.

“Did you fix the dress?” she asked.

“Good lord, Miss Lena. Give me a chance to wake up before assaulting me.”

“I’m sorry! I’m just excited. So…did you?”

Sam rolled her eyes.

“Yes. I did, you ungrateful snob.”

Lena could see a faint smile on Sam’s face despite her scolding.

“Well, come on, help me sneak it up to your room before your mother wakes up.”

It took all of Lena’s self-control not to rip the box open right there in the entry way. They carried one large and one small box up the stairs to Lena’s room, and after securing the door shut behind them, Lena ripped into the larger box.

“Good lord, woman, were you raised in a barn?” Sam laughed.

“May as well have been. Oh my!” Lena gasped as she saw the new and improved dress. “Sam! It’s amazing! Help me put it on!”

“Miss Lena, it’s six in the morning, you don’t need to put it on yet!”

Lena pouted at her maid, who groaned in response.

“Fine,” Same conceded, “But careful not to crease it, it has to look nice for tonight.”

*

Lena put off donning her new dress for the evening as long as possible, knowing that if her mother saw her in it with any time to spare before they were expected at the hall, she might very well rip it to shreds and force her to wear something else.

The dress was essentially the same as before, but Sam had taken a large swatch of silky magenta fabric, attaching it to the back of the skirt to create a sweeping pop of color on the bustle. She had also added a belt of the same color to the front, and two more segments of the fabric beneath the lace, which she had also cut back to reveal more of Lena’s chest. Finally, Sam had managed to take what looked like an older gray hat, which was smaller and was meant to sit at an angle atop the head, complementing Lena’s hair that wrapped around her shoulder in large curls, and had added swaths of matching color to it with fake flowers and silk.

“How ever did you manage this, Sam? I hope you didn’t spend much on it.”

“I didn’t spend anything on it,” Sam replied as she fidgeted with the bustle. “Like I said, the seamstress and I are friends. Oddly enough, it’s beneficial to be kind to the people who provide you with goods and services.”

“Dually noted,” Lean replied with a chuckle. “Still, insist on paying you for your efforts. As it is, I owe you for saving me from myself the other night at that tavern.”

Lena opened the top drawer of her nightstand, pulling out some of the money she had saved, and handed it to Sam. She looked hesitant at first, but eventually, Sam took the money with a grateful smile.

“So, what will you be wearing?” Lena asked as she secured the hat in its proper place atop her head.

“Oh, I’m not going.”

“What?” Lena said, turning abruptly to face Sam. “Of course you are, what do you mean?”

“Lena, I have a life outside of this home, you know. Besides, maids aren’t typically invited to these types of things.”

“But you’re my only friend in the city!” Lena sighed at Sam’s firm facial expression, which indicated that Lena wasn’t going to get what she wanted. “Fine. But I will get you to have some fun one of these days, Sam Arias.”

“We’ll see about that,” Sam replied. “Promise me you’ll stay out of trouble tonight?”

Lena smirked.

“I promise to try.”

Sam rolled her eyes.

“I suppose that’s as much as I can ask for.”

She allowed Lena to wrap her up into a tight hug.

“Now get going,” she said after a moment, pulling away, “I wouldn’t be surprised if the Governor’s wife left without you.”

As if on cue, Lillian made a harsh call to Lena from downstairs. She felt her stomach clench with nerves, worried as to how her adopted mother would react to the alterations Sam had made.

When she descended the stairs, Lillian stared at her, her expression unreadable. Her gaze remained unbroken as Lena walked past her silently, heading out the door and into the carriage where her father and brother were waiting for them. She could feel Lillian’s scornful eyes boring down on her as she followed her closely into the carriage. But Lillian, surprisingly, kept her thoughts to herself, remaining silent the entire ride towards the hall where they were expected.

When the Luthor family arrived, they could already hear music playing from within the hall. An attendant came out to greet them, giving the Governor and his son a respectful nod as they exited the car, and offering his hand to assist Lillian and Lena as they followed suit. The main doors to the hall remained shut for a moment, Lena could hear a booming voice from within announcing their arrival, and the doors were opened to a cordial round of applause as the Governor entered, followed closely by his family.

After that, Lionel was quickly swept off into a routine of introductions and small talk with every notable guest in attendance, his wife on his arm, charming as ever. Lex disappeared into the crowd as well, murmuring something about an old friend from school he wished to catch up with.

Lena was left alone, feeling suddenly foolish and out of place. She didn’t know anyone other than her family, and she was quite afraid to venture out to try and meet anyone. She stood alone in the corner of the hall near the bar, watching everyone else around her make themselves much more comfortable in the evening’s revelries than she could.

“Not enjoying your own party, huh?” a soft, feminine voice remarked from behind her. Whoever it was that spoke moved to stand close behind Lena’s left shoulder.

“It’s not my party,” Lena replied, still looking forward.

“Nonsense,” the girl behind her replied. “Everyone in this room is watching you, whether you realize it or not. And not just because of that sinful shade of pink you’re wearing.”

Lena knew she recognized that voice from somewhere, but still she stared forward without even knowing why she was afraid to turn around.

“Do explain.”

“Well,” the voice behind her continued, “this is a room full of the elite of Philadelphia, Harrisburg, even Washington. And you are one of the few women your age within this circle who isn’t married or engaged. So trust me when I say that this evening is as much about you as it is about your father.”

Lena frowned, her eyes conveniently meeting Lillian’s at that moment, who was talking to an older gentleman and what appeared to be his son, who was about ten years Lena’s senior, who was watching her as well.

“Well my brother isn’t married, either. And he’s older.”

The girl behind her took a long breath. Lena could feel the warmth of it against her neck, and it made her thinking suddenly foggy.

“Men get more freedom in such matters though, don’t they?” The voice replied. “He’ll likely have the freedom to pursue his own career before being expected to find a wife.”

Lena sighed.

“This place is so different from back home.”

The girl sighed as well.

“I know what you mean.”

Unable to contain her curiosity any longer, Lena turned to see who it was she had been conversing with. Upon seeing her face, Lena was in shock.

“You!” she hissed.

“Hi!” Kara said, beaming at her with a warm, genuine smile.

Her hair was in the same loose curls it had been in the last time they met. She wore a sinful shade of red lipstick, and had on a dark blue dress with a more subtle skirt and a plunging neckline.

“What are you doing here?” Lena asked harshly, trying not to let her eyes roam over the girl’s figure.

“I was invited,” Kara replied with a shrug, her facial expression as innocent as ever.

Kara turned towards the bar, gesturing for the attention of the bartender, while Lena stared at her, dumbfounded. A moment later, she was holding two glasses of champagne, and was offering one to Lena. Despite herself, Lena took it.

“You have a lot of nerve showing your face here after what you did to me the other day.”

Kara looked confused for a moment, before resuming her sunny demeanor.

“Well, first of all, I didn’t know you were the Governor’s daughter until I saw you announced just now. Second, what on planet Earth did I do to you? Besides make an innocent enough bet.”

Lena couldn’t believe the nerve of this girl.

“You stole from me!” she said, trying to keep her voice down so as not to cause a scene. “The money that I was carrying on me. You stole it.”

Kara seemed offended by Lena’s words, or at least she pretended as much.

“Miss Luthor, I did no such thing. And I’m offended you would even make such an accusation.”

“Oh don’t play innocent with me.”

Kara took a sip of her champagne, still smiling at Lena.

“I’m sorry you feel that I have wronged you in such a way. But I must assure you that if anyone did in fact steal from you, it wasn’t me. Besides, you could have simply lost it. Of all the places to keep your belongings, I wouldn’t say that between your breasts was the most secure option.”

Kara made a point to look down at Lena’s chest for a long moment as she spoke. Lena could feel her cheeks begin to flush.

“Come now, Miss Luthor. I’d hate to see you cross with me. I was hoping we could be friends. And it seems like you could use one right about now.”

If only Sam was there to be a voice of reason, Lena might not have let Kara’s big blue eyes and unassuming smile draw her in. But she was right, in a room full of people she didn’t know, Kara was the closest thing she had to a friend.

Kara gestured towards Lena’s champagne glass, which Lena now realized she had already drained the contents of. Lena shrugged in submission, and with a wide grin, Kara helped herself to a near full bottle of champagne sitting within her reach behind the bar, and she filled both their glasses.

“You can’t just take the whole bottle,” Lena commented.

“Why not? The drinks are free to guests. What’s the difference between taking one glass at a time as opposed to one bottle at a time?”

“You have a very loose grasp on morality, don’t you?” Lena commented.

Kara dragged her index finger up the side of the champagne bottle, capturing a stray drop of champagne that had been sliding down it.

 “Why do you say that?” Kara asked, licking the escaped droplet of liquid off of her finger. “Because I’m not stuffy like all these people? Because I don’t follow a certain code of behavior? Well, neither do you, I think. And neither do a surprising amount of people in this room. I’m just not trying all that hard to hide it.”

Lena frowned, frustrated with her inability to understand the girl standing in front of her.

“You’re very opinionated for a girl your age.”

Kara shrugged, sipping her champagne.

“I suppose so.”

Kara’s eyes seemed to be wandering the room, preoccupied with something in particular, but Lena didn’t know what.

“So Lena,” Kara said, eyes focusing back on her charge for a moment. “What does a girl like you do for fun? Other than drive your chaperone insane?”

“She’s not really my chaperone. She’s my maid. She was just following along the other night to make sure I stayed out of trouble.”

“Your maid, huh?” Her eyes were wandering again, but this time she seemed to be following something or someone as they moved about the room. “Poor girl. But you didn’t answer my question.”

_What was she so distracted over all the time?_

“Oh. I don’t know,” Lena said. “When we still had a farm to maintain I would spend a lot of my time outside. And in the winter months I would usually do a lot of reading. I guess I’ll be doing a lot more of that now.”

Kara gave her a puzzled look.

“What, that’s it? Reading and gardening?”

“Well…I mean, yeah. There’s not all that much to do in rural Pennsylvania. I always wanted to have more of a social life, you know, do all those things young girls do that I’ve always read about. But my mother…well…she’s always kept a tight grip on me.”

Kara bit her lip, her eyes raking over Lena. She turned away, utterly unused to being looked at the way Kara was looking at her. But then Kara’s eyes darted off again, and she abruptly pushed herself away from the bar and towards Lena, her mouth near her ear.

“Dance with me,” she whispered.

“What?” Lena barely managed to croak out, her throat suddenly very dry.

“Come on, it’ll be fun. You said you wanted to do what other girls your age do, and other girls your age dance when a band is playing.”

“Yes, with a male partner, traditionally.”

“Oh, to hell with tradition. I know you didn’t wear that dress just so you could hide in a corner all night.”

Kara held a hand out to Lena, and, downing the remainder of the champagne in her glass, Lena allowed herself to be led by the hand by her new companion towards the throng of dancing couples in the center of the ballroom. Even though Lena couldn’t see her, she could sense that Lillian was somewhere close by, watching her every move.

Kara dragged Lena into the middle of the dancing, spinning her around until they were face to face, and placing her left palm firmly on Lena’s waist. Lena could feel her eyes widening, entirely unused to this kind of contact from another girl. She knew that sometimes female friends could be more affectionate with each other than men, but this felt somehow different.

Kara easily took the lead, much more confident in her own dancing skills than Lena. Lena tried her best to keep up, her feet stumbling over each other awkwardly. If Kara noticed that Lena was an inept partner, she didn’t let on. As they drifted around the floor in time to the music, Lena couldn’t help but feel as if every eye was on them, judging them. She felt as if everyone in the room was as keenly aware of Kara’s guiding hand on the small of Lena’s back, she felt as though her cheeks were bright red enough to glow in the dark.

Kara, however, didn’t seem to have a care in the world. She even seemed amused by Lena’s tenseness.

“You could try to enjoy yourself, you know,” Kara said into Lena’s ear.

“I’m…I’m not used to this.”

The expression of the blonde was suddenly coy and innocent as she leaned her face in closer to Lena’s

“Are you referring to the dancing or being held another woman?”

Lena tried to swallow past the lump that had formed in her throat.

“All of it,” she croaked.

Kara smiled, her grasp on Lena’s lower back and shoulder loosening slightly. Again her eyes became distracted by something beyond the two of them. Then, her focus was wholly back on Lena again, her eyes darkening with something Lena couldn’t identify, but it made her stomach flutter in a way she’d never felt before.

“Well I would love you make you more familiar with such things…” she whispered. Then her eyes locked on something beyond them. “But perhaps another time. I have to leave you now. Thank you for the dance.”

And just like that, she was gone, slipping through the crowd, and leaving Lena alone in the middle of a crowded room as if she were never there. As Lena struggled to wrap her mind around what had just happened, she became more and more aware of a small commotion on the opposite side of the room. Lex appeared at Lena’s elbow.

“I advise we should get out of here before the drama starts.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean someone just stole the First Lady’s jewelry right off of her person.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I know I probably have no business trying to write a time piece fic...but also screw it I'm doing it anyway. There's not going to be a set update schedule for this story. So to stay up on what's going on with the story and when I'll be posting new chapters, follow the 1865 tag on my tumblr (url: schatzietess). And if there's anyone out there with more knowledge of this specific time period who happens to see something I'm portraying inaccurately, just shoot me a message. But also like don't be a dick about it, i'm trying, okay...  
> <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FYI when i say 'club' I don't mean like a modern dance club I mean one of those dull membership bars like the Moose Club or something like that. It's just...it's a kind of bar.

There was loud commotion from all directions. The wailing of the First Lady pierced through the din of the room.

“You go check on Mother and Father,” Lena said to her brother, “I’m right behind you.”

Lex gave Lena a curious look, but didn’t question her as he walked towards their parents.

Lena didn’t know how she managed it, but she knew that Kara was involved in this somehow. Moving quickly, she headed out the exit she had seen Kara sweep her way through not a moment before, doubting her odds of being able to catch up to her, but still feeling like she had to try. The effects of the champagne she had drank were starting to sink in, making her feel lightheaded and slightly numb.

She poked her head out the side door and looked to her left, then to her right. Ahead, she saw a wisp of blonde hair disappearing as its owner rounded the corner, heading east. Lena took up a brisk pace, eager to catch up with the girl.

But what was she going to do if she actually caught her? Take the jewels back? Turn her in to the police? Did she have the courage to try either of those things?

She would figure it out when she caught her.

Lena had gained on the blonde just slightly. As she rounded another corner, Lena saw that she was about twenty or so paces ahead of her. She didn’t think that Kara knew she was behind her. Lena was moving fast enough now to be considered jogging. She was sure that in a few moments she would catch the girl. She turned the next corner, and…

Lena yelped aloud as she collided into a slender figure that stepped out of an alleyway as if they had been waiting for her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the figure asked. The voice attached to them was feminine, but Lena couldn’t see any features as the person was wearing a hooded overcoat.

“Please, move, I need to…”

“You need to what?” the voice asked, and, letting down their hood, a young, short haired brunette woman was revealed beneath it. She stared at Lena with intense eyes, her jaw forming harsh lines as her teeth clenched. “Continue to stalk that girl? I saw you following her.”

“You don’t understand,” Lena insisted, trying not to shove the girl out of her way in frustration.

Kara was getting away.

“That girl is a thief,” Lena continued. “Just now, she…”

The woman blinked, thrown off from her line of questioning for only a second.

“What is it you _think_ that she stole?”

“The First Lady’s jewelry.”

She blinked again, face utterly unreadable.

“Now, if you’ll let me pass, I have to…”

“Did you see her steal them?”

“Well, no,” Lena replied honestly.

“Then why do you think it was her?”

“Because she stole from me! Just the other night! At least, I think she did.”

The woman’s jaw clenched, then relaxed. She crossed her arms in front of her, her body language indicating that she would not be allowing Lena to continue on her quest.

“Go home, girl. You have no idea what you’re dealing with, here.”

“But I…”

“If you’re so convinced that Kar…that whoever that was, is a thief, then report her to the police. But I’m not going to just let you take off after her.”

Lena furrowed her brow, observing the woman.

“You know her,” she said. “How? Who is she? How does she…”

“Go home,” the woman said harshly. “And pray that that was the last time you run into her. Or me.”

The woman went back up the alley from where she came, and was gone. Lena stood, alone under the dull flicker of the kerosene lamp above her, more confused than ever.

*

Lillian was on Lena the second she walked into the door.

“Where have you been, you impossible girl?” she spat.

The fuzziness that had taken over Lena’s head from the champagne had turned into a dull ache.

“Mother, it’s a miracle I was able to find my way home on my own, could you please give me a moment to sit down before attacking me with your questions?”

“You were supposed to go straight home with your brother. What happened?”

Lena sighed. Hidden behind it was a choice: to tell her mother even a small slice of the truth, or to play innocent.

“I don’t know,” she said, “the commotion inside the hall frightened me and I went outside to catch my breath. After that, I figured I would just walk myself home.”

“It’s fifteen blocks, Lena! You could have been murdered or worse!”

“What’s worse than murder?”

“Oh, I don’t know, that’s not the point!”

“Mother. I’m sorry for running off. It won’t happen again. Truly, I am sorry. Alright?”

Lillian sighed, her lack of response the closest thing to an acceptance of Lena’s apology as she could muster, and she stalked off towards the sitting room, where Sam was waiting to serve her a cup of tea. Curious, Lena followed her mother in.

“Did they find the First Lady’s jewels?”

Lillian rested her forehead against her palm, collecting herself.

“No, unfortunately. It’s all terribly dreadful. Her ruby necklace especially, was an antique, a gift from the French, absolutely priceless.” She paused. “And while we’re on the subject of things going missing…Don’t think I haven’t figured out how your father’s money ended up going missing.”

Lena’s eyes darted around the room, made sure there was no one in the room besides the two of them and Sam, who looked on from the corner, looking panic stricken.

“I don’t follow,” Lena replied.

“Oh, come now. That monstrosity you’ve invented out of the bones of a perfectly suitable dress? The material had to come from somewhere. It’s one thing to disagree with my choices for you, but to steal from your father just in order to get your way…”

Lena didn’t know what to say. Was Lillian’s false theory better or worse than the truth? What was she willing to let Lillian believe?

“Why do you bring it up?” Lena replied carefully. “Do you believe that I stole the First Lady’s jewels too, is that it?”

“Oh, don’t be dramatic, I know you’re not that foolish.” She took a sip of her tea. “But I must warn you that continuing such stunts like you’ve pulled this evening will do no good for you or your prospects. No one wants a troublesome wife.”

Lena clasped her hands behind her back, her chest feeling suddenly tight.

“Well I will try harder to be more…palatable from now on.”

“See that you do. Now off to bed with you, I don’t have the energy for any more excitement this evening.”

Lena swallowed past the lump in her throat and moved silently out of the sitting room and up the stairs, shutting herself in her room, taking off the hardly used dress and hanging it on a chair in the corner. After some time had passed, there was a soft rap on the door, followed by it opening softly, and Sam peeking her head in.

“Miss? Are you alright?”

“Hmm?” Lena mumbled as she sat upright in her bed. “Yes, I’m fine”

“Do you think Mrs. Luthor will tell your father her theory about the money?”

Lena shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’m not all that concerned about it anymore. It was that girl Kara, tonight, Sam. The one who stole the jewelry. I’m sure of it.”

“She was there?”

Lena nodded.

“What will you do about it?”

Sam’s question felt more like an accusation than anything else. It felt odd the way Sam posed her question. No one in this city that Lena had met behaved normally when it came to that tavern, and to that girl.

“What can I do? I could go to the police, of course. But that wouldn’t answer any of my questions now, would it?”

Sam sighed.

“Why must you have so many questions in the first place?”

Lena shrugged.

“If I knew how to turn them off, I would.”

Lena bit her lip, thinking, as she laid back on her bed once again.

“Sam?”

“Yes?”

“You’re not married, are you?”

“No, Miss. It’s just me and…It’s just me. Why do you ask?”

Lena stared at the ceiling, her eyes fixated on a water stain from what must have been an old leak in the roof.

“It seems like a dreadful business. You seem too happy to be married.”

Sam shook her head, hiding a small smile.

“Goodnight, Lena.”

Sam shut the door behind her. Lena smiled, noticing with a small amount of pleasure that Sam had neglected to use her formal title of “Miss”.

*

The next day was mostly quiet. Lionel spent the day preparing for his trip to Harrisburg. Lena avoided Lillian by hiding in her room and reading a book on Russian history. Lex would occasionally pop in to her room to give her the latest details about the robbery investigation.

“They dragged all of the staff working at the hall that night in for questioning,” he said with glee. “Can you imagine?”

“How do you know all of this? Are you a police officer now?”

Lex shrugged.

“I know a few gents in the ranks.”

“Lex, we’ve only been here a week. Explain to me how you suddenly know half the people in this city.”

“One of us had to be the social butterfly, dear one. And anyhow, if I plan to get into politics I have to start networking now. It’s all about who you know. I could take your method, and sit around hiding in my room all day, but somehow I don’t think that would be effective.”

Lena glared at him over the top of her book.

“Good thing for me that I lack the body parts required to be allowed to engage in politics.”

“Oh, don’t start on that soap box again. Look. All I’m saying is that Mother might ease off you a little if you at least showed some interest in forming social connections. Don’t you get bored just…reading all day?”

“Not at all.”

Lex groaned.

“Alright, stubborn girl. I’ll make you a deal. Tonight I’m meeting with the Mayor’s son for a drink. It’s a respectable place, nowhere you could get yourself into trouble. Though I’m sure you’ll try. Come with me, and I’ll buy you a new book. Hell, I’ll buy you a dozen books if it gets you out of the house.”

Lena crinkled her nose, not really in the mood to have to dress up.

“I don’t know, Lex.”

“Lena,” he said insistently. “You need this. Meet me downstairs in an hour, I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“Lex, I…”

“One hour, Lena!” he insisted as he exited her room.

Lena sighed heavily, sulked for a moment, and then got up to pick out an outfit.

*

At the club Lex had taken her to, Lena stared down a glass of pungent smelling, brown liquid with a wary look.

“I don’t think this kind of thing is for me.”

“Nonsense,” the Mayor’s son, an arrogant man named Michael, replied, leaning in close to Lena, his breath already reeking of alcohol. “Drinking whiskey brewed from our local farmer’s grain is the most patriotic thing a young girl like yourself could do. The taxes put on that liquor in your hand is helping rebuild our nation. Don’t you love your country?”

Lex hid his laugh behind his glass, which he then drained.

“Don’t mind Michael. He’s an absolute ass. But you should take that drink anyway, Lena. It’ll do you good to loosen up a bit.”

Lena frowned, but eventually gave in, parting her lips and letting the foreign substance slide down her throat. In a moment, she was doubled over, coughing as it burned through her throat and sinuses. Lex and Michael belly laughed at her discomfort.

“I like your sister, Alexander. She’s fun.”

“Oh, you only think that because you don’t know her as well as I do.”

“Haha,” Lena replied sarcastically.

She attempted another sip of her drink, and this time was able to keep from coughing, though she still thought it dreadful. She felt a familiar tingling set in, like what she had felt when she had been drinking champagne with Kara. She wasn’t sure if she liked the way alcohol made her feel.

“So is this what you all do for fun? Get drunk and poke fun at one another?”

“Basically, yes. Most of the men in this room are hardened war heroes, and the drink is the only thing they have to keep the nightmares at bay.”

“And are you one of those heroes?” Lena asked.

“Me? No. I have bad ankles, dear. Can’t stand to march. It’s a shame, really. But nothing could be done about it.”

Lena could tell from his tone that he felt a misplaced pride in his ability to have escaped serving in the war. She knew about men like him who had used their privilege to escape the war. She also knew good hardworking men from back home who were fervent to fight for what they believed in, and who never got to see home again because of that belief. Lena tried to hide the scowl growing on her face by taking another sip of her drink.

“What about you, Alexander, hmm?” Michael continued, “You put your time in for the good old north?”

Lex seemed to shrink back in his seat.

“I wasn’t old enough.”

Lena knew well the shame Lex felt, the wish he had to fight. He had even been caught trying to sneak into the service by lying about his age and making up a fake name.

“Ah, well. Next time then, eh?” Michael said with a laugh.

Lena drained the contents of her glass, and it was quickly refilled by their smug companion, his smile filled with bad intentions.

“Anyhow,” Lex said, eager to change the topic. “So strange about the First Lady, hmm? From what I’ve heard, the woman she was talking to recalls that she literally saw the jewels disappear right before her eyes. One minute they were there, and then they vanished. Like magic.”

“Hah,” Michael said condescendingly. “Magic. As if there were such a thing. A servant probably just slipped it off of her in passing. You shouldn’t think on it so much.”

She distanced herself mentally from the conversation after that, looking around casually at the other patrons in the club. For the most part it was all the same scene as the one before her: clusters of people chatting aimlessly and getting drunk. Then, two tables over, a conversation caught her attention.

“My charity has its limits, Mister Lord. And you are pushing well past those limits.”

“You’ll have your money soon. I promise.”

“Because your promises have always been something to rely on, is that it? Have you forgotten what I’m capable of?”

The man’s voice trembled when he spoke.

“No, Astra of course I haven’t…but…”

 _Astra._ Lena recognized that name. It was the name Sam used when she spoke of that tavern they had met Kara in. Trying to be subtle, Lena turned her head so that she could see the speakers more clearly. The man called Lord was sitting hunched over his drink, refusing to meet the woman called Astra in the eyes. And for good reason. She seemed to radiate intimidation and power, from her long brown wavy hair that had a single lock of white hair mingled into it, to her long fingernails that rapped agitatedly on the table they sat at. Her eyes seemed to bore into the man across from her, willing him to do as she wished.

“You have one week,” she finally said. “After that, gods help you.”

With that, the woman got up, her unusually narrow purple skirt flowing behind her as she exited the club.

“Lex,” Lena whispered to her brother, “Do you mind if I step out a moment? I need some air.”

“Too much whiskey already? God, girl. Alright. But be mindful you don’t wander off.”

Lena nodded in agreement, and got up, heading swiftly towards the same exit Astra had just used.

Before she could even get out the doors, someone firmly grasped her by the forearm and dragged her into a side hallway.

“You have a bad habit of following people around.”

Lena gasped when she realized who it was that had grabbed her.

“Kara!” she exclaimed.

“Hello Lena. How are you doing after the excitement of the other night?”

“Oh, what excitement are your referring to? The part where you stole the First Lady’s jewelry?”

Kara’s face fell for a moment.

“You know that wasn’t me.”

“Of course it was!”

“Lena!” Kara said with a laugh, clasping Lena’s hands for emphasis, “I was dancing with _you_ when it happened. How could I be in two places at once?”

Lena frowned.

“Well I know you had something to do with it,” she said.

Kara’s eyes darkened for a split second.

“And did you repeat that theory to anyone?”

Lena thought of Sam for a moment.

“I…no.”

Kara nodded.

“Good. It’s best you keep it that way. Now, if you would excuse me, I have things to do.”

“Kara, wait!”

Kara was fidgeting nervously, eager to leave.

“What?”

“Well, what’s to keep me from turning you in anyway?”

Kara tilted her head, considering Lena.

“Are you…are you trying to threaten me?”

“I…well, threaten is a harsh word…” Lena faltered.

Kara began laughing.

“You are just too much, Miss Luthor. Look, you’re not going to turn me in, because you don’t have it in you, and because you’re curious. Aren’t you? You know there’s more going on than meets the eye, and you’re dying to find answers.”

Lena chose to stay silent.

“That’s what I thought. Now,” Kara stepped in closer to Lena. “Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to walk back to your table and ask to be excused for the night. Your brother there is going to let you go because he’s having too much fun getting drunk with the Mayor’s son to worry about you traveling without a chaperone. And then you are going to come with me. Not because you think it’s a good idea, or because you think it’s safe…” she leaned in close, her mouth hovering over Lena’s ear. “But because you want to.”

Lena wasn’t able to control the shiver that ran down her spine.

“Off you go,” Kara whispered, and after only a moment’s hesitation, Lena was turning around to walk back to her table.

“Lex, I feel ill. I’m just going to head home. Is that okay?”

“Hmm?” Lex replied, his eyes slightly red and lazily half shut. “Oh. Sure. Just be…” he hiccupped, “be careful.”

Lena nodded, and silently exited to club. Kara was waiting for her outside the door, the lamplight above her illuminating her blonde hair but casting shadows on her face.

“Just so you know,” Kara said, staring down intently at her fingernails, “that started out as a ruse to get you away from me so I could escape.”

“So then why are you still here?” Lena asked. She noticed that it seemed like Kara’s eyes seem to shine even in the dark.

Kara shrugged, a small smile on her face.

“Maybe I’m as curious about you as you are about me.”

Lena was entirely aware of the fact that all of this could be a ruse; another trick tucked up Kara’s sleeve like a hidden card. But then she slipped her hand into Lena’s their fingers entwining as she led her away to an unknown fate, and Lena didn’t seem to care one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk I felt like more happened in this chapter until I edited and was like "nothing happened..." BUT i introduced characters and junk so...yeah.  
> Next chap is gonna be all Lena/Kara, so just HANG IN THERE.  
> Also I feel the need to say that I know Kara is OOC rn, I know, but I have a plan. You gotta trust me.   
> For progress updates, follow the 1865 tag on my tumblr (url: schatzietess)  
> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are my fuel and make me a very happy writer :))))  
> Love ya! <333 -Tess


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lena is a lightweight and has a verrrryyy bad night

With the promise of secrets being revealed that Kara had offered, Lena couldn’t help but feel let down by finding herself inside the tavern that, thought had once seen mesmerizing, now felt lackluster and far too ordinary.

The woman named Astra was nowhere to be seen since their departure from the club, and Lena somehow felt as if Kara had brought them back here as a means of hiding whatever Astra was up to.

“In case you hadn’t noticed,” Lena said to her new companion as she sat perched on a stool in front of the wraparound counter in the tavern, her likeness in the large mirror behind her only obstructed by the many different bottles of spirits in front of it, “I was already drinking in a bar. How is this any different?”

Kara smiled sweetly, and from her seat next to Lena, she reached behind the bar to help herself to a bottle of whiskey hidden beneath the counter, as well as a couple of glasses.

“Hey,” the bartender, a young man with a square-ish jaw and light stubble on his face, scolded. “Kara, can you please ask when you want something instead of just taking it?”

“Sorry, Winn,” she replied, pouring two drinks and replacing the bottle, “didn’t want to bother you. Now, to answer your question, Miss Luthor, your curiosity will simply have to wait. I need a drink.”

“They had drinks where we were,” Lena remarked stubbornly.

“Mm,” Kara replied while taking a large swig from her glass, “but I would have had to pay for those. And since these are free, I expect you to keep up a little better than that.”

Lena grimaced at the glass in her hand.

“I’m not really fond of the stuff. It burns.”

“Oh, well, why didn’t you say so?”

Kara took Lena’s drink, poured its contents into her own glass, and then reached behind the bar again, producing a dark brown glass bottle, opened it, and poured its amber contents into a tall glass.

“They drink much beer where you’re from, Miss Luthor?”

“The farmers, yes,” Lena said, taking the glass from Kara. “Though my family always considered themselves too moral to drink.”

“Not your brother, though.”

Lena shrugged and sipped at her drink, not finding it that pleasant tasting, either, but it at least didn’t burn like the whiskey had.

“He’s always enjoyed worldly pleasures more than our parents realize.”

“And what about you?” Kara asked, her hand placed gently on Lena’s knee. “Are you as appreciative of…what was it you called it? _Worldly_ pleasures?”

Lena felt her throat go dry and her cheeks flush red. Unsure of what to do with herself, she chose to pull away from Kara and take a very long drink from her glass. Kara smiled, seemingly pleased with herself.

“Winn?” she called, though her eyes remained locked on Lena’s. He appeared in front of them from his post behind the counter. “It’s a bit too loud in here. Mind if we go sit somewhere less crowded?”

Winn blinked in surprise, looking between Kara and Lena several times.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

Kara seemed irritated by his question.

“Yes, Winn. Now if you don’t mind.”

He nodded silently, and Kara, taking Lena by the hand, guided her behind the bar, squeezing past Winn in the process, to a door on its far side Lena had not previously noticed. Careful not to spill the drink in her hand, Lena let Kara lead the way, hoping somehow that their slipping away from the general din of the tavern would somehow bring her closer to the answers she sought.

On the other side of the door was practically a mirror image of the previous scene; a bar just like the one they had been in, only set up in reverse on the opposite side of the wall. It really wasn’t much less crowded than the first tavern; the revelry and music remained the same. Lena stared at the duplicate tavern, mouth parted.

“What’s the point of this?” she asked bluntly.

Kara shrugged.

“Honestly, most things Astra does is for dramatic effect.”

“And who exactly is Astra?”

Kara smiled.

“A friend to those who have none.”

Kara moved to sit at nearly the same spot in the bar, only, of course, in reverse. Lena tentatively moved to sit next to her. She couldn’t help but notice that the drinks on this wall of the bar had more variety in color and presentation. Some came in bizarre shaped bottles. Some seemed to practically glow in shades of pink, blue, and green. Some were muddy looking. Some seemed to have foreign particles floating in them that looked anything but appetizing. And in the case of one of the supposed drinks being displayed, it was contained in what looked like some sort of mummified animal head.

Lena said nothing of this, taking a sip of her thankfully ordinary beer. Between the whisky with her brother and her nearly drained glass now, Lena was feeling that familiar fuzzy sensation in her head, and she didn’t know if she was keen on it or not. She needed to focus, she needed to make sure Kara held up her end of her promise, and that she would tell her what she wanted to know. But as she emptied her glass, she couldn’t really remember why she was so concerned in the first place.

_No, Lena. Focus,_ she thought.

Kara, nearly imperceptibly, winked to the bartender on this side of the tavern, a woman not much older than Lena and Kara, but with a face that seemed worn with struggle and worry. The woman, without needing further instruction, replaced Lena’s drink.

“You want something harder than that?” she asked Kara.

“Not now, M’gann. But thank you.”

M’gann nodded, and refilled her drink.

“Whiskey somehow not enough for you?” Lena asked.

“I have a…high tolerance,” Kara said, failing to hide some unexplained smugness. “So. How are you adjusting to life in the city? I hope you’re keeping yourself busy with activities other than hanging around one of Philadelphia’s least reputable taverns.”

Lena took a frustrated sip from her drink, irritated with how Kara seemed to be dangling what Lena wanted in front of her face, only to rip it away at the last second.

“It’s a bit boring, actually,” Lena said, trying to play along. “I don’t have school to attend anymore, so it’s hard to find a way to socialize without that.”

“You ever think about university?”

Lena scoffed.

“What are you from another planet?”

Kara seemed to twitch involuntarily at Lena’s reply, her drink quaking in her hand.

“I’m a woman. I’m not going to school, because I’m not pursuing a career. The only thing I’m supposed to be pursuing is a husband with the most money possible.”

Kara rolled her eyes.

“Of course. How silly of me to forget. You are an unwed woman. Which makes it even worse for you to be here with me, don’t you think? Should anyone see you…”

Lena shrugged.

“It’s not like I’m here with a man.”

Kara’s face lost its warm glow, and she looked away from Lena for a second, polishing off her drink and placing the empty glass at the edge of the counter. It was swiftly refilled by M’Gann.

“Right you are,” Kara said, her voice devoid of any emotion.

Lena couldn’t shake her impatience.

“Look, I have to ask. How did you steal the First Lady’s jewels?”

“I told you I didn’t.”

“Right, right, you didn’t. But you know who did? Is it someone in here? Was it Astra?”

Kara pursed her lips.

“Please. Astra would never get her hands dirty. She has us for that.”

“And who is ‘us’?” Lena asked. She found that she was able to drink this beer a lot faster and more easily than the last one.

Kara narrowed her eyes at Lena, leaning in closer to her. Lena could smell the whiskey on Kara’s breath, but she showed no signs of it disturbing her clarity of mind. Lena, on the other hand, had noticed now that they were closer together that she had been swaying slightly, resulting in her nearly bumping her nose against Kara’s once or twice as she felt locked in her stare.

“Who do you think we are? Come now, Miss Luthor, I’m sure you have a theory.”

Lena thought on all that had transpired since she met Kara. First, there was Kara’s way of knowing who would win what hands in the game of cards, as if she had some unfair control over it. Then there was the way she had used her quickness of hand to trick Lena out of a few dollars, and then the subsequent disappearance of the rest. After that, there was the theft at the ball. And finally, the threat Astra had made to Mr. Lord over a debt he seemed to owe.

“Some sort of collaboration of thieves and con artists, perhaps? And Astra leads you in some fashion?”

Kara smiled innocently behind her glass.

“Is that all?”

Lena furrowed her brow, confused.

“You know what I enjoy about you, Lena,” Kara said, leaning in closer still. Lena instantly felt warmer, as if Kara were a bright summer sun glowing onto her skin. “It’s the fact that you seem to be more perceptive than most humans I’ve met, and yet you can be completely blind to your surroundings at the same time.”

Lena could feel in her gut that somehow Kara’s words were important and that she ought to listen harder, but all she could seem to focus on was the way Kara’s lips pursed, rolled, and smacked together when she spoke. They looked so full and soft. The fuzziness in Lena’s head was getting stronger.

“For example,” Kara said, voice barely a whisper. “We’ve been in this particular room for several minutes now, and you’ve yet to notice that there is something very different about its patrons.”

Kara’s eyes looked out towards the rest of the secret tavern. The second they broke away from Lena’s, she felt as if she was being pulled out of hypnosis. She turned her head to see what Kara meant.

For a second, Lena didn’t understand. Everyone looked normal: the woman drank and danced in sweeping, colorful gowns, the men accompanied them in tall hats and black suits. Then she blinked, forced her eyes to focus harder, and felt her stomach drop.

The more she looked, the more she realized that the revelers were not all they appeared. A woman five paces from them had deep red skin. Not simply flushed or somehow sunburnt, but every inch of her was a bright cherry red. She had two companions. One wore a more form fitting suit than what she was used to seeing. Normal enough at first to glance at. Then as Lena looked closer, she saw he had third eye on his forehead and, as he belly laughed at something that was said by one of his companions, a second set of teeth was revealed behind his first set. The other companion, who wore a simple brown dress, had bluish-green skin fish-like scales and eyes that were black as the night sky.

Lena watched the dancers, their non-humanness seeming to become apparent all at once. Some of them had hooves claws instead of feet and hands, some had what antennas like that of insects protruding from hats and hairlines. Some clicked and jabbered in languages unlike anything Lena had ever heard. Some had features Lena didn’t even have the words to describe.

The stool beneath Lena was suddenly not enough to support her. She wobbled, feeling faint, and managed to catch herself before falling to the floor. She staggered into a standing position, was vaguely aware of Kara grasping her waist to steady her, and shook her off quickly. She rushed behind the bar, pushing open the door they had come from, willing herself to keep herself from hysterics long enough to get out of that tavern. The door slammed into Winn on the other side, who swore in surprise. Making a brief apology to him, Lena rushed out from that side of the bar, colliding into several, thankfully human looking people on this dance floor as she fled, threw the front doors open, and stumbled out into the street.

She took a gasping breath, letting the cold early winter air fill her lungs and shock her to back to reality. She was back in the real world, and thankful for it. It felt late in the evening. What time had it been when she left Lex?

Lena felt frozen in place, her brain overloaded with too much new information at once. Perhaps that was why she didn’t see the carriage barreling towards her, didn’t hear the driver yelling for her to move out of the way. By the time she was aware of it, it was too late for her to move. She closed her eyes, bracing for the impending crash.

She felt a rush of air. She was suddenly very cold. She kept her eyes shut.

In a few moments, realizing that she should have been struck by now, Lena opened her eyes, and she screamed involuntarily as she discovered that she was hovering at least thirty feet above the ground.

“Stop squirming or I will drop you,” a familiar voice scolded. She whipped her head around to see who was holding her.

Kara spit out a lock of Lena’s hair that had gotten flung into her mouth when Lena rapidly turned her head.

“Please calm down, woman, good gods.”

“ _We are flying, I cannot calm down,_ _Kara_!” Lena squealed.

Kara placed a dramatic hand over her ear, wincing.

“A little less screeching, please. You’re welcome, by the way.”

“For _what_?” Lena replied, trying not to yell so loud this time, though she was still petrified by the fact that they were _flying_.

“For saving you from being run over by that cart! You bolted out of Astra’s so fast I could barely catch up to you. And that’s saying something. Now, your home is east of here, correct?”

Lena was barely able to manage a petrified whine in response as she stared down at the very vast space between herself and the ground.

“So helpful, you are. Now hold on.”

Kara began to fly them, yes, fly, if Lena could believe it, towards her home. And she flew with surprising speed. She had barely even managed to squeal “put me _down_ ” before Kara touched them both down in front of Lena’s front door.

“If you have any further questions,” Kara said with a satisfied grin, “you know where to find me. Have a good evening, Miss Luthor.”

And just like that, Kara had somehow disappeared. Lena collapsed onto the sidewalk, shaking from nerves and from the cold, trying not to get sick all over the sidewalk. Somehow she knew that she couldn’t just walk into her house as if nothing was wrong. Something was most certainly wrong.

Without even stopping to consider her decision, Lena took off across the street. She remembered Sam telling her that if ever there was an emergency, she lived only two blocks down, in the house with the red door. She ran and ran, the distance feeling impossibly longer than it actually was. Hoping she was on the right street, Lena looked desperately for a red door, but she couldn’t make herself focus. She resorted to simply calling out Sam’s name as loud as she could manage.

In a few moments, a red door ten paces away from her swung open, Sam’s head poking out.

“Miss Lena?” she asked, dumbfounded. “What are you carrying on about? You’re going to wake the whole city!”

She seemed to see Lena’s distress, and instantly softened.

“Oh my dear, what’s happened? Come on, come in before you freeze.”

*

A hot cup of tea and a moment in front of Sam’s fireplace later, Lena managed to stop shaking. As her nerves calmed, she started to finally take notice of her surroundings. Sam’s place was small; the first floor of a three floor apartment house. Despite still being early in December, she had garland and festive red and green candles all about the place, making it feel comforting and cozy.

“Now. What on Earth has happened? Did one of Master Alexander’s new friends do something to you? I swear I will kill the brute myself.”

“No…no,” Lena insisted. “Sam…I…I went back to that place. Astra’s.”

Sam stiffened, but said nothing.

“I didn’t plan to, Sam, I promise. But I ran into Kara, and she promised me answers, about the robbery, about everything. But then. Oh, God, Sam. There were… _monsters_.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean actual monsters, Sam! Monsters! Three eyed, scaly skinned, monsters! Like you read about in fairy tales! Monsters! And Kara…she’s…well…I don’t know what she is. A faerie of some kind, maybe? A nymph? I don’t know. But they’re not _human_. Any of them. And then…and then we were _flying_ , Sam. Flying! Like birds! Like bird _people_! And…and those monsters stole the First Lady’s jewels! I don’t know why. Maybe they eat precious gems. What do fairies eat? Is it rubies?”

Sam had had the sense to remain silent as Lena absolutely ranted, but she couldn’t hide the way her eyes bulged at Lena, looking at her like she was insane.

“I’m not making this up, Sam!”

“No, no, I didn’t say that…” Sam said, leaning in closer to Lena to place a placating hand on her arm. “But…Lena. I mean, what in God’s name are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the monster people, Sam. And their glowing liquor. And their secret doors. Do you understand?”

Sam suddenly jerked back.

“Lena, you reek of alcohol.” She sighed. “Hopefully that’s the least of the mind altering substances you’ve ingested this evening. Come on. I’ll help you home.”

“You don’t believe me?”

Sam was already grabbing their coats.

“I believe you’re young and don’t know your limits, and that girl Kara exploited that.”

Lena was perplexed as to why Sam didn’t understand the gravity of what she was saying. And aside from that, she was mildly startled by the fact that at some point the room had started spinning.

“But Sam, I saw them! The monsters! They’re in this city, don’t you understand? They’re _among_ _us_.”

There was a shuffling from the next room. Rubbing her eyes, a sleepy six or seven year old girl, much to Sam’s likeness, emerged in the kitchen, holding tightly to a well-loved stuffed bear.

“Mommy?” the girl asked. “Are there really monsters?”

Sam stood still for a moment, eyes darting from Lena to the child and back to Lena.

“Of course not, Ruby. Now back to bed, sweetheart. I’ll be in in a minute to read you a story, okay?”

The girl nodded, and walked drowsily back to her room.

“Come along, now,” she said to Lena, voice more careful than it had been before.

Lena realized she had made a mistake barging into Sam’s home. She suddenly felt like weeping.

“Sam…I’m sorry…I didn’t…”

“It’s fine. Let’s just get you home.”

They walked in silence back to Lena’s home, Lena barely keeping up with Sam’s brisk pace as she kept a firm grip on her charge’s arm.

“I’m not lying to you, Sam. I saw monsters in that tavern.”

“Lena, listen to me,” she replied sternly, stopping at Lena’s front steps. “You sound insane right now. You have to realize that. It’s been a long night, you’ve had too much to drink. I pray you’ll simply forget about the whole thing in the morning. Because if you keep carrying on like this about monsters and faeires in the middle of the night while in your inebriated state, well, you’re lucky you weren’t discovered by a policeman and locked in the mental hospital.”

And in that moment, Lena realized with shocking clarity that Kara had been playing out a game against Lena all along. She had indeed planned on telling her the truth, but by doing so in such a merciless and abrupt way, she had intended to scare Lena away from her curiosity for good. And if that didn’t work, well, the full truth was so impossible that no one would ever believe her, and would sooner declare her insane than investigate the story further.

Lena felt suddenly, painfully, sober.

“You’re right, Sam. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for…for all of it.”

Sam pursed her lips.

“It’s alright. We’ll talk more in the morning. But for now…just get some sleep.”

Lena nodded silently, and let herself into her home. Seeing that the house was dark and quiet, Lena thought thankfully that Lillian must have been asleep already when Lex got home, and that he probably never even thought to check and make sure she had made it home safely.

Tiptoeing clumsily towards her room, she checked Lex’s room and saw that he was, in fact, passed out unceremoniously on his bed, still in his suit.

Lena, at least, forced herself to take the time to change into her nightdress, though it ended up being a more difficult task than she anticipated, considering her current inability to stand straight. As she crawled into bed, her mind swirling around all the new impossible things she had to accept about the world she lived in, she silently cursed the day she ever met Kara Danvers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone might have suspected this, no, no one gave Lena any alien drugs or something. She just super cannot handle her liquor. And yes, i know, Kara is a little shit. But there's a REASON just give me time to DRAMATICALLY EXPLAIN IT.   
> Lemme know if you guys are into the story so far, i thrive on your comments and input :)  
> For updates (and by updates i mean me yelling in my own tags about the foibles of my writing process), follow the 1865 tag on my tumblr (url schatzietess)  
> Thanks for reading!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHRISTMAS CHAPTER!!!

It was a few days before Christmas. The first snow had fallen in heavy blankets the night before, and continued to fall, light and steady, into the next day. This forced Lena to look down at her feet, careful not to slip and fall, as she walked closely behind Lillian while accompanying her for some last minute shopping. It would be a lie to say that Lena’s mind was occupied on anything other than the mud stained snow she tiptoed around as she walked. She had kept her wandering thoughts to a minimum since the last time she saw Kara at the tavern.

She wasn’t curious to go back to that place. She didn’t have any more questions to ask or any more answers she felt entitled to. After that night, she had been so thoroughly shocked, she felt so humiliated and tricked, that she simply didn’t care to know anymore. Whatever had happened that night, whoever Kara and the company she kept was, that was their business. Sam was right.

It was best for Lena to just stay away.

Lillian cleared her throat agitatedly, and Lena realized that she had been so focused on the ground that she had missed her mother turning to enter a store, and almost had walked off alone. Lex, who had been behind her, grasped her elbow reassuringly, leading her inside.

“Head still in the clouds, huh, Little Lena?”

Lena forced a smile.

“Not at all.”

“Well, something has been up with you lately,” he said, stepping into the store and turning towards a display of hats, picking out a particularly gaudy one to try on in the mirror next to them.

“Excuse you,” Lena retorted, “I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Exactly,” he said, grimacing at his selection and moving on to overcoats. “That’s what’s suspicious. The house has been far too quiet lately. Now. What’s troubling you?”

Lena looked at her brother via his reflection in the mirror as he tried on a coat.

“Nothing! I just, I miss home, I guess. Everything was simpler there.”

“Oh, nonsense. You were bored senseless back home. We all were. Yes…it’s very different here than home. But different doesn’t necessarily mean bad. You’ll adjust, eventually. Make friends of your own. And until you do, you have your big brother around to look after you.”

Lena rolled her eyes at Lex.

“The last time you looked after me you let me wander off alone in the middle of the night while you got drunk with the Mayor’s son.”

“Ugh, you’re still upset about that?” he replied casually, giving the coat another look over. “I think I’ll buy this one.”

“Lex, you do realize you’re supposed to buy things for other people on Christmas, and not buy things for yourself?”

“Fine then,” he said, dumping the coat into her arms, “You buy it for me. Thanks, love.”

By the time Lillian had finished her shopping for the day, the three of them were frozen. After sending her purchases home via an attendant, she led the way to a café nearby to warm up with some coffee and sandwiches. They sat by a large fireplace, and after a moment of silence spent thawing out toes and fingers, Lillian rested back in her seat.

“Lena,” she said, “the Mayor’s wife is hosting a luncheon the day after Christmas. I would like it if you would accompany me.”

Lena’s eyes widened, shocked that her adoptive mother would actually want her to go anywhere with her if Lionel didn’t require her to. Of course, for all Lena knew, he could have already asked Lillian to take her.

“If you wish me to go, then I shall,” Lena said calculatedly.

Lillian contained a smile. Despite their differences, the girl and her mother had a very keen understanding of one another, and there were times Lillian seemed to almost enjoy the way Lena challenged her as if it were a sport.

“Actually, I do. You’ve been behaved enough lately that I’m starting to think I can trust you to be a half decent reflection upon the family. And besides, there are some people I would like you to meet.”

If she hadn’t known Lillian her whole life, Lena wouldn’t have seen her words as a compliment. But she did, and so she did realize that this was a compliment, in its own way.

“I look forward to it,” Lena replied.

Lillian nodded, and sipped at her coffee.

Lena sat contently by the fire. Around them, friends and family chatted and laughed amicably, enjoying the holiday spirit that filled them. It was infectious.

And then she looked across the café, and saw a familiar face staring back at her intently, and her cheer was gone.

The woman she had run into several weeks ago, the brunette who had intercepted her in her pursuit of Kara after the robbery at the ball, looked at her, gesturing with a nod of her head to come and approach her. Lena frowned, feeling dread and anxiety swirl around in her stomach like an illness.

Perhaps it sounded foolish, but up until this moment Lena was almost able to convince herself that none of the strangeness of the past couple of months had ever happened. It felt foolish and childish at first, to simply pretend it hadn’t happened. To pretend that she had never met a strange, bright eyed blonde who made her flustered and frustrated and nervous all at the same time. To pretend that she hadn’t gotten wrapped up in the middle of something frightening and utterly impossible. Because that’s what all of it had become at the end of that night: impossible. And impossible was easy for Lena to deny and push away. Even if it bothered her that by doing so, she was probably doing exactly was Kara wanted her to do.

Lena considered simply ignoring the woman. But her gaze remained determined and unmoved. Lena sighed.

It was fun while it lasted. Having a normal life.

She excused herself from the table, weaved through the large lunch crowd in the café, and sat herself down across from the brunette.

“There’s no need to threaten me again, Miss…”

“Alex,” the woman replied. “Alex Danvers.”

Lena looked Alex full on, surprised, recognizing the last name.

“Oh. So you’re-”

“Kara’s sister.”

Lena thought for a moment.

“Then do you, you know, can you do those things that she-”

Alex waved her hand as a way to dismiss Lena’s question.

“No. No. I can’t do any of the things she can do. She’s my adopted sister.”

“I see.” Lena kept the surge or insistent follow up questions to herself, though it was difficult. “Well. I haven’t told anyone about Kara. Or…any of it. I don’t care to be any further involved. I’m done. So please, spare me whatever speech you have to give.”

Alex frowned.

“That’s not why I’m here. I’m actually here to apologize to you.”

“What do you have to apologize for?”

“Me? Nothing. But Kara seems to have quite a lot to apologize for.”

Lena kept her facial expression neutral, willing herself not to reveal her thoughts.

“I don’t disagree with you,” she said. “But I also don’t care if she’s sorry or not. It doesn’t change anything. Like I said, I’m done.”

Alex narrowed her eyes at Lena.

“Oh she’s not sorry for anything. Not enough to come and talk to you herself, at least. But aside from that, I don’t believe you.”

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t believe that anyone as curious as you could see a room full of non-humans with absolutely no explanation as to who or what they are, find out someone you thought was an ordinary girl can fly like a bird, and after all that, _that’s_ when you stop asking questions and digging for information.”

Lena sighed.

“Kara wanted to scare me, isn’t that right, Alex? Well, it worked. It scared me. So why can’t you just leave me be?”

 “Because I’m losing her and I need your help,” Alex blurted out with a sudden, loud urgency. She then bit and one of her fingernails anxiously, scanning the room.

“If I’m going to explain any of this to you I’m going to have to explain it all to you, aren’t I?” Alex said.

Lena shrugged.

“I would be willing to accept that I was simply given something at that bar to make me hallucinate the whole thing. I’ve heard absinthe can make you see some strange things. Lord knows there were some curious looking substances there.”

Alex shook her head.

“Kara wouldn’t do that to you.” She paused. “Those people you saw. And Kara, too. They’re…they’re not from here. From this planet, I mean.”

Lena rested her chin in her palm, thinking. Not quite faeries, then. She was mildly disappointed that her theory was incorrect. It would have made Shakespeare that much more enjoyable to her.

Still, Lena supposed it made sense. Mankind had always looked up to the stars. Was it so irrational to believe that someone else out there could have been looking back all along?

“My parents met Kara years ago, when she was much younger. At the time, Astra was taking care of her, if you could call what she did to her ‘caring’ for her.”

“Who is Astra?” Lena asked insistently.

“Kara’s biological Aunt. They’re from the same world. And their world was destroyed somehow, so they’re stuck here. Kara was so young then, so innocent and fragile. And Astra was angry at the loss of her home and cruel to anyone and everyone she could lash out at. Especially Kara. So Kara came to live with us. And we loved her like family. She _is_ my family. But then…everything fell apart. The war came, and we lost our father to it.”

A darkness clouded over Alex’s expression for a moment. Lena wanted to find some way to console her, but she lacked the words that would suffice.

“Anyway,” Alex said, taking a sip of the drink in front of her. “We struggled to get by after that. My mother and I did everything we could to stay afloat, but it wasn’t enough. Our debts kept mounting, we were going to lose everything. And meanwhile, Astra had been building an empire off the backs of those extraordinary people you caught a glimpse of weeks ago, using _their_ abilities to cheat her way into wealth and power, while the rest of the country fell apart. At our family’s darkest hour, she appeared at our doorstep, offering to take care of everything we would ever need, so long as Kara would come back to her again and work for her little organization.”

Alex looked around again, as if waiting to be caught by someone.

“We refused,” she finally continued. “We told Kara she was too good and kind to be sucked back into all of that again. But she didn’t listen. She was trying to help us. And at first she thought she could do both: be the Kara we knew and re-expose herself to Astra’s venom. But even _she_ isn’t impenetrable. Kara’s been under her wing for too long. Astra’s been dripping her poisonous words into her ears for too long. The girl you met, that isn’t the Kara I know. It’s someone different. Someone careless and selfish and bitter. And I need my sister back.”

Alex let out a shuddering breath, blinking away the tears that had been threatening to spill from her eyes.

“I don’t know how you expect me to be of any help to you,” Lena replied softly.

 “I don’t know, either, quite frankly. But I know Kara. And you affect her somehow. I won’t try to figure it out, it’s none of my business. But it seems to get to her when you disapprove of what she does. She doesn’t _tell_ me any of this, per se, but I’ve noticed it nonetheless in how she acts around you.”

Lena raised an eyebrow at Alex, curious as to how she seemed to know so much about their interactions together. Alex seemed to shrink back in her seat, realizing she had perhaps crossed a line.

“Someone has to keep an eye on the little rascal,” she explained.

“So when I ran into you after the ball…”

“I know she was probably involved in what happened with the First Lady, I don’t want to know how. And I know it’s not right, what she’s doing, but it’s still my job to protect her.”

“Seems like that would be a full time job.”

Alex smiled, her shoulders relaxing, happy to see that Lena might just understand her struggle. Lena felt her heart sink as she pondered Alex’s request.

“Look, I know you think I can help, but I don’t know if I can. She’s just so…”

“I know. Believe me, I know. Just think on it, will you? I have a hunch that your interest in her is more than just investigative curiosity. If you could see how extraordinary a person she is, trust me, you would see why I want so much to bring her back.”

Lena heard her name being called, and turned around to see Lex walking towards her, eyeing up her companion curiously.

“Shoot, I’ve been over here a while, haven’t I? Look, I have to go.”

Alex nodded in understanding.

“I’ll be in touch. Happy Holidays.”

Lena attempted a smile, and rose to meet her brother.

“You know,” he said when they had reunited, “when I said to make friends, I didn’t mean to go and strike up a conversation with the first person you run into.”

“Well then you’ll have to be more specific next time, brother,” Lena replied dryly.

*

That evening, Lena found herself at Sam’s home, stirring cider over the stove with a cinnamon stick as Ruby and her mother decorated the Christmas tree.

Lena poured the cider into mugs, arranged them on a tray with some gingerbread cookies fresh out of the oven, and brought the tray over to her companions.

“Now be careful, Rube, it’s hot,” Lena insisted as the young girl grabbed greedily for one of the mugs.

The warning only slightly inhibited her, and in a moment Ruby yelped aloud, sticking her now burnt tongue out of her mouth.

“I told you,” Lena said, trying to hold back a laugh.

“This one has absolutely no patience,” Sam said as she searched for the perfect spot on the tree for a clay Santa ornament Lena guessed that Ruby had made. “You should see how she’s been hunting for her Christmas presents while I’m away from home.”

“Well maybe I can help with that, huh?” Lena said, and knelt down in front of Ruby. “Now listen, little one. If you promise to wait until Christmas to open the presents your mom got you, I’ll let you open a little something that I got you tonight. Deal?”

Ruby’s eyes widened with excitement, and she looked to her mother for permission. Sam seemed slightly irritated by Lena’s offer, but she gave a silent nod of approval. Winking, Lena stood again, and moved to grab the box she had left at the door.

“You didn’t have to do this,” Sam said as Lena placed the box on the kitchen table.

“Nonsense, it’s the least I could do after keeping you away from your daughter all those nights at the house.”

“You didn’t know.”

“Well now I do,” Lena said with a smile.

They watched as Ruby tore into the wrapping paper, Lena moving to stand closer to Sam so the young girl wouldn’t overhear them.

“And I still don’t see why you have to keep her a secret from my family,” she said.

“You know why,” Sam replied, eyes on her daughter instead of Lena. “It’s because I’m unmarried, and I have no idea where her father is.”

“Wow!” Ruby exclaimed as she opened the box. “It’s amazing! I love it! …What is it?”

Lena moved to help the girl take her gift out of the box, connecting the long glass tube to the legs it was to stand on.

“It’s a telescope,” she told Ruby. “You point this side up at the sky, and you look through here, and you can look at the stars more clearly and closely than before. And who knows,” she said with an insecure sigh, “Maybe they’ll be looking back at you.”

While Ruby squealed and took her gift out to her bedroom window to try out, Sam looked distraught.

“Lena, that gift had to have been expensive. Where did you get the money for it?”

“Oh, come now, Sam. I haven’t been ‘borrowing’ from my father again, if that’s what you mean. No, I just traded some of dresses and jewelry for it. Nothing I will miss too much.”

“Well then that makes me feel even worse about it. Lena, it’s too much. I can’t let Ruby accept that from you.”

Lena took a gingerbread cookie from the tray, biting off its head dramatically.

“You can and you will,” she said with her mouth still full. “You and I are friends, and now that I know that my friend has a precious little one like Ruby, you are just going to have to tolerate me spoiling her every now and then.”

Sam didn’t say anything in reply, but instead wrapped an arm around Lena’s shoulder, taking a cookie for herself and following Lena’s lead by biting its head off. From their vantage point in the kitchen they could see Ruby fiddling with her telescope, peering through it for a look at the clear night sky.

“If you don’t mind my asking,” Lena said, “Did you ever try to find her father?”

Sam sighed.

“Honestly, no. I have no regrets over that, either. I was so young then. So reckless and unsure of myself. Realizing I was pregnant didn’t scare me but motivated me to become a better person, to give her a good life. And I dare say I’ve done a decent job raising her on my own so far.

“You’ve done a great job,” Lena said. “Now I better show her how to properly use that thing before she breaks it.”

Lena approached Ruby’s window, tapping Ruby on the shoulder so she might step in and show her how to focus the lens. Truth be told, she wasn’t entirely sure how to work the device, either, but she was fairly confident she could figure it out faster than a seven year old. Once she had managed to bring the lens into focus, she lowered the scope back to Ruby so that she could look up at the sky. Ruby held onto the telescope very carefully, silent and with as much focus as she could muster as she peered up at the stars. Then, suddenly, she jumped back from it, tugging at Lena’s sleeve.

“Miss Lena, look! There’s something in the sky! Like a bird, but so much larger! Look, look!”

Lena thought for sure that because of the magnification of the glass, Ruby had indeed just seen a bird and mistook it to be larger than it was, but she took the glass and looked through it nonetheless. She looked for a moment, seeing nothing, but then she too jumped with surprise when she saw a figure flying high in the air, higher than any bird, and indeed much larger, too. Then as she tracked it with the scope for a moment, she realized that she recognized the figure. She cleared her throat, willing herself not to appear startled.

“It’s just a bird, sweetheart. Perhaps a large one, like an eagle or a hawk, hmm? Here, you keep looking, I’ll be right back.”

Before lowering the glass to Ruby again, she spun one of the knobs discreetly so it would go out of focus, hopefully just enough to keep young Ruby from clearly seeing Kara flying around in the sky. She stepped away from the window, walking swiftly towards the front door.

“Sam, excuse me a moment, will you?”

“Oh, um, sure. Are you okay?”

Lena managed a nod before slipping out the door. Once outside, she looked up again to see if she could still see Kara rushing about up above her. And she did. It seemed almost as if she was looking for something.

Lena stepped further out into the street, and after a moment, she saw the figure of her acquaintance descending, until she landed on a building opposite Sam’s. Lena swallowed hard, trying to hide her sudden nerves that had pricked up within her as she remembered what had happened the last time they had met, and then further remembering her conversation with Alex earlier.

“Quite chilly conditions to be flying around in, don’t you think?” Lena said to the girl on the roof.

Kara shrugged.

“I don’t mind it.”

“Well I do,” Lena replied, crossing her arms.

“Then why are you out here?” Kara snapped.

Lena couldn’t help but notice the change in Kara’s voice. It wasn’t bright and devilish, like normal, but instead it was agitated and short.

“Well,” Lena replied, “I thought I might warn you that there’s a little girl inside who seems to have spotted something flying in the sky. Something much larger than a bird. Not that discretion has ever been of much concern to you.”

This earned a small smirk from Kara, who still stood looking down at Lena from her higher vantage point. She may have thought Lena couldn’t see it due to the lack of light and the height at which she was standing, but she did.

“And you?” Lena pressed. “What are you doing out here? Looking for something? Or someone?”

Kara’s expression hardened again.

“Of course not. Why would you say that?”

If Lena didn’t know any better she wouldn’t have thought that Kara was mad at her for something. Lena remembered what Alex said, about how Kara seemed to care what Lena thought of her. Still, Lena didn’t have the time or the sanity to play into another one of Kara’s games.

“Pardon me, I suppose I shouldn’t try and interpret anything you do. Goodnight, Kara,” she said sharply, and turned to walk back inside.

“Wait, hold on,” Kara said, and in a second, she had jumped down from the roof, landing softly in front of Lena.

She noticed now that Kara was dressed in a very masculine manner, wearing trousers and a thick coat. Lena realized it was likely difficult and impractical to fly in a dress.

“Well, where have you been, anyhow?” Kara said, tone still biting.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I haven’t seen you around. And just now, you weren’t home.”

Lena arched an eyebrow at the girl.

“You know, I’m getting a little tired of being _tracked_ all the time. And anyhow, if you must know, I’m visiting a friend. It’s what you do around the holidays.”

“Oh please. Who do you think has the time to _track_ silly little you?”

Lena tried not to feel hurt by Kara’s dig.

“Besides you?” she replied. “Your sister, for one.”

“Oh.”

Lena let out a sigh.

“She’s worries for you.”

Kara scoffed.

“Yes. She’s seemed to make a career of that.” Kara looked Lena over closely. “You’re cold.”

Lena realized that she had begun shivering.

“I’m fine.”

“Don’t be stubborn,” Kara spat, and pulled off her coat and tossed it roughly around Lena’s shoulders.

“You’re upset with me,” Lena responded, silently grateful for the coat. “Why?”

“I am not. I…” Kara sighed. “I just wondered where you’ve been, that’s all.”

“How do you mean? What, you’re upset I haven’t sought you out after that evening at Astra’s? Wasn’t that the point of your little scheme? To scare me away for good so I’d stop poking around the place, asking questions?”

“Well I mean, yes!” Kara exclaimed, and then she frowned. “But I didn’t think it was going to actually _work_.”

“You don’t make any sense. You know that, don’t you?”

Kara bit her lower lip, looking down at the ground.

“Well, what about my sister?” She diverted, looking back up. “What did she have to say to you about me?”

“She offered an appreciated bit of clarity about who you and those…other people, are.”

Kara’s expression darkened.

“I’m sure her view of the situation is full of bias.”

“Not to you or them. Towards Astra, perhaps, but she seems to feel sympathetic of those other people.”

“You say ‘people’ only because you don’t have a better word to describe the unusualness you see in them, don’t lie.”

“I do not.”

“Yes. You do. Your voice raises slightly every time you have to mention them. What’s wrong, Lena?” Kara stepped in closer to Lena, her body tense. “Do they frighten you? Do I?”

Lena swallowed hard.

“Do _you_ frighten me? No. You’re just a trickster with unfair advantages.”

Kara laughed dryly.

“Unfair advantages? Really?”

“Yes. I’m assuming you have more talents than just flying? Otherwise why would Astra seem to value you so highly?”

“Oh my dear girl…” Kara leaned in even closer, like she had that night at the tavern, when she had made Lena feel so warm and confused. “You have no _idea_ what other _talents_ I possess.”

Lena blamed the shiver that rushed over her on the evening chill.

 “As for your other question,” Lena struggled to say, pushing past the distracting flutter in her stomach. “I wouldn’t fear those other people if I had a chance to get to know them, I’m sure.”

“Spoken like a true politician’s daughter,” Kara whispered, still uncomfortably close.

“My open mindedness doesn’t mean I approve of the way you do business,” Lena whispered back.

“You don’t know how I do business.”                

A small smile had crept onto Kara’s lips.

“I know enough,” Lena croaked.

Kara groaned, irritated, and pulled away.

“Gods, you’re so!” Kara paused, taking a breath. “Well, anyway, here.” She thrust out a small package she had been keeping in her pants pocket. “I wanted to give this to you.”

Surprised, Lena took the package.

“What’s this for?” she asked. Opening it, she found a magenta scarf contained inside.

“Well, it’s a human tradition to give each other gifts this time of year, is it not? Well, I thought I’d try and participate in the custom this year, you know, as a way of apologizing for giving you a fright the other night. And…I know how you seem to like that color,” Kara said meekly, avoiding Lena’s gaze.

“You didn’t steal this, did you?”

Kara rolled her eyes.

“No! I paid for it, thank you very much.”

“Was the money you used to buy it stolen?”

“Oh for the love of…never mind about it, then! If you’re going to be that way!”

Lena recoiled, keeping Kara from reclaiming the gift, knowing she was probably being too hard on the girl.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Lena said, “I’m sorry, alright? It was a very nice gesture. Thank you.”

Kara was suddenly shy.

“You’re welcome,” she said quietly.

“I don’t have anything to give you,” Lena said regretfully.

Kara smiled.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

Without warning, Kara leaned in close to Lena and placed a hasty kiss on her cheek. Lena froze, an unexpected thrill rushing through her. Kara pulled away, a cold wind replacing the warmth she had emanated during the brief moment of their closeness.

“Goodnight, Lena.”

And just like that, Kara was gone, and Lena was left alone in the street, the gift in her hand, more confused than ever. Feeling a numbness settle in to her body and head, she walked back inside Sam’s apartment. Ruby was back decorating the tree, softly singing Christmas carols to herself as she hung ornaments with careful precision.

“You alright, Lena?” Sam asked as Lena shut the door behind her.

“Hmm? Oh. Yes, I’m fine.”

“Where did you get the coat?”

Confused, Lena looked down, and realized she was still wearing Kara’s coat.

“Oh. Um. I…” Lena chose to stop speaking, unable to form a reasonable reply.

“I worry about you so, Lena, after that bizarre night.” Sam stepped closer to Lena. “But…oh!” She noticed the package in Lena’s hand. “Perhaps your behavior of late isn’t as unusual as I thought, if you have a gentleman caller after you.”

“What? Sam! That’s not it at all!”

“If you say so. But, sneaking away like you did? Returning with man’s coat thrown over your shoulder? Someone presumably showering you with gifts? Sure seems like you have a special someone in your life. But don’t tell me about him, I’m not your friend or anything.”

Lena shook her head, laughing lightly at Sam’s accusations.

She supposed that technically speaking, Kara could be considered a very ‘special’ person in Lena’s life. But she didn’t think Sam would quite understand if Lena were to explain that this ‘special person’ was actually a girl, an absolutely maddening girl, that Lena felt herself developing a weakness for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRUST ME, these girl's inability to make any progress whatsoever with their relationship is as frustrating to me as it probably is to you guys. Kara's just a cranky lil bean. 
> 
> So. Related life update, I'm gonna start working a temp job on the overnight shift after the new year. And I'd like to be optimistic and say it's not gonna slow my writing down, but it very well might. If you've been sucked into my other multichaps while in progress, you know i don't give up easy, so don't fret. It just might be a slower going process than I was expecting. Though TO BE FAIR i thought this story was gonna be a lot shorter than my other multi chaps and here we are, over 20k words in and all the characters havent even been introduced yet. What can i say? I'm a disaster.
> 
> Keep track of my writing progress by following the 1865 tag on my tumblr (url: schatzietess) and feel free to come chat bc i always love talking to you guys. Comments and kudos would make a great christmas present to me :))) Happy Holidays!!!   
> -Tess


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is useless, idk

Lena’s Christmas was well enough. Lionel had come home. And he and the rest of the Luthor family had opened presents, ate cookies, sung carols in church, and generally made merry. And Lena appreciated it. She did. But the whole time, whether she wanted to admit it or not, there was only one thing on her mind: the girl she owed a gift to.

What do you give a girl who had extra-human powers and could, in all realness, likely just took whatever she needed or wanted? “You’ll think of something”, she had said. But Lena couldn’t think of anything.

All she could think about was the coat she still had in her possession, and the strange warmth that had bubbled through her when Kara had lingered so close to her.

She had thought that if she could just see her one more time, talk to her again, maybe she’d get a better idea for a gift. But she never got the chance, because, as of late, Lillian had hardly let Lena out of her sight for more than a few minutes. Lena didn’t think much of it, at first. She just thought that her adoptive mother was trying harder to connect with her daughter. But the more Lillian absolutely hovered over Lena, keeping her busy with decorating and baking and gift wrapping and learning new carols on the piano, the more Lena started to think that Lillian was simply trying to keep her from leaving the house. By the time Christmas day came to a close, Lena practically felt like a prisoner in her own home, having found not even a moment to herself to pay Sam and Ruby a visit, browse some stores for inspiration, or even take a walk around the block.

All the while, Lillian was sure to remind Lena all of a hundred times: “Now don’t forget about that luncheon we’re to be at the day after Christmas.”

Lillian had picked out Lena’s outfit, instructed her how to do her hair for the occasion, and even coached her on what topics were and weren’t acceptable for conversation. If she didn’t know any better, Lena would have thought that she was suddenly a southern belle being prepped for her cotillion.

Then again, Lillian was probably just happy that Lena was letting her act like her mother for once.

Lena wondered if Kara had gotten frustrated with her for her absence again. Not that Lena knew what Kara seemed to expect from her all the time. Every time they met, it felt as if Lena was missing something important within their interactions. And every time they parted Lena felt as though she had needed more from Kara than she had received. More of _what_ , she didn’t know.

The day of the luncheon arrived, and Lillian was as overbearing as ever. Fidgeting over Lena’s hair, her makeup, making Sam run herself silly around the house getting her anything she needed.

“Oh, would you calm down,” Lena finally insisted, slapping Lillian’s hand away as she fought with a specific lock of Lena’s hair.

“Well it won’t curl properly!” Lillian exclaimed.

“Why are you fussing so? You act like I’m a prize pony you’re putting out to show.”

“Well, I didn’t have the chance to introduce you properly to your father’s friends at the party, not after that dreadful business with the First Lady. And I just want to make sure everything is perfect this time. There will be a lot of important people at this luncheon today.”

“Yes, and I’m utterly unimportant, so why are you so worried about what kind of impression I make?”

“Oh, hush. You’re more important than you realize. And everything you do reflects on your father.”

“Yes, I know. You’ve told me that plenty of times.”

Lillian sighed, picking at the lock of hair once more, avoiding Lena’s gaze.

“Just humor me, would you?”

Lena resigned herself to her mother then, staying still while she continued to fuss.

“You know I have other bracelets you can wear, ones that would go with your outfit more appropriately,” Lillian said, voice careful.

Lena defensively clutched the thin, unimpressive gold bracelet around her wrist, and Lillian didn’t try to mention it further.

*

They arrived at the Mayor’s home late by the design, Lillian insisting that they ‘make an entrance’. Lena tried not to groan aloud as she followed behind her mother, giving their coats to one attendant at the door, and being led into the sitting room by another. She could hear chatter in the room as they approached, and then, as the doors were opened before them, the room went silent.

Lena swallowed hard, aware that in the room filled with what had to be over forty people, almost every eye was on her. She had never experienced such a thing before, and it made her want to turn and run the other way. And perhaps she would have, if she didn’t suddenly notice one particularly familiar pair of eyes on her; ones that belonged to a girl currently passing through the crowd, watching Lena with an unusually serious expression all the while.

How was it that Kara managed to be _everywhere_?

An authoritative looking woman with long brunette hair and a sharply defined face approached Lillian and Lena, smiling at them in a way that seemed forced, like she wasn’t used to arranging her face in such a way.

“Ah, Lillian,” she said, “So glad you could make it. And this must be Lena.”

“Thank you for having us,” Lillian replied, “Lena, this is the Mayor’s wife, Rhea.”

The focus of attendees had started to fade from their arrival, but Lena could still feel more eyes on her than she was comfortable with. Lena managed a small nod towards the Mayor’s wife.

“Pleased to meet you.”

“You certainly are as pretty as your mother boasted, if not more so,” Rhea said as she looked the girl over like she were something up at auction.

“I didn’t know my mother spoke so highly of me. Or spoke of me at all, in fact,” Lena replied.

Lillian cleared her throat, as subtle a warning to her daughter as she could manage.

“I mean that,” Lena recovered, “I am grateful to finally be able to put a face to my mother’s no doubt overly kind words. Especially during the holiday season. I hope your holiday was pleasant.”

“It was,” Rhea said with another forced smile. “I do enjoy the time with family. Speaking of, may I introduce my son?”

Yet another familiar face appeared behind her, the man Michael she had met while that night she had accompanied her brother for a night out. She didn’t know how she managed to forget until now that he had, in fact, introduced himself that night as the mayor’s son.

“We’ve met, actually,” he said, wearing the same self-confident grin she remembered from their last encounter.

“Have you?” Lillian said, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice, “You could have mentioned that, Lena.”

“I must have forgotten, Mother, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, you wound me, Lena,” Michael said. “I didn’t realize I was so forgettable.”

Lena tried not to glare at him, knowing that while he was making a joke, his remark likely was only going to make Lillian angrier.

“No, I didn’t mean that. I just…um…”

Out of the periphery of her vision, Lena noticed that Kara was closer to them now than before. Lena wondered, like she always did, what that devilish girl was up to this time. She also couldn’t help but remember that she still owed Kara a gift, and had come up with nothing.

“Would you actually excuse me for a moment?” she said hastily, and stepped away from the Mayor’s family and her mother.

Lena darted into the crowd, knowing she would hear about her behavior later. But she didn’t really care, she didn’t see what was so important about making painful small talk with the mayor’s family anyway. As she made her way to the table of refreshments at the back of the room, she impulsively grabbed Kara’s hand as she passed her, tugging the girl along with her as subtly as she could.

Standing together in the back of the room, Kara still seemed glum.

“What are you doing here?” Lena asked with a mixture of accusation and, perhaps, a little relief at seeing a friendly face.

“Oh, you know me, I can’t resist rubbing elbows with the elite,” Kara responded dryly.

“Sizing up their possessions, more like.”

Kara made a small smile, but offered nothing in reply.

“Oh, are you still upset with me, Kara?” Lena pressed. “I’m sorry I haven’t come by the tavern, or whatever it is you want me to do, I’ve been busy with family.”

“I’m not upset with you,” Kara replied, eyes scanning the room carefully, avoiding Lena’s gaze. “I’m just wondering how aware you are of the situation you’re currently in.”

Lena furrowed her brow at her companion, confused.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she said.

Kara shrugged.

“I suppose you’ll find out, then. Here,” she poured a cup for tea for Lena from the kettle next to them, hovering over it strangely a moment before handing it to Lena.

Lena thanked Kara, sipped at her tea, and then nearly spat it out.

“Did you put alcohol in this?”

Kara grinned.

“Yes, and?”

“Kara, it’s eleven thirty in the morning.”

“So? Trust me, you’re going to need it.”

“And what does that mean?”

“You’ll see,” Kara said.

Lena groaned.

“I don’t know what it is you’re not telling me, but please, for my sake, just don’t let anything valuable go missing this time, please? It’s important to Lillian that today go well.”

Kara raised an eyebrow at Lena.

“Lillian, huh?”

“My mother. Oh, you know what I meant. Just promise me, alright?”

“These humans don’t deserve any of the wealth or comforts that they have…”

“ _Kara_ ,” Lena pleaded.

“Alright,” Kara sighed. “I promise. Now go be a dutiful daughter before _Lillian_ loses her head.”

Lena looked, and saw that Lillian was indeed glaring at Lena, motioning to her in a way that meant that she needed to rejoin her company this very second.

“Sorry, mother,” Lena said upon her return, “But I was parched.”

“Well, if you would have just waited a moment, you would have seen that everyone is being seated for the meal.”

Lena forced a smile.

“My apologies.”

“Shall we, then?” Rhea asked, and ushered them all into the massive dining room. Rhea sat at the head of the table, Lillian sat to her left, Michael to her right, and Lena, oddly enough, was sat next to Michael. The rest of the guests were seated, and soon small salads had been delivered in front of everyone.

“You better polish that off,” Michael whispered to her, gesturing to her teacup, “I can smell the liquor in it from here. Don’t want anyone thinking you’re a lush.”

“Oh, Lord,” Lena replied, and gulped down the tea as fast as she could, urging herself not to wince from the burning of the liquor and the heat of the tea itself.

“There’s a good girl,” he said with a chuckle.

“Oh hush,” Lena spat at him, looking at Lillian quickly to see if she had noticed her little struggle, but she was lost in conversation with Rhea.

Lena took a moment to glance down the table, and found Kara sitting several seats down from her, laughing at a joke made by an older gentleman across the table from her. She wished she could be there next to Kara instead, if only so she could keep an eye on her. As if reading her mind, Kara looked over suddenly, meeting her gaze, and she gave her a wink and a smile.

“So Lena,” Rhea said pulling Lena’s attention away, “I hear you are quite the talented pianist.”

“Oh, um. I do enjoy playing, but I wouldn’t call myself talented.”

“You must play for us sometime, and we’ll be the judge of that,” Rhea replied. “Michael, perhaps she could teach you a thing or two.”

“Why play when I could simply listen, mother?” he replied with a smug smile Lena felt almost inclined to slap off of him, though she didn’t know why.

Rhea cleared her throat.

“Well, anyhow. Lena. I also hear you are surprisingly well read. Do you have any recommendations?”

“Only if you enjoy Russian history,” Lena replied quickly, then faltered. “I mean, well, that’s just one thing I’m particularly interested in reading about at the moment.”

“History, hmm? That’s not one of Michael’s best subjects. Perhaps you could tutor him.”

“Um, I guess I could always try,” Lena replied, perplexed by the direction Rhea was trying to take the conversation.

It went on like that as well, Rhea asking Lena increasingly personal questions, Lena trying her best to answer them to her satisfaction, and Rhea then forcing her son to have some kind of interest in Lena and what she was saying. However, Michael seemed more interested in his champagne flute than anything else. In a moment of relief when Lillian stepped in to do some of the talking for her, Lena glanced down the table, again meeting Kara’s eye, who seemed to be watching her intently, and Lena made a dramatic show of rolling her eyes. Kara seemed to chuckle, hiding her reaction behind her napkin.

*

After the meal, most of the guests stuck around for cakes and coffee. Lillian had finally loosened her grip on her daughter long enough to socialize with some of the other people there. Kara was nowhere to be found, and Lena was disappointed to think that she had probably gotten what she wanted out of the event and had vanished, like she was prone to do. Michael and Rhea had thankfully left Lena alone as well. But now, with no one to talk to, Lena didn’t know what to do with herself, and so she found herself wandering around the house, looking at the art on the walls and, in doing so, somehow found herself in what she figured was the Mayor’s study. She didn’t mean to end up here, but once she saw the impressive display of books, she couldn’t bring herself to leave.

As she poured over a book on the French Revolution, she heard footsteps approaching, and, fearing she would be scolded for wandering off and snooping through the Mayor’s belongings, she darted behind a long curtain in front of a nearby window.

“Is it so hard for you to at least pretend to be interested in that girl?” a female voice, one which sounded like Rhea, said in a hiss as she entered the study.

“What more do you want from me?” Michael’s voice responded. “Have I been rude to her at all? No.”

“You seemed utterly disinterested!”

“Well I’m sorry that she’s just not that interesting!”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Michael. Don’t you realize how important it is that this go well? You and I made a deal. I have tolerated your drinking, your gambling, and your _personal_ _acquaintances_ , thus far, because you agreed that you would settle down with the girl of my choosing. And I have chosen. Don’t you realize what this union would do for you and your father’s careers? Senator Luthor has been hinting at a presidential run for some time now. If he were to make it there, anything you wanted, you could have. And isn’t all you care about, anyway? Getting what you want?”

“I understand what you’re saying,” he sighed. “I do. But…”

“No. I don’t want to hear it. You will go back out there and you will charm that girl. And after that, you will begin courting her. And by the spring, I expect the two of you to announce your engagement.”

“That’s all well and good in theory, but what if she is just as disinterested in me as I am in her? What if she says no to all of this?”

“She won’t. Lillian assured me of that. She’s just as anxious to marry Lena off to you as I am. Now please, just go back out there and play nice, would you?”

“Yes, _mother_ ,” Michael said, and his footsteps receded from the room, followed closely by Rhea’s.

Lena who, had been careful not to move or hardly even breathe the whole time she had been concealed behind the curtain, now gasped for air, her chest heaving uncontrollably, her throat clenching up in a dry panic. She stumbled out from her hiding place, her feet unsteady beneath her, and grasped onto a nearby chair to keep from collapsing as the weight of this realization pressed down on her. Within a moment, a new set of footsteps came racing into the room, and a slender pair of surprisingly strong hands were grasping her shoulders, pulling Lena to her feet.

“Lena? Hey, hey, Lena. What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

Lena looked up at Kara as she allowed her to hold her up, feeling tears sting her eyes.

“Do it,” Lena said to her, her voice desperate and soft, “Whatever plan you had up your sleeve when you came here, do it. Cause a scene, some big commotion, I don’t care what, just cause some kind of distraction so that I can get out of here.”

Kara seemed to pity her a moment, before nodding.

“Alright. Come on,” she said, and led Lena out of the study.

The two of them walked down the hall, through the dining room, and were getting closer and closer to the sitting room where the guests still mingled. All the while, Kara kept her arm wrapped around Lena’s waist, holding onto her tightly. As they neared the sitting room, Lena clasped Kara’s arm desperately.

“Kara, don’t make me go in there, please,” Lena whimpered.

“It’s alright,” Kara said in a whisper, a supportive arm still wrapped around her. “Just trust me.”

Kara looked around them, searching for something, then, her gaze locking the large Christmas tree that still stood in the foyer, she sent what Lena could only describe as burst of light shooting from her eyes, and the tree burst into flames.

“Fire!” Kara exclaimed, and as the guests in the other room began to scramble, Kara snuck herself and Lena out the front door.

“We’re going to fly now, is that okay?”

Lena nodded, and shut her eyes so she didn’t have to fully experience the terror of flying which she would probably never get used to. She felt them roughly take off, and in a few chilling seconds of rushing winter air, they touched down again.

Lena didn’t quite recognize where they were. Kara led her through a small door in the back of the building they had landed in front of, up a flight of steps, and into a small flat, setting her down gently on a couch facing a small fireplace. Kara knelt down in front of the fireplace, the same beams of light as before came shooting out of her eyes, and a fire was lit. Giving Lena her space, Kara moved to sit on the far end of the couch, thrusting her hands out towards the fire to warm them. Lena felt the panic within her begin to recede, trusting somehow that she was safe here with Kara.

They sat there silently for a moment, warming themselves by the fire. Kara relaxed into her seat on the couch, tucking her feet up under her knees, glancing carefully over at Lena.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

Lena sighed.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I might have overreacted just a little.”

“Depends on what you were reacting to,” Kara said simply, turning her body slightly so she could face Lena.

Lena suddenly remembered what Kara said to her when they spoke earlier. About ‘the situation she was currently in’, and it now made sense.

“You knew, didn’t you? That the luncheon today was just a way of posturing Michael and myself together ahead of the impending courtship our parents have conspired?”

Kara frowned.

“I’m sorry. I thought you knew,” Kara replied meekly. “It didn’t seem like something a mother would keep her daughter in the dark about.”

Lena laughed dryly.

“What, that she had planned out my engagement, and consequently the rest of my life, without even bothering to tell me about it? You clearly don’t know my mother, then.”

“Well. If she had never gotten involved, would you have ever considered Michael?”

“What? No! God, he’s an arrogant, irritating...ass.”

Kara laughed.

“Oh thank gods. I was willing to pretend to be okay with it if you liked him, but as long as you don’t, I don’t feel bad in saying he’s just horrible.”

Lena laughed along with her, despite herself.

“What the hell am I going to do?” she said, her laughter slowing. “I can’t go through with it. How am I going to shake this terrible fate?”

“Just tell your mother to shove off! She can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Hah! I wouldn’t put any bets on that.”

“Of course you wouldn’t, you’re a terrible gambler.”

“Thanks for that,” Lena said, and then sighed. “And thank you for saving me. I realize now I was being a bit dramatic.”

“You weren’t. Someone is trying to take away your freedom to choose what you want to make of your life. If anything, you weren’t dramatic enough.”

Lena sat up slightly, looking more closely at her surroundings.

“Where are we, by the way?”

Her inquiry seemed to pull Kara out of some deep thought.

“Hmm? Oh. One of the apartments above Astra’s tavern.”

Besides the couch and the fireplace, there wasn’t much to the place. There was a bed in the far corner by the window, a small table and kitchen area nearer to the front door. All told, the place in its entirety wasn’t much bigger than Lena’s bedroom.  

“Yours, I take it?”

“Mmhmm.”

“You don’t live with the Danvers, then?”

Kara shrugged.

“I can’t live there and work for Astra at the same time. I tried it. But they just asked too many questions, made me feel guilty all the time. I still visit them a lot. But for the most part, it’s just easier being here.”

Lena nodded.

“Well, I like it.”

Kara scrunched her nose at her guest.

“No you don’t, you think it’s small.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You were thinking it.”

“What, do you read minds, too?”

“No, I’m just smart.”

Lena sighed, not bothering to continue their back and forth. They sat quietly for a moment, Kara thinking whatever it is she thought about, Lena wondering if letting Kara take her here was such a good idea.

“Can I ask you something?” Kara asked abruptly, cutting through the silence.

Lena turned so that she was sitting facing Kara, her movement a wordless consent. Kara followed suit, facing Lena and crossing her legs in front of her on the couch. They were closer now, Lena’s knees an inch or so from Kara’s, the fire crackling softly just beyond them.

“You put a lot of time and effort into your presentation. Your clothes, you hair, your jewelry, it always flows together, always dynamic and changing. Except that bracelet. There’s nothing extraordinary or appealing about it. But you always wear it. Why?”

The inquiry took Lena off guard. She looked down at the thin gold bracelet that fit snugly on her wrist, the color slightly dulled from what it used to be when she was a child and she kept it safe in a box on her nightstand, hoping one day she would be old enough that it would fit her without slipping off. She moved her thumb back and forth on the gold, gathering her thoughts.

“You found it silly that I referred to Lillian by her first name,” she finally said. “But the truth is, she isn’t my birth mother. My birth mother, she was involved with my father in secret. She never got the chance to raise me herself. She knew I would be better off with the Luthors than trying to raise me on her own. The moment I was old enough to no longer need to be breastfed, I was taken from her by my father and Lillian. She wanted me to have something to remember her by, but she had nothing to give but this bracelet she had on her wrist the day she gave me up. Lillian has been a good a mother as I could have asked for, despite her bitterness towards me and my birth mother. At least, I thought she was before today.”

Kara had a small smile on her face when Lena looked up from the bracelet to meet her gaze. Behind it was a hidden pain that Lena couldn’t begin to guess at. Blinking, Kara unbuttoned the top of her dress, pulling out a necklace she had concealed beneath it.

“My mother gave me this, before my home planet was destroyed, and she with it.”

Lena stared at the necklace on Kara’s chest for a little while. She finally nodded in a way of understanding, though she could never understand what a loss like that could ever feel like. And then, she found a solution to the problem that had been bothering her.

“Here,” Lena said, unclasping the bracelet from her wrist. “I’ve been racking my brain trying to think of something to get you after the gift you gave me. I couldn’t think of anything you’d want that you couldn’t just get for yourself, if you wanted to. That’s the trouble with you. But this…” she scooted closer to Kara, watching her chest rise and fall beneath the necklace and the fabric of her dress as she secured the bracelet around her wrist. “Is not something you would want to buy or steal. It’s something that only means something when it’s given.”

“Lena,” Kara whispered, her voice barely audible. “You can’t give me this.”

“I can, and I will.”

“But what if you find her one day, and she would ask…”

“If I ever would need it, then I know exactly where to find it.” She took Kara’s hand in her own. “I trust you.”

Kara looked at her wrist, and then up at Lena. The two girls were leaning into each other, faces close.

“Why?” Kara asked, searching Lena’s face. “You have no reason to trust me.”

“You’re right. I don’t.”

“Well then why do you?” Kara asked, frustrated.

Lena smiled.

“Because I want to.”

“That’s incredibly naïve.”

“You’re probably right.”

Kara continued to look into Lena’s eyes, her expression almost dazed. Lena realized she kept forgetting to breathe. Kara licked her lips, and Lena found herself staring. She couldn’t deny any longer that there was something more to this than any usual friendship. And she suddenly had this absurd thought about what exactly she wanted ‘more’ to be, until…

Without warning, Kara sprung up out of her seat, walking away from Lena and whatever had just hung between them. She moved towards her window, placing her hands around the frame of it and letting out a long breath.

“Are you alright?” Lena asked, suddenly self-conscious.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, stepping away from the window. “So, what do we do now? I can’t imagine you want to be home right now.”

“Well, no. But I’m sure my mother is worried about where I’ve ended up. I just disappeared back there.”

“Let her worry! It’s the least she deserves. And it is now officially afternoon. So. Ready to have a proper drink?”

That devilishness Lena had come to know had washed over Kara once again, clearing away with it any vulnerability Kara had previously let herself show. It occurred to Lena that Kara perhaps wore her recklessness like a mask, and whatever had just shone through her eyes a moment ago was what she kept hidden beneath it.

“Kara, I don’t think…”

“Come on, Lena. Have a little irresponsible fun before your life is potentially signed away. Please?”

Lena had no idea that Kara was capable of pouting so effectively. Groaning, she agreed, and soon was being led back down to the bar where all of this began…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying, kids. I really am. But night shift is no joke.   
> For progress updates, follow the 1865 tag on my tumblr (url: schatzietess)  
> Comments and kudos make me a happy, slightly less stressed out writer.   
> OH and um, I was originally gonna make a New Years eve chap, u know, kisses at midnight and all that, before i got busy and fell behind on the schedule? But if you guys still think i should try it lmk.  
> ANYWAY, Love yinz, byeeee <333


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You asked, and I delivered...

It wasn’t as frightening this time around. Sitting in a bar full of otherworldly beings, that is. Lena thought to be proud of herself for being so ‘accepting’ all of a sudden, but she couldn’t take any credit towards her good character when she kept finding herself gawking at certain characters that stuck out to her, observing them like they might be displays in a circus or menagerie. And even those ones that might have intimidated Lena were she alone didn’t faze her so long as she felt warm under that protective presence of the blonde sitting next to her.

Objectively, her sense of security was foolish. Her protector was a con artist, in a room full of thieves and consorters with powers beyond anything Lena could imagine.

“Anyone you’d like me to introduce you to?” Kara asked. “You must be curious.”

Kara had her stool turned towards Lena so she was always facing her, her left foot propped up against one of the legs of Lena’s stool, resulting in a very casual and unladylike pose. It fitted her though, considering that she had changed into men’s clothing; plain brown pants and a button up shirt, in a display of another one of her abilities, which was apparently impossible speed.

“No, that’s alright. I get the feeling that this is where they all come to escape humans and their feeling of difference. No need to remind them of it now.”

“You’re right about that, Miss Luthor. But aren’t you doing the same thing?”

Lena smiled.

“Yes, I suppose so.”

The boy Winn who had been on the human side of the bar the other night popped up in front of them suddenly, wiping out a glass with a rag.

“Good to see you again, Miss Luthor. What can I get for you?”

“Oh, um…something…subtle, I suppose. I don’t wish to be completely inebriated so early in the day.”

“Well!” he replied brightly. “Luckily for you, we’re on the fun side of the bar. Give this a try.”

Grabbing a tumbler glass from beneath the bar, Winn turned to grab a pear shaped bottle filled with a luminescent pink liquid, pulling the stopper out of the bottle and filling the glass and then presenting it in front of Lena. She leaned away from it like it might bite her.

“What is it?”

“If I told you where it came from you wouldn’t want to drink it,” Winn said reluctantly. “But trust me, it’s good.”

Lena was unconvinced.

“Look, I’m human, like you, and it’s not gonna hurt me. See?”

Winn splashed a bit of it into a glass and drank it. Lena could see the pink glow move its’ way down his throat and then disappeared. A lazy smile grew on his face. Lena looked down at her drink with a growing curiosity, but still hesitated to touch it.

“So you are human? I figured everyone involved with this place was…well…”

“Winn sort of fell into our laps through a not-so-happy accident,” Kara explained. “We were never really able to shake him. He’s a…what do you call yourself again?”

“Oh, a – uh, alien enthusiast. And don’t act like you can’t use a few humans around here to better sell your covers, Kara.”

Kara rolled her eyes at the young man. The two of them had a rapport with each other that reminded Lena of siblings.

Meanwhile, Lena could no longer contain her curiosity about the strange glowing drink, and she raised the glass to her face to smell it tentatively. It had a very fruity aroma, with a strange acidic hint to it. Then she shrugged, figuring it couldn’t be the worst thing to happen to her today, and took a small sip.

Instantly, her eyes filled with tears as the liquid burned its way down her throat like she had swallowed fire. Then, in the next second, she felt a coolness wash its way through her up to her head, where it settled in. The effect it had was immediate and unexpected. It was like every happy memory and feeling she had ever had were all happening again at once in a brief flash of glee, and then disappeared, but a content warmth remained.

When she could see straight again, Kara and Winn had similar, amused expressions on their face.

“What was that?” she asked deliriously.

“Let’s just say there’s a certain carnivorous animal the next galaxy over who has a special venom that causes pleasant hallucinations so it can kill its prey without much of a fight.”

Lena grimaced.

“Lovely,” she said. “But I suppose as long as no one is about to pop out of the shadows and eat me, I don’t mind.”

Winn chuckled for a quick moment, and then, looking behind Lena, his face dropped.

“Oh, you just had to say that, didn’t you?” he asked, and quickly moved to busy himself at the opposite side of the bar.

Confused, Lena turned her head to see what he had been looking at, and then quickly turned away again a she saw Astra approaching them. Kara cleared her throat, and her fingers began thrumming against the bar nervously as her aunt neared. Lena continued to face away from Astra, but she could still feel her presence looming like prey senses the approach of a predator. The very air around her felt electrified with tension and raw power.

“Well, my dearest niece,” Astra said to Kara, her voice low and fluid, menacing yet comforting, “I see you took a party favor with you when you left the Mayor’s home. And you brought her here. Again. How…interesting.”

Lena could see Kara’s jaw clench for a moment.

“Just say whatever it is you’re really trying to say, Astra,” she replied, motioning to Winn to bring her a drink.

Sheepishly, Winn moved towards her, grabbing her glass and the bottle of bourbon she had asked him to pour from when they arrived. However, with a quick tap of her finger and shake of her head, Winn was signaled to put that particular bottle away. Frowning, he instead turned to grab a bottle from the back wall, which contained a strange milky white liquid that had what appeared to be black seeds floating through it.

Astra clasped her hands behind her back, watching Kara all the while, her stance like that of a soldier.

“You were to attend that luncheon with a specific task at hand that I, foolishly, expected you to follow through with,” she said. “And instead, you set the place on fire. And stole the Senator’s daughter. And now you’re…getting her drunk in the middle of the day.”

Kara shrugged.

“You wouldn’t know I set that fire unless you were watching me. Again.”

“I don’t have to watch you. That little stunt had your name written all over it. And now, the Mayor’s wife is likely doubting her stance on things. And furthermore, Kara, by revealing so much of ourselves to your little friend here, you risk unraveling even more of our work. Tell me, are you intentionally trying to sabotage me, or are you just that reckless and foolish?”

Kara, who had remained rigid and largely unmoving since Astra had begun to speak, now grabbed the glass in front of her, tossing its contents back in a swift gulp, and slamming it against the counter so hard that it shattered, the glass shards glittering as they scattered about the counter top and onto the floor. Lena jumped at the suddenness of her violence, and shrank away from the situation as much as she could.  

“I told you after the first few times she came around to make sure she stayed in the dark about who you are. Who _we_ are.”

“Well that didn’t work,” Kara spat. “And I figured, considering her arrangement, that she would have figured it out eventually. At least this way, we have the upper hand again.”

“You forget yourself, Kara. You forget who these people are, what they’re capable of in all their ignorance. You think she’s any different?”

“ _She_ is right here,” Lena interjected, finally sick of being talked about as if she weren’t right next to them.

Astra considered Lena a moment, eyes scanning over her, looking for weaknesses.

“So you are,” she finally said, and then turned back to Kara. “Fine. Have it your way. But don’t ask for my help when your little plan implodes.”

Kara and Lena suddenly found themselves alone again, and Lena picked at her fingernails uncomfortably, trying to avoid Kara’s gaze, not wanting that harsh intensity she had just displayed to be turned in her direction. Instead, Kara simply slumped forward, resting her elbow on the bar table, and resting her chin in the palm of her hand, letting out a long breath.

“I, um,” Lena said tentatively. “I take it you two don’t always see eye to eye.”

Kara scoffed, using her bare hands to gather up the broken glass on the counter, collecting it all together into a small pile next to her. Winn walked past them wordlessly from behind the bar, scooping up the pile of glass with a rag, and then procuring Kara a new drink.

“Now where did you get that impression?” Kara finally replied with a dark laugh.

Lena thought back on her conversation with Alex, remembering how she had spoken of Astra’s harsh treatment of her niece.

“So why do you stay? Why do you help her like you do?”

Kara’s head snapped up from the now glass free bar table to meet Lena’s eye, her eyes glistening, struggling to contain some hidden turmoil.

“She’s family, Lena. The only family I have left. Between the two of us there’s all that remains of a now dead civilization. You don’t just walk away from that.”

Lena sighed, trying to decide how brave she was and how much she was willing to say to the girl sitting next to her.

“What about the Danvers? Aren’t they your family, too?”

Kara blinked, race unreadable.

“That’s different. They’re human.”

“And what’s so bad about that?”

“Hah!” Kara burst out. “What’s so bad about humans? Really? Were you absent during the last few years of your own country’s history?”

Lena flinched at the question, knowing full well what she was talking about.

“We’re not all like that.”

Kara took a sip of her newly replaced drink.

“And that’s another problem with all of you…fucking… _humans_ …” she said, her eyes now slightly squinted, her body language slow and lazy.

Lena had realized by now that normal alcohol didn’t affect Kara, so whatever was in that glass certainly wasn’t from Earth.

“You’re either, just, _monsters_ to each other,” Kara continued, “or you just shirk the blame of your own monstrosities, because you weren’t the ones physically carrying out these acts. _We’re not all like that_ , you say. Well you let it happen. All the time. Every day. You let each other be _awful_ to one another. You kill and torture one another. Over skin color, and money, and religion, and useless, fucking, _nonsense_. You treat your own people like _property_ , when you see fit. You’re monsters. All of you. Do you,” she tapped her pointer finger vehemently on the table for emphasis, “Do you know what it’s like to grow up in a family, in a society, that values peace, and science, and justice, only to get dumped in a world like this? You have no technology to speak of, for all your supposed intelligence, but you certainly have mastered the science of hating one another. And killing each other. For no. Fucking. Good. Reason.”

Lena remained silent, watching Kara carefully as she fell apart in front of her.

“Some people fight against that hatred,” Lena then said. “So many young men died to end some of the evil you speak of.”

“And look where that got them,” Kara said thoughtfully into her glass. “Buried in soldier’s mass graves and cemeteries, Jeremiah Danvers among them.”

“Is that how you justify what you do? Is that how Astra justifies herself? By saying that it’s not worth the effort? Don’t you find that the least bit hypocritical?”

Kara scoffed again.

“Humans deserve none of what they have,” she replied, mirroring what she had said back in the Mayor’s home. “Astra knows this better than I.”

“Well I’m glad to know you think so highly of us then.”

“Oh, come on, Lena. I wasn’t talking about you.”

“Yes you were talking about me. And about Alex. And Eliza. And, hell, even Winn. All of us. Look,” Lena said, scooting her stool closer to Kara’s. “I know what it’s like to feel that kind of anger, at least a small portion of it. I feel it towards Lillian all the time. Especially on a day like today. And you know what? It’s easy to be angry, Kara. It is so damn easy to just lose yourself in that anger and frustration. And it feels like the right thing to do, too, doesn’t it? That anger towards the darkness in the people of this world, to a certain degree, reminds you of what, or who, you don’t want to be. But when you let too much of that anger in, it cancels that out. It makes you hateful as well, after a while, I think. To the point where, the real challenge, Kara,” Lena now took Kara’s hands in her own. “The real test of your goodness, is to continue to look for it in others. There’s enough bad in this world to make you angry for the next thousand years, at least. But there’s also enough goodness in it, perhaps, to make you want to reconsider writing all of us, mere mortals, off for good.”

“Are you trying to say that I took the easy way out?”

“I’m saying,” Lena replied, touching Kara’s shoulder briefly to will her to look her in the eye. “That with all your extraordinary abilities, don’t you think there’s some better use for them than trickery and petty theft? Don’t you think you could use them to make these humans better, instead of worse?”

Kara was staring at Lena, her gaze intense and penetrating, her mouth firmly shut, containing whatever was on the tip of her tongue. But Lena pressed on, feeling confident that she was close to something.

“I’m not saying we, humans, I mean, are perfect. Far from it. But, if I may be so bold, I’m willing to bet that your people weren’t perfect, either. So, if you can try not to give up on us, I promise never to give up on you.”

 Kara suddenly burst out into laughter. Contained within it was a sadness whose multitudes Lena likely would never be able to grasp.

“I came here to make you feel better,” Kara finally said. “And instead you’re here making a case to your drunk alien friend to not give up hope on humanity. I just…I’m sorry, it’s just not how I expected this day to go.”

“Hmm. Well how’d I do?”

Kara shrugged lazily.

“Not convinced yet. But it was a good try.”

Lena sighed, taking another sip of her strange drink, and letting the warmth and contentment wash over her, drowning out the yearning and desperation that had been quietly building up in her chest since they left the Mayor’s home.

Lena wanted to stay. Wanted to get to know some of the people in the bar, learn more about their worlds, and Kara’s. But a silence had fallen over them that signaled that perhaps Lena had worn out her welcome. And if Kara didn’t want her to leave, she could be sure that Astra, whose presence still seemed to linger unseen, surely did.

“I should go,” Lena said quietly.

“No, Lena, don’t, please,” Kara pleaded, grasping Lena’s hand urgently, her eyes misty and tired. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry. Just…stay here with me.”

Without thinking much of it, Lena reached out to stroke a lock of Kara’s hair that had fallen in front of her face, her thumb grazing her cheek, and tucked the hair behind her ear. Kara’s eyes fluttered shut, leaning into her touch.

“I need to get home before my mother employs the entire police force and possibly the military to come and find me. And you, I think, need to sleep off whatever it is you’re drinking.”

“I’m fine, Lena” Kara slurred. “I’m more worried about you.”

Lena sighed, remembering the conversation between Michael and Rhea she had overheard earlier.

“I’m not that surprised, now that I think about it. But I have some time to figure my way out of this. Don’t fret.”

Kara didn’t look at all convinced, if anything she looked on Lena with more pity than ever before.

“I can fly you home, if you…”

“Definitely not. Not in your condition. I hate flying enough as it is.” Lena sighed. “No, I can find my own way home. Thank you, Kara, for saving me from myself today.”

Kara nodded, forcing a smile. Before either of them could convince Lena to stick around any longer, Lena excused herself, traveling out through the ‘human’ side of the bar and into the street outside, the sun far too bright for how long the day had felt and how dim it had been inside the bar. She managed to find her way home with relative ease, and as she approached the front door of her home, she braced for the imminent impact.

*

“Where on God’s green Earth have you been?” Lillian screeched. “Do you know how much of an embarrassment you were to me today?”

“Lillian, I…”

“No. You don’t get to speak. Today was supposed to be a chance to posture you as a mature, charming young woman, a woman who would make a more than suitable wife. And instead, I was forced to show off a rude, absent minded, challenging little girl who then decided to just disappear in the middle of tea!”

“There was a fire, mother!”

“Yes. And how convenient that was, that a fire erupted moments before you took off?”

Lena balked dramatically.

“What, you think I started it?”

“I think the situation was a little too convenient to rule that out.”

“You want to talk about convenient, then, mother? Hmm? Well how about how _convenient_ it was that so many people were able to witness my meeting with Mayor’s son today? That way no one will be surprised when you likely go ahead and announce our engagement as soon as humanly possible.”

Lillian was silent for a moment as she carefully crafted a reply in her head.

“Am I supposed to feel guilty for setting you up with a handsome, available young man who resides in the same social circles and status as your own?”

“Oh, thank God you’re not denying it, at least.”

“Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain.”

“Oh, hush! I’ll react in whatever way I deem fit, now that I’ve essentially been shoved into an arranged marriage. Tell, me, Lillian, did I ever have the option of finding a partner on my own?”

“As if you’ve ever even spoken to a man your age with anything other than contempt. You don’t get to play the victim here, Lena. I’ve done you a favor.”

Lena scoffed, hiding her eyes behind her open palm as she tried to contain herself.

“Well, thank you, Mother,” she then replied, seething. “Thank you for ensuring that I will no longer be a burden to you. I look forward to see what you decide as to what dress I should wear and what decorations I should have. I’ll be waiting patiently all the while to be married off to your wise selection for me.”

Lena stormed off to her room, slamming the door shut behind her in a way she immediately felt was immature and dramatic, but she didn’t care. She just wanted to lay on her bed and cry for a while, wishing she had stayed with Kara.

*

Lena spent the next few days mostly isolated. Every time she thought about leaving her room and doing something productive with herself, she would quickly be met with a snide comment or lingering glare from her mother, who remained ever her prison guard lest she get up to some other mischief that would further damage her reputation. Sam would occasionally try to coax her out to at least come and visit Ruby, but she didn’t push her too much, being aware of her situation and how helpless she felt against it. Spending so much time alone brought out the worst in herself. She wallowed in her own misery, happier to be miserable than to find a solution to her problems, despite what she had told Kara. She slept frequently and without any real consistency, night and day meaning little to her when it was all spent in her bed, anyway, the same books scattered around her. She also barely ate, finding that laying around all day didn’t inspire much need for it.

After several days of more of the same, there was a quiet rap on her door.

“Still holed up in here, huh?” Lex said, letting himself in. “And I thought I was lazy.”

“Go away, Lex,” Lena snapped, tossing a book in his direction, which he darted out of the way of.

“Oh, come on, Lena. Michael isn’t so bad a guy. I like him.”

“You like him because he makes a good drinking companion.”

“Well, yes. But…I mean, you could do worse, right?”

She threw another book.

“Alright! Alright! I was just trying to help.” He sighed. “Listen. I get it, okay? You’re angry because the choice was stripped away from you. I have more freedom to choose a wife than you do a husband, and I can’t imagine how you must feel right now. But Lena,” he moved to sit on the edge of her bed, wary to keep an eye on her lest she threw something else at him. “Your fate is no different than most women your age. I know that doesn’t really make it fair, but at least this way, you’ll never want for anything. You’ll be taken care of. Not many women can say that. And besides, who’s to say you can’t become one of those heiresses who keeps a slew of lovers in secret?”

This earned a chuckle from Lena.

“Shut up,” she replied.

“Ah, a laugh! Hope is not lost,” he said dramatically, jumping to his feet. “Now, it is New Year’s Eve, in case you’ve forgotten. And I for one, plan to get roaring drunk and forget the name of who I kissed at midnight. Care to join me?”

“Is he going to be there?” she asked.

Lex frowned, refusing to reply.

“No thank you, then,” she said firmly.

“Lena…” he pleaded.

“Goodnight, Lex. Have a good time.”

Lex knew her well enough not to press the matter any further, and with a disappointed slump of his shoulders, he let himself out of her room.

Lena lost herself in Jane Austen after that. Not her typical reading material, but maybe if she read enough about marriage and impossible situations she would come to some solution of her own, or at least become more familiar with the reality that most marriage-age women are just as miserable as she currently felt.

As she felt herself questioning what on Earth she was supposed to find appealing about Mr. Darcy, there was a tapping sound at her window. She thought nothing of it at first, figuring that the wind had pushed a stray branch from the overgrown oak tree in the backyard up against the window. It happened again, and again she thought nothing of it. Then the third time, it was considerably louder and more insistent, followed by muffled voice impatiently calling her name.

“Lena. Open the damn window, already. It’s raining.”

Lena blinked, turning her face in surprise towards her window.

“Kara?”

“No, it’s Saint Nicholas. Now let me in.”

Lena realized she looked a mess, but she didn’t have time now to remedy that. Instead she quickly attempted to smooth her loose hair of any knots or unruliness, and threw her robe on over her nightgown.

Swallowing away a bit of nerves, she opened the window. Kara came bursting in, shaking the rain off of herself and her masculine clothing like a pup. Lena shielded herself from the spray, giggling at her antics.

“Good Lord, you’re soaked.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t kidding about the rain.”

“What are you doing flying around in this weather, then?”

“Trying to find you!” Kara replied emphatically.

Lena tilted her head, confused.

“Why were you looking for me?”

“ _Because_ ,” Kara said, squeezing the water out of her hair and sending it dripping onto the windowsill. “I thought you’d be out joining in the festivities at the club with your brother tonight. And you weren’t there. So I came to check on you.”

“Well, I wasn’t feeling very festive. So…oh for gosh sake, Kara, you’re dripping all over my floor. Here,” Lena moved to her closet, opening it up and gesturing to Kara to come closer. “Pick out whatever you want. Just…take that stuff off before you catch cold.”

Kara rolled her eyes, moving towards Lena’s closet.

“I don’t catch cold. But if you’re going to be such a brat about it…”

Kara grabbed a thick robe from Lena’s closet, and before Lena could think to turn away, she had started to strip off her button down shirt. Her cheeks instantly burning crimson, Lena spun around to face away from Kara.

“Give me some warning, would you?”

“Why? Do I make you nervous?” Lena didn’t have to see Kara to know that she likely had that smug smirk painted on her face, the one she had whenever she intentionally did something to fluster Lena.

Not that the image of Kara undressing made her flustered…

“Whatever happened to your ability to change clothes in less than a second?” Lena said, still facing away from Kara.

“That drains my energy and I’m tired,” she replied. “Alright. You can turn around now.”

Lena did, only to catch a glimpse of Kara’s plunging cleavage as she secured her robe.

The smirk was still on Kara’s face.

“So,” Lena said, letting out a shaky breath, “seeing as you’re not choosing to borrow one of those dresses, can I safely assume you’re not going to try and convince me to go out tonight?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Kara said, plopping down on Lena’s bed unceremoniously. “I just know I won’t fit into anything you own. You’ve got all those…” her eyes dragged slowly over Lena’s frame. “Curves.”

Lena cleared her throat.

“Thank you, I guess?”

“Hmm,” Kara said, inspecting her fingernails to avoid eye contact. “Anyhow. I still think you should come out with me. The New Year happens to be one human tradition I actually like. It’s so silly. Everyone talks about how they want to renew themselves and be better people just because the calendar is going to reset due to a new revolution around your sun. And yet you make so much merry the night before that on the actual first day of the New Year you’re all too sick from drink to do anything but wallow about, regretting your decisions. It’s highly amusing.”

“Well, then, I surely think I’m better off here.”

“Ugh, nonsense. Then you’ll miss out on your other New Year tradition.”

Lena felt a fluttering in her stomach.

“And what tradition would that be?” Lena asked cautiously.

Kara fidgeted where she sat.

“You know, you have to kiss someone at midnight. I’ve yet to hear a good answer as to why that is, by the way. But still. You are still young and beautiful…and unmarried. You should make the most of it.”

Lena was still standing across the room from her bed, watching Kara carefully. She turned to look at the clock that stood in the corner, ticking quietly, and she felt intensely self-conscious.

“Well, it’s no matter, now. It’s almost midnight. I’d never be ready in time. We don’t all have your speed, Kara.”

Kara’s breath seemed to shudder as she looked up at Lena’s clock to see that it was, in fact, about to strike midnight. Her jaw muscles clenched, and abruptly she stood, stepping slowly and cautiously towards Lena.

“Like I said,” Kara said, eyes locked on Lena’s, “You should make the most of it.”

Kara stopped directly in front of Lena, the unusual warmth that always seemed to radiate off of her now close enough to Lena to make her flush beneath its glow. She was closer to Lena that Lena would have ever dared to be, and Lena’s chest felt tight, as if something were trying to burst out.

“And like I also said,” Kara continued, her voice barely above a whisper, “You are beautiful.”

Behind them, the minute hand of the clock clicked into place at the number twelve. The clock was typically so quiet that Lena barely ever noticed it, but this time the ticking of the hands as they moved into the new hour, the New Year, felt nearly deafening. Kara’s eyes fluttered, glancing to the clock before locking onto Lena’s gaze once again.

“May I?” Kara murmured.

Lena couldn’t think straight, could barely comprehend the situation she suddenly found herself in. She was aware of the hitch in her breath at the realization of Kara’s request, the subtle nod of her head, granting her permission to the blonde’s request.

Then, Lena was aware of the soft fabric of the robe Kara wore grazing against her neck as Kara brought her hand to Lena’s face, her strong yet delicate fingers weaving through her hair, as if admiring it now that it wasn’t tucked away in a hat or other tightly wound fashion. Her blue eyes glanced down at Lena’s mouth. Then, finally, soft, full lips placed themselves against her own, barely touching at first. After this, it was Lena, and not Kara, who pushed their lips closer together still.

Lena didn’t really know what she was doing, didn’t know if it was the right thing to do. She just knew that no one should have the right to be that soft. Her touch, her skin, the floral scent of her hair that mixed with the earthy scent of rainwater, all of it, was too impossibly good for Lena to take.

Kara pulled away, and Lena forced herself not to chase after her touch as it was pulled away from her.

“Happy New Year, Lena,” Kara whispered.

Lena realized her eyes were still shut, and when she opened them, Kara was gone.

Lena blinked, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. The only evidence she had to prove that any of it had been real was the pile of Kara’s wet clothes still lying on the floor.

 _What,_ Lena thought to herself, _was that?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HRRRRRRNG  
> Karas thirsty ass totally rushed over to Lenas to get that midnight kiss...
> 
> So, *fans self* anyway...there was something in that chapter that is gonna come into play next chapter, and it's gonna cause some angst...I'm sorry...I gotta...  
> Ps on a personal note, if anyone ever asks you to work overnight, tell them to, respectively, kiss your ass. My life is hell rn. But at least these two useless lesbians are keeping me going?
> 
> For updates, follow the 1865 tag on my tumblr (url: schatzietess). Comments and kudos give me life, otherwise im a sad writer with no inspiration to keep going. For real. Also come talk to me about anything, I will always reply. Oh and I'm putting together an 1865 playlist bc i love misery and misery loves company, so hit me up if you have any suggestions. Love yinz, byeeeeee <333


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: brief mention of violence, abuse

Lena awoke the next morning wondering if any of her memories from the previous night were real or just part of a very vivid dream. The rain soaked clothes Lena remembered Kara discarding on her floor, the only thing that might have proven to Lena that it had all been real, were now gone. She got up, inspecting her closet, and saw that she was missing the robe she had leant Kara. So that at least was something, but not quite enough to convince Lena. After all, events such as your close friend flying into your bedroom, kissing you at the turn of the new year, and then vanishing into the night, seemed like something that only could happen in a dream. A very confusing dream at that.

Before now, Lena had been able to simply ignore the unexplainable feelings she had been having around her alien friend, dismissing them as nerves or excitement because of all the things she had opened her eyes to. Now? The image of Kara in Lena’s mind’s eye had a certain hazy glow to it, which sent a warm rush through Lena if she thought on it for too long. And she had no idea what she was supposed to do about that.

Insisting to herself that she needed to stop fixating on all of this, Lena forced herself out of bed and towards the dining room for breakfast. As she passed her brother’s room she caught a glimpse of him passed out of top of his bed, still wearing last night’s clothing, drool pooling on his pillow. Lena rolled her eyes, resisting the urge to jolt him awake somehow just for the fun of it.

Lionel was home this week, the action at the capital on hold for a few weeks. When Lena descended the stairs, he was already sitting at the dining room table, reading the paper as he sipped at his morning coffee. Lillian was making her way to the table, hands clasped in front of her, with Jess close behind, balancing three larger serving trays in her arms. Lena moved to help Jess put the trays in the middle of the table, aware that her mother’s gaze was fixed on her. Lena had the urge to simply fill a plate for herself and retreat to her room, but she also was sick of the idea that Lillian got to roam the house freely during their fight while Lena had to be the one hidden away in one room just so she didn’t have to see her. It was her home, too.

While Lionel was a ghost at the table, completely absorbed in his reading, the tense silence between the two women became almost more than Lena could bare. Then, finally, there was movement from upstairs, and Sam came into view, practically dragging Lex down the stairs.

“Just get some breakfast and I’ll leave you alone, hmm?”

Lex merely grunted in reply, plopping inelegantly in his usual place at the table and looking at the food in front of him as if it were poisoned.

“Have a good time last night, brother?” Lena asked with a smirk.

Lex groaned, gulping down the glass of water Jess placed in front of him.

“Leave him alone, Lena,” Lionel reprimanded absently from behind his paper. “He was just doing what all young men do at his age.”

“Well why is it that Lex can do whatever he wants but I can’t even leave brunch early without hearing about it for weeks afterwards?”

“Lena,” Lillian hissed.

Lionel sighed, putting down his paper.

“Lena,” he said, his voice quiet but firm. “I know you feel that all of this is unfair. And, perhaps it is. But I’m not going to get into an argument with you about the innate roles we fall into due to gender.  We each have a role to play in this family. Your role, my beautiful girl, is to marry well and live a life of comfort and high society. Now is that so horrible a fate? Hmm?”

Just as Lena was about to retort, Sam placed a firm grip on her shoulder.

“Lena,” she cut in, “I have some errands to run today. Would you like to join me?”

Lena’s face scrunched up.

“What errands could you possibly have to run? It’s New Year’s Day, everything is closed.”

Sam squeezed harder, giving her a silent plea, or possibly a warning. Lena cleared her throat.

“Yes. Alright. I would be happy to,” Lena said.

The rest of breakfast was silent.

*

Lena ended spending most of the morning and part of the afternoon in Sam’s home, keeping Ruby entertained long enough to give Sam a much needed respite. But Sam, being her usual self, only let herself sit for a moment before becoming restless, and soon was cleaning every inch of the house and doing anything she could think of to keep busy. There was a tension in her that Lena could not discern the source of. Finally, Lena had had enough of it.

“What on earth is the matter, Sam?” she asked.

Sam, who was peeling a pile of potatoes in preparation for dinner, threw the knife she had been using into the sink exasperatedly, a loud metallic clank ringing out from the effort.

“You are young, Lena. So young. And so impulsive. And I don’t want to see you make a mistake that you can’t come back from. I don’t want to see you throw your opportunities in life away.”

Lena, who had been showing Ruby how to cut up the peeled potatoes into even pieces, wiped the young girl’s hands off with a rag and gave her a quiet nudge towards the next room. Ruby obliged, but likely only because she was not having any fun cutting up potatoes.

“What are you talking about?” Lena asked.

Sam sighed, still facing away from Lena, hunched over the sink as she collected herself. She finally turned around.

“I came into your room early this morning to gather up any laundry that needed done. I know you have a habit of leaving your clothes lying around instead of sending them downstairs to the washroom. But I admit I was a little surprised when I saw men’s clothing discarded carelessly on your bedroom floor.”

Lena’s eyes widened, realizing what Sam must have been thinking.

“Sam, I…”

“You’re lucky that I saw it before your mother did. I had a feeling that you had a gentleman after your affections, but this? I know that you’re under a lot of pressure right now. And I know that when you’re under pressure, especially from your mother, that you lash out and find some way to rebel, but…”

“Sam, it’s not…”

“But sneaking a man into your room, Lena, really? If anyone had found out, your chances of a good marriage would be shot! And he could be taking advantage of you! What if you were to become pregnant? What if…”

“Sam! Enough!” Lena snapped. “I didn’t have a man in my room last night!”

“Do not lie to me, Lena.”

Lena stepped towards Sam, taking her hands in her own and willing her to look her in the eye.

“I’m not, Sam. Okay? I’m not lying to you, I swear. Those weren’t…it’s not what you think, alright?” she sighed. “You remember that girl, Kara?”

Sam blinked in confusion.

“Yes?”

“They were hers. She came by last night while it was raining, and I offered her a change of clothes so she wouldn’t catch cold.”

“Why would she wear men’s clothes?”

Lena attempted to hide her secrets behind a casual shrug.

“She feels more comfortable in them, I guess. I don’t know, it’s not important. The point is, I didn’t do anything to compromise my…silly…marriage prospects. Alright?”

Sam sighed.

“Okay. I believe you. Though I don’t know that hearing the news that you’re still associating yourself with that…tricky little thing, is any better.”

“She’s not so bad, once you get to know her. She’s…complicated, I’ll give you that. But she’s also surprisingly sweet, and selfless, and she has this smile that…”

Lena cut herself off, realizing that she was gushing. Sam looked more confused than ever. Feeling suddenly self-conscious, Lena sat herself at the kitchen table, knowing that, although it scared her to talk about what she was feeling, Sam was likely the only person she could confide in.

“Sam, can I ask you something?”

Realizing that the tone in Lena’s voice had shifted, Sam sat down carefully across from her, ready to listen.

Lena sighed, trying to collect her thoughts into something coherent.

“Have you ever…I mean…is it possible to…God, why can’t I just say it?”

Sam reached out and took one of Lena’s hands in her own.

“It’s okay, Lena. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Lena’s breath shuddered. She felt like once she said it out loud, it would become too real for her to bear.

“Do you think that a girl can have romantic feelings for another girl?” she blurted out finally.

Sam blinked, her mouth falling open slightly. Panicking, Lena rose from her chair.

“Oh God, I shouldn’t have even said anything,” stumbled, “just forget about it. I…”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Sam replied. “Sit down. Please.”

Tentatively, Lena turned back around and returned to her place at the table.

“We’re still talking about Kara, yes?”

Lena nodded.

“Alright. Well, then…when did you start to feel this way?”

“I don’t know, Sam,” Lena groaned, cheeks flushing. She hid her face behind her hands for a moment before trying to continue. “I don’t even know what I’m feeling, exactly. Whatever this is, it’s been building inside of me for some time now.”

“Well why did you keep this from me until now, Lena?”

“Because you don’t like her.”

“Well, no, I guess I don’t, but…”

“Exactly. And you’re probably right not to. Especially after what happened when we first met. But, I don’t know, it’s different with me. _She’s_ different. And I kept finding myself being drawn to her, and I couldn’t understand why. She cares about me, in her own way. And I care about her. And…that was all well and fine for a friendship, as unlikely as it was. But then…she came over last night.”

Sam raised a warning eyebrow.

“No one saw her. She snuck in through my window. Don’t ask me how…but she came over. And…she kissed me.”

Sam was quiet a moment.

“Well, sometimes, very close friends can be affectionate. That’s not all that unusual.”

“It wasn’t like that, Sam. It was more than ‘friendly affection’. It…took the breath out of my lungs, made my head spin, you know? I’ve never felt anything like that before. And now I’m just very confused.”

Sam still gave no response, likely taking her time to form a response that wouldn’t hurt Lena while she was so vulnerable.

“You think it’s wrong, what happening between us, don’t you?” Lena said, trying to instigate a response out of her friend.

“No, no, that’s not it, Lena. I suppose that a lot of young girls experience that intoxicating loss of control that is a secret first love. Lord knows I did. Yours is just…a little unorthodox.”

“Quite literally so,” Lena said dryly, earning frown from Sam.

“Look. I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t be, I guess, exploring this new found information about yourself,” Sam said. “But you have to remember to be realistic here, Lena. There’s no scenario in which you two can be together. You’re all but promised to someone else, dear. If it weren’t Michael, it would be some other young man within the appropriate social circle. Kara is not only part of a group lower than Lillian would ever dare stoop to associate with, but she is also a girl. It’s just…not possible, Lena. So, I suppose all I can tell you is to do what makes you happy for now, as long as you keep it quiet, and just understand that whatever you have with her…that it has an expiration date.”

Lena swallowed back a sudden surge of emotion that settled into the back of her throat in a painful lump.

“Somehow,” she said quietly, “I think it would have been better if you had just told me to stay away from her.”

*

Lena had been right in thinking that everything was closed for New Year’s Day. Except perhaps for one place, which, despite her better judgement, Lena found herself walking towards after she had left Sam’s home. It was funny how after finding herself upset at the idea of losing Kara, that she was the only person Lena could think to go to to make her feel better.

When she entered the tavern, she didn’t recognize the bartender. He was young like Winn, but built more like a walking string bean. His movements were quick and jarring, like his body was too fast for his mind to keep up with. Not sure if he would even let her into the other side of the tavern, Lena settled to sit on the ‘human’ side, resolved to simply ask for Kara when she got the chance. It was surprisingly busy considering the holiday, so it was a few minutes before the wiry young man approached Lena.

“Sorry,” the young man said when he finally stopped in front of Lena, his fingers strumming against the countertop agitatedly, “I…oh! I know you!”

Lena raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him, searching his face to try and find something she recognized, but she was certain she had never seen him before.

“Right,” he said, reading her expression, “You wouldn’t recognize me. I probably shouldn’t have even mentioned it. Um. So. What can I get you? Oh, wait! What am I thinking?”

In a split second, he had procured a glass of champagne, placing it in front of her. The liquid inside the glass sloshed messily due to the speed in which it had been delivered to her.

“It’s a holiday, isn’t it? Everyone gets a free glass of champagne.”

“Well thank you, then, um…”

“Barry. My name is Barry. And you’re Lena, right?”

“Uh, yes, I am. Nice to meet you, I suppose, since I don’t remember meeting you before. Is, ah, is Kara perhaps around?”

Barry looked nervous for a moment.

“No, she um…she’s on an assignment.”

“Oh,” Lena replied, disappointment clearly showing in her voice.

“Well she could be back soon, if you wanted to stick around. Though, I’m sure you have better things to do than sit around a bar on New Year’s Day.”

Lena thought about the prospect of going home and being with her family and grimaced.

“No, actually, I’m quite content here for now. Thank you, Barry.”

He smiled widely at her.

“Just holler if you need me!” he said, and darted back to the other side of the bar where more customers were waiting to be served.

Lena sipped at her champagne, content in her solitude at the far side of the bar. She didn’t realize until now how comfortable she had become being in this particular tavern, and she thought it amusing considering her first impressions of the place. Even more amusing considering that her impressions only scratched at the surface of its darker reality, and still she felt comfort in the place. But it wouldn’t last long…

*

Some time passed. She stuck to drinking champagne because it didn’t affect her as quickly as most of the things she drank in this particular tavern, and because the bubbles made her feel giddy. As she sat alone, she became mildly aware of a gentleman sitting several seats down the bar from her. What caught her attention about him was his energy. Most people here had a certain passive laziness to them that went hand in hand with inebriation. This man, however, was alert. Where the other patrons slumped in their seats, he sat up straight. Where others looked into their glasses or at their cards, he looked at everyone else, observing. Several times his gaze hovered over Lena, watching her with a certain amount of calculation. However, since he stayed where he was and said nothing to her, Lena didn’t think much of it.

Kara had still not come back from her “assignment”, and Lena began to wonder if she should simply go home, and the hour for dinner was fast approaching, and she could only imagine what her mother would have to say about her being late.

Just before she was about the leave, a man sat down next to her, the only vacant seat at the bar. He was older than her, his face hardened by untold hardships but his eyes soft with kindness nonetheless. He glanced over at Lena a moment, regarding her, before leaning in to the bar with a sense of importance. Barry appeared a moment later.

“Nothing for me, son,” the man said before Barry could speak. “I’m just here on business. She around?”

“Oh…um. I can check in the back. Who should I say is looking for her?”

“It’s she who’s been looking for me, as a matter of fact. There’s something she needs rid of.”

Barry’s eyes widened with recognition.

“Oh! That! Of course, Mr. J’onzz. I’ll be right back.”

The man nodded, and Barry disappeared to the alien side of the tavern. He looked at Lena again, who was trying her best not to be noticeable.

“It’s not polite to eavesdrop,” he said calmly.

Lena cleared her throat nervously.

“I wasn’t trying to, um...”

He smiled, waving a hand to signal that she need not try to explain.

“Not to worry, Miss Luthor. I have a feeling you need to hear what comes next. But turn more that way, unless you want Astra to see that you’re here.”

Lena was utterly perplexed by how much this man seemed to know about her, but somehow she also immediately trusted him. She turned away from him, keeping her ears trained to hear what was to follow. Glancing quickly at the wall mirror before turning away again, she saw Astra come through the secret door and appear behind the bar, Barry in tow behind her.

“J’onn,” Astra said, her voice a relieved sigh. “Good to _finally_ see you.”

“Yes. I apologize it took me so long to get here. With the south in the state it’s in, prompt mail delivery isn’t exactly high on their list of priorities, and I had some more pressing business to attend to before making the trip up here.”

“Ah, yes,” she replied. “How are things in Kentucky these days?”

J’onn chuckled.

“Still keeping me as busy as ever, I’m afraid. Someone ought to tell those confederates that the war is over. They don’t seem to be aware.”

“How unfortunate,” Astra replied, her tone uninterested.

“It might be a bit easier on me I you could use your connection to help employ some of the former slaves I’m bringing up here. Get them set up for a new life.”

“Human affairs are of no concern to me, J’onn. I don’t have the time or resources for them, you know that.”

J’onn sighed.

“I’m aware of your opinions regarding these people. Just thought I would try anyway. It would be a sign of good faith on your part, if nothing else. But I digress, you have something for me.”

“Yes,” she said impatiently. “There’s something I need you to move for me. Barry here got a bit carried away on a job awhile back. It was a simple enough task. Kara was to find the targets, and Barry, with all his speed, was to take what he could from them. But he got too ambitious. And took the jewels right off the damn First Lady’s neck.”

Barry seemed to be beside himself with remorse.

“Again, General Astra, I am so sorry for…”

Astra must have given him a signal to cease, because Barry stopped speaking mid-sentence.

“In any case, here’s what I need sold. There’s 30% in it for you, J’onn. Consider that your good faith.”

Lena glimpsed at the mirror again, and saw her slide an object wrapped in cloth to J’onn. He took it, examined it, and promptly slid it back to Astra.

“I’m afraid I can’t help you,” he said.

“What do you mean?” Astra said, losing her patience, “The sum you would collect from this would be considerable.”

“Oh I’m aware of the worth of this particular piece. And that’s the whole problem. Anyone who had the means to buy such an item would know exactly what this is, and where it came from. I’m sorry, Astra, but it’s too risky.”

“You smuggled thousands of slaves out of the south and you’re telling me you can’t even move a measly necklace?”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” he said calmly.

“Well I certainly can’t hold on to it, J’onn! It’s not doing me any good sitting around collecting dust. I don’t keep anything that isn’t worth something to me.”

“Yes, I know,” J’onn said with a hint of regret in his voice. “But as a single piece like that, there’s no way I could sell it.”

In the corner of her eye, Lena saw a brief flash of light the same color as the light Kara had shot from her eye’s that day at the Mayor’s home.

“There,” she said, “Now that damn rock is in small enough pieces to make it untraceable. It was worth more whole, but you insist on being stubborn about it. So now will you do as I ask?”

J’onn took the jewels and pocketed them.

“Pleasure doing business with you,” he said dryly.

Lena made the foolish decision to look at the mirror again, and at that exact moment, Astra was turning to leave. She locked eyes on Lena through the mirror for a moment, a menacing smile forming on her face, and then she was gone.

“I thought I told you to keep her from seeing you,” J’onn said quietly.

“I’m sorry! It was an accident. Maybe she didn’t recognize me.”

“Doubtful.”

Lena groaned.

“Who are you, anyway?” she asked. “And how do you seem to know so much?”

“Let’s just say you have the loudest thoughts in this room, and they’re very distracting.”

Lena blinked.

“You…you read minds?”

“Just one of my talents, but you needn’t worry about that now. Did you hear what you needed to hear?”

Lena thought over what she had overheard.

“Kara didn’t steal the necklace from the First Lady.”

“No, she did not.”

“I thought she lied to me. But she didn’t. She’s…she’s not so far gone as Alex or even Astra thinks she is, is she?”

J’onn shook his head.

“She may be angry and she may be lost. And Astra is using that to her advantage. She’s managed to convince Kara not only that she is her only option, but that she’s better off working with her than she ever would be on her own. But you and I both know that’s not true. There is another path she can take. And Kara needs you to help her find that path.”

Lena sighed, staring down at the steady stream of bubbles coming from the base of her champagne class.

“But then what? I can’t have with her what I want to have. If I ended up having to leave, if she loses me like she’s lost everyone else…it could just push her further into this darkness she’s in.”

J’onn shrugged.

“Then do whatever you can to keep her, Lena.”

J’onn got up and left before Lena could reply, suddenly nowhere to be found. The image of Astra’s menacing gaze still fresh in her mind, Lena left the tavern as quickly as she could. She had an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t shake, telling her that something had gone wrong. But without being able to see Kara face to face, she couldn’t know for sure.

*

_Kara came to with a jolt, aware that she had gone unconscious for a brief second from the last blow to the head. She gasped, her breath stirring the dirt on the ground before her. Since her arrival on Earth she had almost forgot what pain felt like. But not anymore._

_Despite the ringing in her ears, she could hear the dull roar of the crowd as they pressed in closer towards the ring, eager to get a better view. “Finish her, finish her” they chanted. The onlookers shook dollar bills in their fists, betting everything they had because they were sure that they had picked the winning alien. Before she could bring herself to stand, her opponent landed another kick to her gut. She dry heaved, blinking back burning tears. In her head she heard Astra’s voice, what she had said before she tossed her into the ring to fight._

_“Is she worth it, dear niece? Is she worth this punishment I must now inflict upon you for disobeying me?”_

_Another kick to the stomach, and Kara felt herself losing consciousness._

Is she worth it? _The voice refrained cruelly in her head._ Is she worth it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen...lena and Kara kiss ONE (1) TIME and suddenly it's like Romeo and Juliet level of melodramatic teen angst. Can someone pls tell them to chill. And also can someone pls kick astra's ass like UGH STOP HURTING MY BABY
> 
> I miss writing this story so much but my personal life is still absolute ass so bear with me (bare? bear? I NEVER KNOW) I was at least happy to wake up early af this morning just so i could get something out to you guys. 
> 
> Comments are my life blood, come bug me on tumblr, blah blah blah and all that usual stuff. Love you guys <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cw: mention of violence, abuse

Two days passed, and still Lena didn’t hear from or see Kara. Perhaps it was her fault. She had been avoiding Astra’s, afraid to run into the formidable woman again. She wondered if she had done something wrong, or if Kara was just being her usual, mysterious self. Was it foolish to believe that Kara would become any more accessible or transparent just because she had kissed her?

Likely so.             

Did Lena have reason to be concerned by her absence?

Hopefully not.

Lena tried to keep Kara out of her mind, tried not to worry or theorize as to where she was or what she was up to. And for the most part it worked. That was until Alex Danvers showed up at her front door.

“Lena!” Lillian called up the stairs. “There’s someone here for you.”

Lena’s face fell when she saw who it was. If Alex was here, something had to be wrong.

“Who exactly is this girl?” Lillian said quietly to her daughter, looking at Alex with distrust.

“Oh, you recognize Alex, mother. She goes to our church, remember? Or are you too busy contemplating the scripture to have noticed her?”

Clearing her throat, Lillian gave a curt nod to Alex, feigning some semblance of recognition.

“Try not to take too long. Dinner will be ready soon, and I have an outfit laid out for you to change into.”

“Why do I need to change for dinner?”

“Just do as I say, please.”

With that, Lillian left the two girls alone in the entryway.

“What’s the matter?” Lena asked.

Alex tugged at the fabric on her sleeves of her plain gray dress nervously. She always seemed to let her clothes wear her, seeming extremely uncomfortable in dresses in general. Lena wondered if Kara had gotten her dislike of women’s clothing from her sister’s influence.

“Have you seen her lately?” Alex asked.

“No. Why? Haven’t you?”                           

“No!” Alex said desperately. “I don’t know what’s happened to her. I might sound foolish for being so worried. It’s not like I expect to see her every day. She’s done things like this before. But this time. I don’t know, Lena, something is wrong. I feel it in my heart. I was hoping that it was just in my head, and that maybe you knew where she was. But if you have not seen her…”

Alex started to breathe heavily, her worry getting the best of her. Lena put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“Alex, it’s alright, calm down. When did you last see her?”

“A week ago. She was supposed to come by to see my mother and myself on New Year’s Day, but she never came. You?”

Lena tried to hide the blush forming on her cheeks.

“New Year’s eve, briefly. Someone at Astra’s told me she was on some kind of assignment? That was three days ago. I have not heard anything since, but I admit that I have not gone there since, either. Astra seemed quite vexed with Kara for even associating with me, and I didn’t want to make it any worse.”

Alex paced back and forth in the entryway, thinking.

“Do you think if you went there that you could find out where she’s been?” she asked.

“I mean…I suppose I could. But I don’t know how welcome my presence would be.”

“Yes but you’re not banned from the place like I am.”

Lena raised and inquisitive eyebrow at Kara’s sister.

“I may have…ruffled a few feathers when I was first trying to get Kara out from under Astra’s wing. A few broken chairs and a small fire later…and I’m not allowed near the place without one of her super-powered aliens throwing me out on my ass. Pardon my language.”

Lena crossed her arms in front of her, Alex’s worry becoming contagious.

“Alright, I guess I can try and find something out. But I can’t go just now, my mother is being obsessive about my presence at dinner for some reason.”

“Thank you, Lena. Really.” Alex handed Lena a slip of paper. “Here’s my address. Please let me know if you find anything out.”

“I will. And try not to worry too much, Alex. I’m sure she’s fine. Okay?”

Alex nodded, but neither of them believed Lena’s words.

“Lena!” Lillian insisted from the kitchen. “Worry about your social calls later! I need you to get changed!”

“Alright!” Lena hollered back at her.

With an apologetic smile, Lena walked Alex out the door, and then headed up to her room to find a hideous green dress laid out for her.

“Why in God’s name…” Lena muttered to herself, but changed into the dress anyway, reminding herself that if she just went along with Lillian’s wishes then hopefully she could sneak out with relative ease after dinner to inquire about Kara.

When she came down the stairs again and saw Michael in the lounge with Lionel, it became clear why Lillian had been so insistent.

 _Crafty little witch_ , Lena thought bitterly.

“Ah, there’s our girl!” Lionel proclaimed proudly when he noticed her descending the stairs.

Michael took a long gulp form his brandy glass before giving a small nod of acknowledgement to her.

 _Swell idea_ , Lena thought, staring longingly at the brandy bottle she couldn’t help herself to, since that would be considered unladylike. Lena cleared her throat, readying herself for the performance she was going to have to put on just to survive the night.

“Sir,” she said with the slightest curtsy, “What a lovely surprise for you to come by for dinner.”

“And here I thought I was expected,” Michael replied.

“Oh I have no doubt that you were. But I was kept in the dark about it. Likely so that I wouldn’t run off.”

“Lena,” Lillian scolded as she appeared, practically out of thin air, in the entry way between Lena’s place at the bottom of the stairs and the men in the lounge across from her.

“Just a joke, of course,” Lena said through gritted teeth.

Lex appeared next, with a sympathetic squeeze of Lena’s shoulder and a friendly slap on Michael’s back as he grabbed a brandy glass for himself.

“Shall we?” Lionel asked, and the group was corralled to the dining room.

Michael was, regretfully, placed next to Lena at the table, with very similar results as the last time they were sat together for a meal. They barely said two words to each other. Not that Michael was without things to say.

“So, Senator, how are things up on Capitol Hill?”

“Tumultuous as ever, I’m afraid. Efforts to mend relations with the south are strained at best, especially considering the great financial impact this has had on not only them, but on us to help fund their efforts to rebuild.”

“Hmm,” he murmured through a mouthful of potatoes, “I’m sure. Such a shame that things got so out of hand over something as trivial as slavery.”

Lena nearly spat out her drink at his ignorance. Lionel seemed to bristle slightly. Even Lex, fond of his friend as he was, seemed to freeze for a moment. Lillian, however, seemed unbothered, a true testament to just how desperate she was to dump her adopted daughter off on this man.

“Yes, well…” Lionel pressed on nonetheless, “Discourse on a level to which we have seen is unfortunate but all in all inevitable in a nation as objectively young as ours is. What we need now is a true, uncompromised leader. A true beacon of unity and understanding that both sides can put their trust in. A…”

Lex interrupted with purposeful cough.

“Head already on the campaign trail, is it, father?”

“Perhaps,” Lionel replied with a chuckle.

“Not to worry, Mr. Luthor,” Michael chimed in, punctuating his sentence a gulp of wine and a burp. “Alexander and I will be the first to rally your support. We’ll start in the pubs and clubs, then, eh?”

Lillian laughed at this sad attempt at a joke. Actually laughed. Lena wanted to vomit.

“So, um, Lena,” he pressed on, supposedly feeling confident in his conversational streak, “read any good books lately?”

Lena shrugged.

“I was feeling very inspired reading about Medea the other day. Something about murderous women really speaks to me.”

“Lena,” Lillian hissed. “Anyway, Michael, how is your family?”

After dinner, on their way to the lounge for dessert and coffee, Michael pulled Lena aside with an unexpected grip on the wrist, leading her in to her father’s study.

“Get your hands off of me, you filthy cur,” Lena hissed, ripping her arm away from Michael’s grip.

“Whoa now, calm down, Lena. I just need a word with you, is that permissible?”

Lena scowled.

“I suppose,” she replied.

“Thank you. Now, look. I know that neither of us are necessarily…excited about this arrangement.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“Just…be quiet a moment, would you?”

Lena balked, but said nothing, because she knew that if she said anything it would come out as some form of inhuman screeching.

“Now, myself, I’m anything if not horrified by the idea of marriage and monogamy in general. And you, well, I’m not sure there’s a man on this world that would entice your interests, hmm? But at the end of the day, we both need this arrangement, don’t we? Seeing as neither of us are even natural members of our respective families, and want to keep that fact a secret…”

“Wait, what?”

“Lena, it’s okay. I know that your real mother was Mr. Luthor’s whore. And you know that I’m not from this planet.”

“Wait, _what_?”

“Oh come on, Lena. Don’t play dumb. You know I’m an alien. You…” he blinked. “Wait, you don’t know?”

“No?” Lena squeaked.

“But…your association with Kara! All that time you spend at the tavern! I thought Astra had decided to enlighten you so that you wouldn’t be scared off if you learned the truth on accident!”

“No! Astra hates me! And Kara…well...I haven’t seen her in a while. She…”

Lena saw the past few weeks’ worth of interactions with Kara and her aunt speed past her in front of her eyes like photographs in a book being flipped through. Kara’s appearance at the Mayor’s home, her almost omniscient knowledge of the impending union between Michael and herself. Astra’s anger at her for pulling Lena away from her responsibilities that day, how she believed Kara was at risk of ‘unraveling’ their work. Now that she saw everything laid out before her in a new light, she felt foolish for not having seen Astra’s signature on the ‘deal’ the whole time.

Lena felt tears sting behind her eyelids, feeling like a betrayed fool. No wonder Kara had disappeared. She had done her job, despite its hiccups, and now that the deal was all but finished, her participation was no longer required.

“So we’re bought and paid for then, is it?” Lena said quietly.

“Afraid so, darling,” he replied. “But it doesn’t have to be a life sentence, now does it? We can go through with the legal union, sure, but after that, we can still live our lives as we see fit. You can…read your books or whatever it is you do, and I can continue to live my life as a bachelor. So long as no one finds out.”

Lena scoffed, unable to believe what she was hearing.

“We can’t just pretend to be married! You have a clinical lack of subtlety, people will find out in no time if you’re having affairs. And then you can kiss your mother’s political aspirations for you goodbye.”

“Oh really? Like how the voters found out about your father?”

Lena clenched her jaw, trying not to lash out.

“Look Lena,” Michael continued, “the boy’s club of politics is as muddy with sin and secrets as the come. Just so long as we smile and wave to the masses, no one will ever have to know who either of us really are. And we could be powerful together, Lena. You won’t get such an open offer from any other suitor, I assure you. Just…consider it, would you?”

“What, consider marrying you so that no one finds out you’re an immoral piece of dirt from another planet?”

“…Yes. Exactly. Glad you understand. Now…”

At that moment, they were interrupted by none other than the woman who sold Lena off into this whole mess.

“Well, sneaking off for a private moment together, hmm?” Lillian said with a smug smirk. “Glad to see you’re warming to one another. But for the sake of decency, I must ask you come back out for coffee, dears.”

“Of course, Mrs. Luthor,” Michael replied with a wide grin. “We’ll be right with you.”

“Does she know about who you really are, then?” Lena whispered as they followed Lillian out of the study.

“No,” he whispered back. “No one knows but my parents, the Kryptonians women you’ve come to know so well, and yourself. And before you think to sell me out, know that no one will ever believe you. They would likely believe me, however, if I were to tell your parents that I cannot wed you because you suffer from a madness that makes you attracted to the same gender. Yes, I noticed the way you looked at Kara. I’m no fool. So do we have an understanding of one another, then?”

A sudden icy chill rushing down Lena’s spine, she could do nothing but nod.

Over dessert and coffee, Lena completely recoiled into herself. She was aware of nothing more than the tightness in her chest made worse by the grip her corset had on her, her hands as they fidgeted in front of her, and for a moment of pure irony, a snippet of conversation in which Lionel ranted about the surge of immigrants into the country, referring to them in a moment of self-declared cleverness as ‘aliens’.

*

Lena sat on her bed that night, too numb and confused to cry or even change out of that hideous dress. She just sat there, mind blank and swimming with frantic thoughts at the same time somehow. Was this how cattle felt when their carefree lives ended and they were led to slaughter?

 _For god’s sake, Lena, don’t be so melodramatic,_ she scolded herself. But she couldn’t help but want to wallow in her own misery. What was she to do with herself, other than let herself be led by force to the end of any freedom she had?

A violent thump at her window shocked her out of her wallowing. She jumped, looking to the window to see what had happened. It was still shut, and her eyes were too used to the brightness of the lamp next to her to be able to see through the darkness on the other side of it. Another thump, and she realized it was a lot like knocking. Getting up, she walked towards the window, and her heart sunk to see the source of her misery in the form of a painfully beautiful blonde on the other side of the glass. Wishing she had stronger resolve, Lena founding herself opening the window, letting her betrayer back into her life once again.

Kara attempted a smile, looking up at Lena and revealing a bruised and bleeding face.

“Miss me?” she managed to ask, and collapsed into the room.

“Oh God, Kara!” Lena exclaimed, trying her best to pull Kara up and onto her bed. “What’s happened?”

“Nothing,” Kara mumbled into Lena’s mattress as she fell onto it roughly, “Just wanted to stop by and…say hi.”

“Don’t you do that. Tell me now.”

Kara stretched out onto the bed, her arms dangling off the side of it as she laid sideways on it.

“Can you just let me rest a moment before interrogating me, please, Lena? Just…sit here with me. Please.”

Biting her lip, Lena did as she was asked, sitting next to Kara on the bed, attempting to reach out to put a comforting hand on her only to recoil at the last second. She even managed to stay silent for a few minutes, until she finally couldn’t take it anymore.

“Please tell me what’s happened to you.”

Kara groaned, the sound of it muffled by the bed, and managed to roll onto her side so she was facing Lena, her bruised and beaten face visible once again, making Lena’s stomach turn empathetically.

“Gods, Lena, stop looking at me like I’m dying. It’s fine. My powers will kick back in soon and I’ll be able to heal myself. I just…overexerted myself and knocked them out of commission temporarily, that’s all.”

“By doing what, exactly?”

“It was a…fundraiser of sorts, I guess you could call it.”

“Kara,” Lena said softly.

“That dress is hideous, by the way. Did your mother pick it out?”

“ _Kara_ ,” Lena scolded, sick of her avoiding the truth.

Kara let out a long breath, looking away from Lena’s probing gaze.

“Did you know,” she started slowly, “that people will pay through the nose to see other worldly ‘creatures’ fight one another? Well, I did. And Astra certainly did. But she…she’s never asked me to fight before. I look to human to be entertaining to watch. But she was a bit vexed with me, so she thought she’d give me a try in the ring. I did alright for a while. And then there was a particularly nasty White Martian…”

“Oh, Kara…” Lena breathed, still barely able to look at her marked up face.

“I won, by the way. May not look like it, but I did. So. We should celebrate, hmm? ”

“Could you stop hiding behind your sarcasm and ego for five whole seconds, Kara?”

Kara sighed, inching almost imperceptibly closer to Lena.

“Sorry, force of habit,” she said, her laugh hollow.

A moment of tense quiet passed between them.

“Your sister is worried sick about you,” Lena then said.

“She’s always worried about me.”

“She apparently has good reason to be.”

“Oh, don’t do that,” Kara said, sitting up shakily. “I know, alright? I know everything you’re about to say. I’ve heard it all before. So just…spare me, please.”

Her frustrating stubbornness was enough to remind Lena of why she had been angry with her just moments before she burst into her room.

“So, then,” Lena pressed. “Have you been missing these past few days _just_ because you’ve been employed as entertainment, or because I was no longer you assignment anymore?”

Kara blinked slowly at Lena.

“I don’t…”

“I had a chat with Michael today,” Lena continued, “about the little arrangement we were put in. Strangely enough, Kara, I thought I would know when I was being used like a chess piece. I suppose I was wrong.”

“Come now, Lena…”

“No. You don’t want to talk about the fighting, so, this is what we’re going to talk about. Your job was to make sure the arrangement went according to plan, isn’t that it? Tell me, how much Rhea pay Astra to ensure that I married her alien son? How much did my mother pay? Does she even know about the deal, or is she just so foolish and desperate to be rid of her husband’s bastard daughter that she played right into it unknowingly?”

Kara recoiled slightly from Lena, tears threatening to spill onto her bruised face.

“You know that this isn’t what I wanted for you, Lena. I thought you’d know by now…what I’ve wanted all along.”

Lena fought not to let her resolve crumble.

“Then why are you helping her? Why are you playing a part in my arranged marriage?”

“I wasn’t! I’m not! I…” Kara sighed, sitting up fully and bringing her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them. “I went along with it at first, okay? It was just another assignment. Michael was known to be stubborn and unpredictable, so I had to make sure he didn’t mess everything up. I could have cared less about whatever poor girl got stuck with him. And then…well, you couldn’t have just been some forgettable human girl, could you? You had to be… _you_ , didn’t you? And before I knew it… seeing that Daxamite peacock even stand next to you made me _insane_. So I indulged you, I took you away from it when you asked, allowed myself to come too close to you despite everything. I thought, foolishly, that I could somehow keep you. But I was mistaken. But this is what happens to me when I try to go against Astra’s wishes.”

Lena swallowed hard, trying to hide the yearning she felt at Kara’s words.

“Then why do you still work for her, Kara?” she asked. “Why don’t you get out from under her control?”

“I can’t, Lena. I just can’t. Aunt Astra…she takes care of me. She takes care of the Danvers. If I left now, I would lose everything. You understand that, don’t you? What would happen to you if you didn’t go through with your arrangement with Michael?”

“Well I wouldn’t be thrown into a lion’s den like you were.”

Kara laughed, then wincing at the pain it caused her to do so.

“No. I guess not. But then again, you aren’t the one with superhuman powers, are you?”

“No, I’m not. I’m just a silly girl who doesn’t want to marry a nauseating, what did you call him, Daxonet?”

“Daxamite,” Kara corrected with another small laugh, leaning back slightly to rest against Lena’s pillow, visibly relaxing.

“And what was it he called you? A…Kryptonian? Is that right?”

Kara nodded silently, her eyes looking just past Lena, towards unseen memories.

“Don’t let Astra or myself speak for who my people were. Krypton was…peaceful. We yearned for knowledge, kindness, honor…now look at us. The few of us that are left are criminals. I feel so lost, Lena. I don’t know what to do. Please just…tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix this.”

Kara began to sob softly. Thinking it the saddest sound she had ever heard, Lena rushed to her side, coaxing her with a soft touch to lay back into the bed.

“I’ll tell you what you do. You get some rest. You get your strength back. And you don’t worry about a thing for now. Alright?”

Kara didn’t have to be asked twice. Eyes half shut, she wriggled underneath the blankets of Lena’s bed. Looking down at her, Lena had one very clear thought: Astra had made a fatal mistake. By impulsively punishing Kara like this, she had shattered Kara’s belief that Astra would always protect her. Their bond was now fractured, and Lena knew she had a chance to break that connection entirely and free Kara from her bonds. That thought reinvigorated her, giving her more hope than she had felt in a long time.

Quietly, Lena got up, using her closet door as a barrier so that she could change out of the dress she had on. Then, grabbing a few extra blankets that were stacked at the bottom of the closet, Lena tossed them on the floor next to the bed.

“What are you doing?” Kara mumbled, voice slurred with the pull of sleep.

“Trying to make the floor slightly more comfortable,” she said, moving to lay down atop the stack of blankets she had arranged on the hard wood floor.

“No…don’t be stupid…come up here.”

Lena hesitated.

“That bed is smaller than you think.”

“No it’s not,” Kara said, eyes shut. “Just come to bed. Please?”

Lena swallowed hard, the emotions within her too conflicting to know how sleeping next to Kara was going to affect her. But Kara needed her, and Lena wasn’t strong enough to say no to her. She crawled into the bed next to Kara, careful not to disturb her. Kara scooted over to allow Lena more room, and Lena laid rigidly straight as far off the bed as she could manage without falling out, trying to give Kara as much room as she could, afraid to touch her beaten body. Then, unexpectedly, Kara grabbed one of Lena’s arms, pulling her closer, and laying Lena’s arm around her own waist.

“Kara, you’re hurt. I…

“But not by you,” Kara murmured, pulling her tighter still as she drifted off to sleep. “Never by you.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This unexpected chapter update brought to you by: me taking a mental health day. Don't know how this ANGST helps me, but it does...WHOOPS.  
> IDK WHERE THE STORY GOES FROM HERE so like...hopefully something comes to me...i'm sure it will but my brain is just fried rn.   
> Your comments make me a happy writer, come bug me here or on tumblr, idk i just love you guys.   
> Have a lovely day! <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: abuse mention, violence mention, murder mention, injury, bruising/blood

The next morning, Lena awoke slowly, confused as to why she was slightly sore from sleeping on her side and almost falling off of her bed instead of sprawled out, face pressed into the pillow and arms flung over each side of it like she normally was. But then as she flicked a lock of blonde hair away from her face, she remembered why. Lena’s cheeks flushed, and she was frozen where she lay. Kara Danvers had slept in her bed, all night, next to her, with Lena’s arm wrapped around her. And god she looked so contradictorily peaceful just now, her chest rising and falling slowly and evenly, a small, soft smile on her lips that were rimmed with dried blood, her eyelashes fluttering just for a second as she likely dreamed of something other than the cause of the bruises that rimmed them.

Maybe if Lena had been given just a few more moments like this she could have figured out just exactly what she was going and what to do next, but before she could, those fluttering eyes opened, saw Lena staring at her, and Kara smiled.

“How long have you been watching me like that?”

Lena flushed even more.

“I…am not used to seeing you like this.”

“What, in your bed?” Kara said with a smirk that made Lena’s stomach flip longingly.

“No,” she deflected, “injured.”

Kara frowned.

“I’ve not healed yet?” She raised a hand to her face, pressing on one of her bruises and wincing when she felt it sting. “Strange. I thought my powers would have returned by now.”

“Are they completely gone?”

“Temporarily, at least.”

“Then how did you get up to my window last night?”

“Well it certainly was not easy,” Kara said with a dramatic sigh, turning over slightly so that she and Lena were facing one another more directly in the bed. “You know on Krypton we had these things called ‘fire escapes’ so that you could, you know, _escape_ in case of _fire_. I highly recommend them.”

“In all fairness, there was no a fire. Just a girl trying to sneak into my room late at night.”

“So feisty in the morning, you are,” Kara retorted.

Lena laughed in reply, and then a silence fell over them. In that silence Lena was trapped between two choices: keep staring at Kara, memorizing every small detail of her face, or finding something, anything to talk about so that she would stop feeling like she was falling endlessly into her gaze.

Kara licked her lips, and Lena could not keep herself from staring. Kara, perhaps noticing this, took the liberty of pushing a lock of Lena’s hair behind her ear, her fingertips tracking along the side of her face with the gentlest touch imaginable. Lena sucked in a breath, her heart thumping in her chest. She felt herself moving closer to Kara before she had even made the conscious decision to, and then…

There was a loud knock on her door, and Lena’s heart nearly stopped.

“Miss Lena!” Sam’s voice called from the other side of the door, and without waiting for permission, let herself into Lena’s room. Normally, there would be nothing wrong or out of the ordinary about this action, but today…

“Sam! Get out!” Lena screeched in a panic, too shocked to think of any way to try and conceal Kara’s presence.

Sam, who was not that unused to Lena having an attitude in the morning, shut the door behind her anyway, as if Lena had not even spoken. However, when she looked up from the door, she gasped.

“Oh! Oh…um. I apologize, Miss Lena, I did not…”

The only reply Lena could manage was to hide her face behind her hands and groan loudly into them. Whatever Sam thought that she saw prompted her to spin around and face the door so that she was no longer able to see the two girls.

“I did not mean to, ah, interrupt.”

“It’s not what you think,” Lena insisted, her face burning crimson.

“I have no thoughts about it! None at all!” Sam said, her tone indicating she was equally embarrassed by the incident that was unfolding. “But, um, your mother is asking for you.”

“Now?” Lena whined desperately.

“She was quite insistent.”

“Well, tell her I cannot come down!”

“She will not listen to that and you know it.”

“Then just…tell her I am ill and wish to be left alone for the day! Just…try not to make it sound bad enough that she sends a doctor.”

“Alright. I can try. Again, I am very sorry, Miss Lena.”

“It’s fine, really. Just…lock the door behind you, would you, please?”

Kara, back to her usual devilish self, could not stay silent.

“Good to see you again, Sam,” she said with a wink.

With that, Sam rushed out of the room as quickly as she could. Completely mortified, Lena buried her face into her pillow.

“I am going to die,” Lena groaned into the pillow.

“Oh, calm down, there are more interesting things she could have walked in on us doing.”

“Kara, this is _not_ funny,” Lena said, face still hidden in the pillow.

She could hear Kara chuckling.

“It’s not!” she groaned insistently.

“No, you are right about that,” Kara replied. “No one is supposed to know I am here, anyway.”

Lena wondered what Astra might do to her already beaten down niece if she found out she had spent the night hiding out with the girl she was supposed to be avoiding at all costs.

“I just find it incredibly amusing how easily you become flustered,” Kara continued, trying to lighten the mood again.

But Lena could not be pulled away from her darkening thoughts. Lena had vowed to herself the night before that she would draw Kara away from Astra. But what exactly was her plan? Did she even have a plan? Or was she too busy wishing for more of Kara’s stare, her smile, and her touch to even think clearly?

Kara seemed to notice that Lena was drawing away from her, even if she had not intended to, and she stood suddenly, fidgeting with her wrinkled clothes from the night before.

“I should, um,” she said hurriedly.

“Here,” Lena said, rising as well, crossing the room, and grabbing the clothes Kara had left the other night from her closet, washed and neatly folded by Sam, saint that she was. Kara took them with a thankful smile, but then, upon trying to shed her old clothes herself, yelped in pain.

“Lena, could you…” she began to ask meekly.

“Of course,” Lena replied without a second thought, and rushed to assist her friend.

She had not thought much on what she was doing until she began unbuttoning Kara’s shirt one by one, slowly revealing more and more of Kara’s neckline, then the band of fabric acting as a small corset, binding her breasts into a tight fit, and then thick bands of blue, purple, and brownish bruising all over the exposed parts of her chest, stomach, and shoulders. Lena felt her own stomach lurch the sight of it. Kara had to have at least one broken rib, probably more, and, based on the bruise pattern on her right shoulder, had probably had to push it back into place after it had slipped out. The binding on her chest was likely the only thing holding her broken frame together as it slowly healed.

Kara cleared her throat, self-conscious under Lena’s gaze.

“I am sorry,” Lena said, blinking back the mist that had formed in her eyes and focusing only on the buttons of Kara’s shirt. “Those marks…they are hard to look at.”

Kara shrugged dismissively, trying to hide the tremble in her bottom lip.

“Oh, Kara,” Lena said, choking past the threat of a sob in the back of her throat, unable to contain the emotions stirred within her at the sight of the Kara’s beaten body.

She kept herself from reaching out to comfort Kara, afraid of hurting her further, and instead busied her hands with the clean shirt, fingers shaking as she helped Kara ease her arms into the sleeves. After a moment of struggling, Lena quietly cursed her fumbling hands that shook too hard to manage the buttons.

“Lena, Lena, stop,” Kara said softly, stilling Lena’s hands with her own. “I am right here, alright? I will be alright. Look at me,” she put a gentle hand to Lena’s chin, lifting her face so their eyes could meet. “This is the last time I will ever let her do something like this to me. This is the end of it. I promise you.”

“Well, I will not let her, either,” Lena replied. “I promise _you_ that.”

Kara let out a small laugh, her right hand cupping Lena’s face softly.

“Well you are certainly a force to be reckoned with when you want to be, so I do not doubt that.”

Kara stepped away and finished buttoning up her clean shirt. Lena then suddenly remembered her talk with Alex yesterday.

“Speaking of, I need to take you to your sister. I do not wish to find out what she would do to me if she found out that I had not delivered you to her the second you turned up.”

“What, you two are allies now?”

“We just have the same interests in mind is all,” Lena said simply.

“Which is?”

“You.”

“Of course it is,” Kara groaned, rolling her eyes as she stepped out of her trousers.

Lena turned away from Kara, distracting herself by picking out an outfit for herself from her closet.

“You should not get angry at her for worrying about you,” Lena said as she changed behind the closet door. “She loves you and you know that.”

“Oh, not you too,” she heard Kara say. “I best rush straight over to the Danvers and spare myself hearing any more of your lectures.”

Lena stepped out, holding her corset in place so it wouldn’t fall away from her chest.

“You think I will not just lecture you on the way?” Lena replied to Kara’s previous statement.

“What? You think you are coming with me?” Kara asked, gesturing for Lena to come closer so that she could string up her corset for her.

“Of course I am,” Lena replied curtly, “You are vulnerable without your powers, and Alex would kill me if I lost track of you again. Now stop fussing over me, Kara, I can call Sam up, I do not want you hurting yourself trying to lace me up.”

“Nonsense, I can handle a silly corset,” Kara replied, pulling Lena towards her and spinning her around, practiced fingers beginning to make quick work of the strings.

Lena braced herself against one of the poles of her bedframe as Kara tugged the loops on the corset into place, a force of habit even though Kara handled her with a touch far gentler than Sam or her mother when they performed the same task.

“Such silly contraptions,” Kara muttered to herself.

“Yours is currently keeping your rib cage intact, is it not?” Lena retorted.

“That is…different,” she replied, tying off the top loop, and then Lena felt Kara place soft fingertips on her bare shoulders, tracing, searching.

Lena felt her chest tighten uncomfortably against the binding of the corset as he sucked in a sudden breath, taken off guard by the sudden touch. Kara’s right hand stayed grasping Lena’s shoulder, the left hand moving slowly down the length of Lena’s arm, then moved to her side, and traced back up. Lena swallowed hard.

There was something they needed to be doing. If only Lena would think clearly enough to remember what that was.

_Oh that clever little…_

“Stop distracting me,” Lena scolded, moving away to grab the dress she had picked out. “We have to get going.”

Kara scowled sarcastically at Lena.

“Have you ever considered that _you_ are the one distracting _me_?” she said, and moved to open the window.

“Now, hold on, how do you plan on getting down?” Lena asked after her companion, who was already halfway out the window.

“Do not worry, Miss Luthor, this will likely hurt me more than it will hurt you,” Kara said, and hopped out the window.

Letting out a small cry of concern, Lena rushed to look out the window, and saw that Kara had landed on her feet much like a cat might.

“Are you _mad_?” Lena hissed.

“Probably. Now come along,” Kara said.

Lena said a small prayer, and followed suit.

*

It was a relatively short walk to the Danvers’ home. Lena and Kara spoke little, their only communication really was the way Kara would occasionally grab Lena’s hand and tug her the direction in which they needed to go. It was a gesture that Lena was sure Kara probably did not even think much on, but every time she did it, it sent a thrill through a Lena that she wished she had better control over.

They arrived at a small cabin style home that stood like a protest to time, looking as if the ever changing city had been built around it, leaving it untouched. Hesitating a moment, Kara finally forced herself to knock on the door. There was a pause. The door creaked open slowly, and then a relieved exclamation sounded from a woman inside as Kara was dragged in.

Lena stood awkwardly outside the door a moment, feeling like an intruder on a happy reunion as she could see through the partly opened door what she assumed to be Mrs. Danvers as she embraced her adopted daughter fiercely, tears streaming down her face.

In fact, Lena was about to turn and leave, until the door swung open fully, revealing Alex Danvers, who stood resolute, considering Lena. Much like Kara, she seemed to prefer men’s clothing, as she was currently wearing simple riding pants and a button down shirt and jacket.

“Where did you find her?” Alex asked, facial expression neutral.

“She, uh, found me,” Lena answered honestly.

Mrs. Danvers released her grasp on Kara, and was now fussing over her visible injuries, no matter how Kara tried to shrug her off or bat her away.

“Eliza, I’m fine,” Kara groaned.

“You most certainly are _not_ , now sit,” Eliza ordered, and with the same kind of magic that all mothers seemed to possess, produced a plate loaded full of eggs and toast as if from thin air.

And Kara certainly was not one to turn down food, instantly stuffing two slices of toast in her mouth, crumbs falling away from her lips carelessly. Lena tried not to laugh.

“Thank you,” Alex, who was still standing in the doorway across from Lena, said quietly to Lena, looking at the ground so she could hide whatever emotions her eyes threatened to give away.

“Of course,” Lena replied.

“What happened to you, dear?” Eliza asked as she sat next to Kara from in the kitchen.

“What do you think happened, Mother?” Alex spat towards them. “Astra.”

“Astra did not touch me,” Kara replied stubbornly.

“It was still her doing though, was it not?”

Kara remained silent.

Alex let out an angry sigh, and turned back towards Lena.

“And how is it you keep managing to get tangled up in Kara’s messes, Miss Luthor?”

“Luthor?” Mrs. Danvers asked, suddenly aware that Kara had a companion. “The Governor’s daughter? Oh my…has Kara gotten into some kind of trouble, has she? I…”

“I am just here as a friend, Mrs. Danvers. No need to worry.”

Eliza visibly relaxed, nodding to Lena with whatever gratitude she could convey in such a gesture. Alex, on the other hand, had not broken her expectant gaze on Lena, waiting for an answer.

“Oh, she neglected to tell you, did she?” Lena asked, unsurprised that Kara had kept Alex in the dark about the origin of her relationship with Lena.

“It was not any of her business,” Kara retorted through a mouth full of food.

“I was an assignment,” Lena replied simply.

“I gathered that,” Alex said, “but to what end?”

Lena’s jaw clenched just thinking about it again.

“My mother made a deal to assure that I married the Mayor’s son.”

Alex blinked in surprise, crossing her arms in front of her.

“Honestly? Lord, your mother must not care much for your wellbeing. They only family in Philadelphia more disjointed than the Mayor’s is…well,” Alex gestured silently towards Kara, and Lena read in between the lines as to her meaning.

“That is enough, Alex,” Kara warned.

“What? You’ve not told her?”

Kara focused wholly on her breakfast, avoiding Alex’s gaze.

“Told me what?” Lena pressed. “That Michael is not human? He managed to let that slip himself.”

“No, I mean did she tell you how he managed to end up parading as the Mayor’s son?”

Lena stopped, searching Alex’s face, and then Kara’s beyond them. Kara shrunk back in her seat.

“I did not want to upset you any further,” she said meekly.

Lena turned back to Alex.

“Tell me.”

Alex picked at her fingernails, gathering her thoughts.

“Well, he and Rhea used to have a son that was their natural child. But, the mayor has a bit of a temper, or at least he did. Got angry at the boy one night, there was an accident…the boy died.”

“Oh god,” Lena replied, feeling sick at the thought of it.

“Luckily for him, Astra happened to have a Damaxite boy in her clutches the same age and with a surprising likeness to the original Michael. It was like nothing ever happened. And now, hearing she is trying to pair him up with you? Can you imagine? Astra putting her own people into offices possibly as high as the white house, all of whom owe her favors? It could make her more powerful than ever before.”

Lena shuddered at the cold realization of just how much Astra must have wanted this deal to go according to plan, and how much she was clearly willing to risk because of it.

“There is no way out of this for me, is there?”

Alex raised an eyebrow at Lena.

“No. But you already knew that, did you not?”

Lena looked beyond Alex and back at Kara, who seemed afflicted with more pain as she listened to the truth as any physical injury could cause her.

Past conversations repeated themselves in Lena’s mind as she looked into Kara’s eyes from across the small kitchen. Lex suggesting softly that she could do worse than Michael…Sam suggesting that if she could be involved with Kara that it would have an expiration date…back to Lex inferring that Lena could have secret love affairs despite her marriage, like many others do…

_“Do whatever you can to keep her, Lena…”_

J’onn.

Whether Lena wanted to accept it or not, this arranged marriage was inevitable. And that left her with a choice as to what to do with Kara. How was it anything other than an insult to Kara to see her as something to play with in secret to add interest to the life she was ultimately settling for? After all, she knew what happened to women who became involved with married Luthors. Who was she to do that to Kara, who had only just started to fully trust her? Kara, as she was now, was a kept thing. Kept by her aunt. And Lena wanted to save her from that. How was making Kara her own kept thing saving her?

Lena realized that a tear had escaped her left eye, falling carelessly onto her cheek. She was still staring at Kara, whose expression was now blank, far better at hiding her feelings than Lena ever could be.

Alex looked between the two of them, who seemed to exist outside of everything around them in that moment, with a bewildered, if not surprised, expression.

“Would you, ah,” Lena said, drying her cheek, “would you mind giving Kara and I a moment?”

Alex blinked, and some form of understanding seemed to wash over her.

“I…of course. Mother?”

“But, Alex, I…” Eliza tried to protest, just happy to see her lost daughter again.

“Mother, please,” Alex insisted, and, begrudgingly, Eliza followed Alex out of the room.

Lena stepped in, and as she walked towards Kara, she noticed a small but masterful sketch of who she was assumed was Jeremiah, sitting framed above the wood stove. It seemed like such a cherished thing, the dust, even, seemed to regard it with respect, touching everything but it.

Lena stood across from Kara, who was still sitting at the table. Kara avoided Lena’s gaze.

“So, about the Mayor…” Lena began.

“I should have told you. I am sorry.”

“I understand why you kept it from me. But can we agree, from now on, that withholding information can be just as bad as lying?”

Kara scoffed.

“So you want me to be completely honest with you, then?”

“In situations like this? Yes.”

“Fine,” Kara said, standing. “We can start right now. I will not let you marry Michael.”

“Kara…” Lena said gently, reaching a comforting hand out towards her.

Kara pulled away.

“I won’t let you.”

“Kara, I have to do this.”

“No you do not!” Kara insisted in a desperate whisper. “After everything I have tried to do…you cannot just give in now!”

“Kara,” Lena said, pleading softly. “Listen to me. This was always going to happen. And if I do this…Astra might finally let up on her persistent punishment towards you. You need a respite from her wrath, Kara. I will not continue to be the source of your suffering.”

“What she does to me has nothing to do with you. She is…cold and merciless. And you are kind, and soft, and perfect, and beautiful.” Her voice cracked with feeling. “And I simply will not allow this, Lena! I will not!”

“Kara,” Lena attempted again, stepping closer to Kara, and this time Kara let Lena take one of her hands in her own.

“He does not deserve you,” Kara struggled.

“I am not disagreeing with you on that.”

Kara laughed despite herself.

“But I am going to go through with this regardless,” Lena continued. “I have enough dirt on him to keep him in line. And he has enough on me to keep me in the agreement, unfortunately.”

“What do you mean?” Kara asked.

“I mean that he is more perceptive than you think. And as such he knows that I am…fond of you.”

Kara blinked repeatedly, looking down at their entwined hands. She pulled Lena’s hands closer to her, considering them, her thumb tracing over Lena’s fingers.

“What if we could…in secret…still…” she whispered into them like a prayer.

“No,” Lena insisted. “I will not do that to you. You are the dearest friend that I have.”

Kara’s throat tensed as she swallowed back some surge of emotion.

“Is that all I am to you?” she asked softly.

“I am afraid that is all we can be. If we were to be anything more, if we were to even try…it would not end well. I could lose you. And that is one thing I cannot do.”

“You could at least try,” Kara said stubbornly, though they both knew that what Kara really meant was that she understood what Lena was saying. She took a slow, shaky breath. “You are…my dearest friend…as well.”

Kara squeezed Lena’s hands, and Lena squeezed back, neither of them saying anything for a moment, or even looking at one another, afraid of what they might do if they did, standing as close as they were.

“Lillian will notice you’ve gone if you do not return soon,” Kara finally said.

Lena nodded, the overwhelming surge of emotions within her feeling like they would burst through her chest.

“You are right,” she managed to reply through a sharp intake of breath, and she stepped away from Kara slightly. “What will you do now? Surely you will not go back to Astra just yet.”

“No,” Kara said, staring blankly ahead, “I should think not. I will give her some time to cool off. Wait until she has reason to think that I am back on her side again.”

Lena regrettably guessed that Kara was inferring to the impending event of Lena’s engagement.

“Good. I will leave you in the capable hands of your family, then. Until next time, Miss Danvers.”

Lena took her hands away from Kara’s grasp, and turned to leave.

“Wait, Lena!” Kara burst out desperately. Lena turned back towards Kara despite her better judgement. “I…” she began, and then stopped. “Until next time,” she said instead.

Lena nodded, and excused herself from the Danvers home, wondering as her feet guided her home, if it was too early to help herself to her father’s brandy bottle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S AN "ALL IS LOST" MOMENT!  
> This chapter is a heavy, dramatic MESS just like my personal life sjkdkjskkdjs  
> Look. Okay. My fuckin. Playlist. Felt like playing a whole lot of early 2000s emo shit while I was writing this chapter. So...take any complaints you have to Pandora.COM, I can't be blamed.  
> Sorry update took so long? Personal crises are time consuming. also i'm tryna plan my wedding and it's hard to write a story about marriage being a depressing trap while trying to get jazzed about your own wedding, ya know? I dont need that kinda drama in my life (that i created. all on my own. bc this is my story. that i am actively writing)  
> Anyway. Come bug me on tumblr (url schatzietess). Keep me motivated to stay with these hopeless angsty jerks, YA KNOW.  
> Like all fic writers, I am fueled by kudos and comments. Or at least a 'hey how ya doin, i acknowledge you are doing the writing thing'  
> LOVE YINZ, BYEEEEE <333


	11. Chapter 11

Lena did not consider until she rounded the corner of her block that she had not planned on how she was going to get back into her room she had snuck out of through the window, seeing as it was now locked from the inside. She opted to sneak in through the root cellar and up into the kitchen, giving poor Jess a terrible fright as they nearly collided into each other at the top of the steps.

“Miss Lena!” she shrieked.

Lena hushed her hurriedly.

“Sorry for startling you, Jess, but please keep your voice down. I am not in the right head to deal with my family right now. I just need to get up to my room. By the by, do you happen to know how to open a locked door?”

“I am afraid I do not understand, Miss Lena…”

Lena frowned, eyes darting towards the hall outside the kitchen, making sure no one was coming.

“Never mind then, I can figure it out myself. Sorry, again,” she said.

Checking to see that the coast was clear, Lena rushed towards the staircase as quickly as she could, figuring that if nothing else she could hide out in Lex’s room for awhile.

“Lena?” a voice called, stopping her in her tracks.

She turned, and Lillian was at the bottom of the stairs, studying her cautiously.

“I thought you were ill.”

“I…I was…I am,” Lena replied, trying to force a false strain in her voice. “I thought I might be feeling better, but I am afraid not, so I will just get back up to my room and get some rest.”

By rest, Lena actually meant swiping a bottle from her father’s liquor cabinet and feeling sorry for herself alone in her room, but Lillian did not need to know that.

“Hold on,” Lillian said sternly, and, trying to contain her grumbles of protest, Lena stayed where she stood on the stairs, turning towards her.

Lillian moved to stand a step below Lena, but even so was seem to tower over Lena, observing her closely.

“Your eyes are red and puffy. Have you been crying?” Lillian asked.

_Yes._

“No,” Lena replied curtly.

Lillian reached up to feel Lena’s forehead for a temperature. Lena flinched at the touch at first, but did not shy away further, afraid to rouse any suspicion in her mother.

“I cannot feel a temperature. Are you sure you are not feeling well? Or did Sam already tell you that I wanted you to come into town with me and you are trying to avoid going?”

Lena sighed.

“Why do you want me to come to town with you?” Lena asked.

“You need a new dress for church tomorrow.”

“Mother, if it were up to you, I would have increasingly hideous dresses for every day of the year.”

“A mother can only hope for such luxury for her own daughter. Now, will you join me or not?”

“Not,” Lena asserted. “You surely have already selected and tailored the dress, you just want me to feel like I had some choice in the matter. But I know that I do not, and I do not care anymore. Dress me in a burlap sack for all I care, mother. I concede myself completely to your judgement.”

Lillian took a surprised step back from Lena.

“I find it amazing how you manage to convey obedience and defiance in such effortless harmony. Well fine, stay here and be miserable by yourself, I do not have the patience for it today anyhow. And I will have you know, you thankless girl, that I really did try to pick something out I thought you would like. I hope you realize that.”

“I believe that you believe that,” Lena said, and excused herself up the stairs.

Lillian muttered something after her, but Lena did not hear exactly what. Regardless, she found herself a moment later pounding on Lex’s door.

“Brother! Let me in, I locked myself out of my room.”

“How did you manage that?”

“Never mind that, I know you can get it open. Now come help me!”

Lex groaned from behind the door.

“As you wish, princess.”

The second Lex had opened his door, Lena barged her way in.

“You woke me up, you know.”

“It’s noon.” Lena said.

“Your point being?” Lex retorted.

Lena began to open his cupboard drawers, searching. “Where do you keep your stash of whiskey? And do not try to lie to me and deny that you have one, because I know you better than that.”

Lex groaned.

“Check inside that sock in the back of that drawer. No, the one next to it. There you are.”

Lex seemed equal parts amused and concerned as he watched her take a drink from the small bottle, cringing as it burned its way down her throat and coated her empty stomach.

“It’s noon,” he said, repeating her own words back to her.

“Your point being?” she mocked.

“You ever stop think that you might be at risk of drinking too much?”

“You ever stop to think that you drink too much to judge the drinking habits of others?”

Lex threw his hands up in submission, unwilling to test the mood she was in. He followed her as she stormed back out of his room, picking up a letter opener from his desk on the way, and, after jabbing it this way and that into the lock of Lena’s door, they heard a click, and the door was open.

“Thanks,” Lena managed to say before shutting her door in her brother’s face, his whiskey bottle still in her hand.

*

In all fairness, Lena’s new Sunday dress was not the worst thing she had ever had to put on. Powder blue, modest neckline, but with a corset fitted to make everything ‘pop’, skirt full but not overwhelmingly so. And anyhow, it was only church. Jesus could care less about what Lena wore, so long as she was turning away from her sinful thoughts and accepting the life she was ‘meant’ to, right?

Though he usually requested a private service with the Minister, the Mayor and his family made a point to come to church this week, sitting in the pew on the opposite side of the Luthor’s pew. Despite trying to lose herself in the scripture, hoping, like everyone said, that doing so would somehow bring her peace, she could not help but be distracted by the eyes on her from their pew. The Mayor gave her an occasional neutral look of acknowledgement, Rhea seemed to watch her with pointed, forced interest, and Michael snapped his head to glance at her so frequently it started to look like a nervous tick of his by the end of the service. His hands seemed to fumble and fidget with the hymnal endlessly. Lena started forward, trying to ignore the lot of them.

The minister spoke about enjoying our toils, for they were a form of sacrifice to God.

*

Lena was one of the first to stand at the conclusion of the service, sick to death of the filled pews and the grating hissing like sound the congregation made of the letter ‘s’ through every prayer and song. Lillian grabbed her hand, stilling her.

“Walk your mother out, would you?” she asked sweetly.

Lena’s mind shot out a silent warning. She forced herself to ignore it, and took her mother’s arm. They waited for the most eager of the parishioners to file out, and then followed suit, the large wooden doors seeming more alarmingly red than usual.

Michael was standing just outside the doors at the top of the church steps, his ‘parents’ a few paces away, watching him closely. He approached Lena and Lillian like a stray cat tentatively approaches an offering of food.

“Lena, could I speak to you a moment?”

Lena swallowed, feeling suddenly sick to her stomach, but she nodded. Michael took her hand brusquely, pulling her several steps to the right. His hands were clammy and slippery. Several parishioners seemed to stare at the two, slowing their exeunt from the church as they did so.

After all, the show was about to begin.

“Lena, dear,” he seemed to choke on the word. “I have been cap-captivated by you since the first moment we met.”

How clever of him, and his mother, to ask now. In front of such a crowd, before the eyes of God. This way there was no way for her to say no.

One of his sweaty hand stayed clamped onto hers like a bear trap as he wobbled onto one knee. He dropped the ring box as he attempted to pluck it from his pocket. Twice. 

“Would you do me the honor of being my wife?”

Lena’s blood ran cold.

“How could I reject such an offer?” she said, the voice that came from Lena’s mouth unfamiliar to even her.

“Is, ah, is that a yes?” He asked, eyes darting around at the crowd that had formed around them.

Lena swallowed back the lump in her throat.

“I suppose it is. Yes.”

The ring was a hair too small. Michael managed to stuff it onto Lena’s finger nonetheless. It looked just about as normal as any engagement ring in the world: the modestly sized rock in the middle of it dazzling and new. But to Lena, it was the most hideous thing she had ever seen.

Several people clapped. Congratulations from friends and observers were given to both families. Lionel, in a swooping gesture, announced an impromptu luncheon at their home to celebrate the good news.

Lena could not focus on any one specific noise or sight that followed until she arrived home. She was aware of Lex taking a supportive grip on her arm, leading her back to the coach, and holding onto her for the ride home. She was aware of a shrill babbling sounds that she could guess was the gleeful carrying on from her mother, but it was nothing more than tones to her. And then there was glittering of the ring, which shined into her eyes with glaring force each time she almost managed to forget she was wearing it.

*

There was extra staff bustling around at the house when the Luthors arrived. The celebration, strangely enough, was anticipated. Sam gave Lena a sympathetic look when she walked in the door. Nothing she could have done. Warning her about it would have only caused Lena to act irrationally. Not her fault.

The house was rapidly transformed into a venue for celebration. Every flat surface in the place was cleared and covered in trays of food and drink. Lena allowed herself to be primped by Sam and Lillian. The tightness in her chest from the unforgiving rigidity of the corset as they restrung it for her felt natural, the twinge of pain with each breath welcome to Lena. Soon enough, friends and family from each of the newly betrothed filtered in. Each made a point to clasp Lena’s hand, squeeze her arm or shoulder, or pull her into a sloppy embrace, offering their congratulations.

Michael and his parents arrived at some point. Neither he nor Lena made a point to greet one another. A champagne glass was pressed into Lena’s right hand.

The mayor made a toast to new beginnings.

Lena drained the glass of champagne. And then another. And then she stopped keeping track of how many times she sought out a staff member for a refill.

After the toast, Lena thought that overall, she was handling herself just fine. She smiled when she ought to have; smiled wide and bright. She laughed when she ought to have; laughter that bubbled out of her effortlessly, infectiously.  She was coy when the conversation called for it, suggestive when it earned her a scandalized chuckle from whoever was in earshot. She acted excited to see everyone that stopped to speak with her. She projected so much glee, in fact, that her face began to hurt from the strain of it.

Perhaps it would always be this easy, to pretend to be happy. Maybe if she pretended long enough, even she would start to believe it.

As Lena trailed behind a man carrying the tray of champagne glasses, stumbling slightly, a firm hand clasped around her forearm, pulling her from the foyer to her father’s office.

Her smile disappeared when she saw who the hand grasping her belonged to.

“Kara,” she whispered.

Lena’s knees felt weak. Her bottom lip trembled slightly.

“I am sorry to pull you aside like this,” Kara said quietly. “It was not my intention for you to know I was even here. But people are starting to take notice of how often you refill your champagne. You need to sober up.”

“I am…fine,” Lena barely managed to reply.

“What happened to being honest with each other?” Kara retorted, pulling a small vial she had kept concealed in her bosom.

“I could ask you the same question. You knew this was going to happen today, did you not?”

Kara paused the movement of her hands as she fumbled with the vial.

“Truthfully I did not, Lena. If I had, I would not have been able to keep from punching that boy in the gut before he had the chance to go through with it. Now sniff.”

Kara took the stopper off of the small vial and placed it beneath Lena’s nose. Lena breathed in through her nose for a moment, and then gagged, the acrid scent seeming to fill her whole body with its burning foulness.

“Good lord,” Lena said, doubling over and retching slightly. Then, she stood back up, and found that the fog that had clouded over her from drink was gone entirely, leaving her feeling  as cold and miserable as ever.

“Now, that only clears the effects of your mind,” Kara explained. “The alcohol is still in your body, however, so for goodness sake, don’t try and start back up again or you could very well poison yourself.”

“Such fun, you are. Now, how did you find out it happened, Kara?”

“What, your engagement?” Kara cringed for a moment at the sound of the word. “I was flying overhead when I saw the little spectacle.”

“So your powers are back?”

“Yes, thankfully.”

Lena thought a moment.

“So then how did you know to come here, dressed for the occasion, nonetheless?” she asked.

Lena had not failed to notice the silken dark blue dress Kara wore with such effortless perfection. She had not failed to notice, either, the way it clung to her hips, or how dangerously deep the cut of her neckline dropped. She had to force herself not to continue to notice it, however, for it made her feel drunk all over again. Lena struggled to press on with her questioning.

“And do not tell me you were invited, Kara, because you always say that.”

“I was!” Kara insisted. “I touched down on the ground just as your father very loudly announced that everyone should come by to celebrate! That, technically, counts an invitation. Besides, I had to make sure you did not lose your composure in front of everyone.”

Lena sighed, acknowledging silently to herself that she was only questioning Kara like this to avoid the turmoil within her.

“In that case, I suppose I should thank you.”

Kara offered a small, meek smile in response to Lena’s thanks. Lena had never felt so far away from her friend than at that moment.

“Well…” Lena struggled. “I should get back to the party. It is in my honor, after all.”

Lena turned to leave, but was stopped in her tracks by Kara’s sudden touch as she grasped her waist, pulling Lena back towards her and spinning her around. Startled by Kara’s sudden urgency, Lena stepped backwards, pressing against the wall next to the door.

“Kara, what are you doing?” Lena asked slowly and carefully, feeling suddenly like she couldn’t breathe in enough air as Kara kept her grip on Lena’s waist, her own chest rising and falling dramatically.

“Tell me to let you go, Lena. To let _this_ go. Order me to. Because I do not have the strength to do it on my own.”

Lena swallowed hard, thinking that Kara’s touch would be no less torturous to her than if her hands were made of fire. Kara leaned into Lena, head down, like in prayer; her forehead resting against Lena’s shoulder.

“Just tell me to let go. Please,” Kara pleaded.

“Kara,” Lena whispered.

“Say it,” Kara replied softly into the curve of Lena’s neck.

Lena shivered.

“I don’t know if I can…” she said.

Kara lifted her head, her nose brushing against Lena’s.

“Then we truly are in trouble,” she breathed.

Lena felt powerless, unable to keep herself from sinking slowly, surely, deeper into Kara’s gravity. It was so strong that Lena could not even break from it as she heard footsteps approaching, along with two voices.

“I think I have just thing for such an occasion, my boy,” one of the voices said, and in a moment, Lionel and Michael stepped into the office.

So stricken with fear she could not react fast enough, Lena could only manage to turn her head away from Kara and her impossible closeness as the two men looked startled by the realization that they were not alone in the office.

“Lena?” Lionel asked, dumbfounded, “What are you…”

Lena did not plan what happened next, it just somehow happened, her body and mind running on pure instinct. She heard herself let out a gleeful squeal, pulling Kara into a tight suffocating hug, and then thrusting Kara away from her, still laughing joyously.

“Oh, father! I am so glad you are here! This is my dear friend Kara. I have just now asked her to be my bridesmaid, and she has accepted! Mercy, this is simply the most joyous day of my life!”

“O-oh,” Lionel replied, and then smiled brightly, “Well, that is certainly exciting news! I must apologize, dear girl, I spend so much time away, I have not even had the chance to meet the acquaintance of Lena’s friends. Kara, was it?”

Kara blinked slowly, frozen where she stood.

“No…” she slowly managed to reply, “No need to apologize, Governor Luthor. You are a busy man, after all. It is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.”

She held a hand out for the Governor to shake, eyes still wide and blinking dumbly. Lionel batted her hand away jokingly, pulling Kara into a hug in his excitement. As all this occurred, Michael watched Lena carefully, a malicious smile on his mouth.

“Anyhow,” Lionel said, releasing Kara. “What had I come in here for? Oh, yes! I have the perfect cigars for the occasion. Come, Michael, you must try one. They were gifted to me by the Vice President himself on my last visit to the White House. As it so happens…”

As Lionel continued to prattle on about how good of friends he was with the Vice President, Michael stepped closer to Lena.

“We have been engaged no more than an hour, and you are already sneaking off to be with your lover? And here I thought I would be the troublesome one in this relationship, my dear.”

Before he could utter another word to Lena, Kara swung her left fist into Michael’s gut with all her considerable strength. He doubled over, coughing and sputtering.

“That’s enough out of you, Mon El,” Kara spat at him.

“Ah, here they are!” Lionel said, and Michael, face still pain stricken, was forced to stand up straight as the Governor turned back around so that no further suspicions would be raised. “Come, these are best enjoyed with a good glass of scotch.”

The two men left the office again, and Kara turned to Lena, eyes wild.

“Bridesmaid?” she hissed angrily. “ _Bridesmaid_?”

“I’m sorry!” Lena replied, “I panicked!”

“Well that is just wonderful, Lena. I shall just be a happy participant in your _sham_ of a wedding to that vile _worm_ of a man, is that it?”

“It was the only thing I could think of to explain our…closeness, Kara. I am sorry. Truly. But, well, you know, perhaps this is not the worst thing in the world. Hell, if you keep knocking around Michael, or, Mon El, whatever his name is, as you just did, you might just make this whole arrangement tolerable.”

Kara sighed.

“Injuring him is immensely satisfying, I will admit that.”

“See? We can get through this. Together.”

Kara shook her head, considering Lena and her plan with considerable pessimism.

“Apparently we will have to. But I would like to state, for the record, that assisting you in marrying that _boy_ is one of the worst things that has ever happened to me. And that is coming from someone who watched their home planet explode.”

Unable to say anything that would make the situation better, Lena simply reached out and squeezed Kara’s hand.

The two girls emerged from the office with painted on smiles, and Lena wished more than anything that she could attempt to get drunk again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE I BLATHER ON I HAVE TO SAY HI TO A FRIEND AND READER, SARAH. She never talks to me. She might even be a cryptid. But that's okay. You and your wife are both lovely, and i appreciate both of you <3 (I dont really think you're a cryptid dont hate me... :D )
> 
> ANYWAY it's been a-fucking-while, fam! Feels like forever! The writing has slowed down a bit, but I managed to give you guys something to savor until I get my shit together. In all honesty i didnt plan this ridiculous goddamn rom com "oops im in love with my bridesmaid" NONSENSE it literally just appeared on the page on its own. IDK. But it's about to get WILD. (PS I dont want anyone to think this at all reflects my real life wedding process. My fiance is lovely and i love all of my bridal party the appropriate amount)
> 
> Comments and kudos make this hobbyist writer very happy. Come chat and bug me all you want, i am an open book in need of inspiration to keep up with these two hopeless nerds and their endless drama. Remember when i didnt think this story would be very long? HAH. Okay, tess, sure...
> 
> Love yinz, byeeee! <333


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner at the Luthors, and a precursor to Lena's sexual awakening...

Kara seemed uneasy when emerged with Lena from the Governor’s office. Which was to be expected, given the situation, but this was different. It occurred to Lena that Kara was not used to being noticed at occasions such as this. She usually blended into the crowd, a stealthy observer, and sometimes perpetrator, depending on the task given to her. The fact that even her name had been revealed likely was upsetting to her. Lena realized that had forced her into the light without her permission, and she felt intensely guilty upon making that realization.

To drive that point home, Lillian appeared in front of them in moments, observing Kara carefully.

“Your father just told me the news,” she said. “You must be Kara.”

Kara attempted a smile. It was thin and strained. She put her hands behind her back instead of reaching out to greet Lillian. She was nervous. It was not something Lena was not used to seeing.

“That would be me,” Kara replied blankly.

Lillian didn’t miss the lapse of manners Kara showed by not shaking Lillian’s hand.

“Curious, Lena,” Mrs. Luthor said, now turning to her daughter, “That you never mentioned this girl who you are apparently so close to as to have in your wedding.”

“Is it curious, mother?” Lena replied innocently.

Lillian pursed her lips, holding back whatever biting remark was behind them.

“You are neglecting our guests. Perhaps I should ask your friend to leave if her presence will continue to distract you from your duties?”

Out of the corner of her eye, Lena saw Kara transform as a result of the comment. Her shoulders stiffened, her jaw clenched, and she balled her fists at her sides. She was likely about to react in a way that Lena knew would end badly. Luckily, before Lena had to come up with a way to calm her, Lionel appeared, as if responding on instinct to his wife’s incoming wrath.

“Nonsense, darling!” he beamed. “In fact, I was just about to ask Kara to stay for dinner! How about it, dear girl?”

Kara blinked, confused.

“But we just had lunch,” Kara replied.

Lionel chuckled at her bewilderment.

“Yes, of course, dear. But after such an eventful morning, I thought it might be easier on you to simply rest up here with the rest of the girls. And anyway, I’m home so little anymore, I would love to get to know Lena’s friends while I can.”

“Lionel, really, I am not sure that…” Lillian attempted to interrupt, but she failed as Lionel spoke over her, simply restated his request to Kara.

Kara still seemed confused, but she agreed to Lionel’s invitation as politely as she could. She could not help herself, however, from sending quick scowl in Lillian’s direction. Lena made sure to whisk Kara away from her mother before things escalated any further.

The engagement party went smoothly after that. So long as Kara stayed by Lena’s side, the guests seemed to refrain from seeking Lena out as much, and instead turned their attention to the lucky parents of the betrothed couple.

And what a show they put on. Lillian and Rhea were charming, funny, and believably humble. Lionel, politician that he was, had no trouble working the room. The Mayor was in attendance at least, but Kara was realizing that he was a man of few words, leading to wonder how he ever got into his position at all. Or perhaps he simply chose to remain quiet when the topic at hand was his replacement son.

Soon enough, the party had ended, and anyone who was invited to stay for dinner had gone off into their designated places. The men, including Lionel, Lex, Michael, and some of Lionel’s close friends, adjourned to the Governor’s office for more cigars and brandy, save for the Mayor, who found an excuse to retreat home. The women, being Lillian, Lena and Kara, headed upstairs to rest up. Kara, however, was not tired, as evidenced by her pacing within Lena’s room.

*

“What exactly are we supposed to be doing until dinner?”

“Uh, sleeping, if you are so inclined,” Lena replied, the leftover champagne in her system making her body feel heavy as she sat on her bed, leaning against the wall behind her, holding a book in her lap though she had no intention of actually trying to read it.

“Why?” Kara asked.

“Because we have nothing else to do until dinner.”

“Well what are the men doing downstairs?” Kara asked impatiently.

“Talking about politics or something in a haze of smoke, probably.”

“But why?” Kara asked again, completely perplexed. “What is this human tradition of wasted afternoons that I am not aware of?”

Lena sighed at Kara’s continued questioning, wishing for a moment of quiet so that she could decompress after a surreal and trying day.

“I don’t know, Kara. It is just something people of high society do. Well, southern high society, anyway. Father always did romanticize the whole ‘southern gentleman’ lifestyle.”

Kara scoffed.

“Which part of it? The stupidly long social occasions part of the abhorrent ignorance of basic human rights part?”

“You can ask him that when you see him at dinner,” Lena replied flippantly.

“Ugh!” Kara groaned, flopping dramatically onto Lena’s bed. “This is ridiculous. You really just sleep away the day between lunch and dinner?”

“Not all the time. Sometimes I read. Or draw. I tried sewing but needles and I do not agree with one another.”

Kara sat back up, looking around like a feral cat looking for an escape from an intimidating presence. Her eyes landed on Lena’s window.

“Well you do that, and I will just…pop out for a while.”

“Kara, please stay put. The last thing I need is my mother spotting you trying to sneak away from my father’s hospitality.”

Kara turned to face Lena, sitting at the foot of the bed.

“And that is another thing that bothers me. I do not like how that woman speaks to you.”

Lena shrugged.

“I do not like how Astra speaks to you.”

Kara rolled her eyes.

“That is an entirely different matter.”

“How?”

Kara chose not to reply.

“So the women really all just take a communal nap together?” she said after a moment, seemingly desperate to change topics.

“Evidently,” Lena replied flatly.

“You all just…lock yourselves away in bedrooms. With no men. For hours. And you just…sleep?”

“What are you getting at, Kara?” Lena asked, eyes rolling because she was sure Kara was going nowhere good with her line of reasoning.

“Nothing,” Kara replied with an innocent shrug. “I just…you know, I cannot help but think that some of you might take the opportunity to have some _fun_ with one another.”

Lena swallowed, mouth suddenly dry.

“Not that I know of,” she deflected. “Besides, I usually am up here by myself, anyhow.”

A devilish smile crept onto Kara’s face, one Lena really wished she had the power to ignore, instead of staring at the way her lips moved and the way her nose crinkled from the effort.

“You can have fun by yourself, too, of course,” Kara said, gaze unforgivingly locked on Lena.

Lena cleared her throat.

“I haven’t a clue what you mean, Kara.”

“Oh, come on, Lena,” Kara said, scooting a bit closer to Lena on the bed. “Of course you do! You can tell me.”

“Kara! In all seriousness, there is nothing to tell!” Lena replied emphatically.

Kara furrowed her brow.

“Really?” she asked in disbelief.

“Really.”

“So you have never…” Kara trailed off, eyes moving from Lena’s face to below her abdomen, then back up, brows raised suggestively. “Gotten more familiar with yourself?”

“I…” Lena stumbled, shocked by Kara’s crassness. “No, Kara! Why would I?”

“What do you mean _why_? Lords, Lena, how is that even a question? I knew you humans had a habit of gatekeeping women’s sexuality, but _really_ …”

Lena all but physically squirmed under Kara’s line of questioning.

“Kara, I am not comfortable talking about this, especially with you, could we _please_ …” Lena pleaded.

“Why can you not talk to me about it? We are friends, after all. _Just_ friends,” she emphasized with a hint of bitterness. “And as such I am concerned for you. If you will not learn the feel and the…the _rhythm_ of your own body, how can you expect anyone else to? What, you think Michael will take the time to discover such secrets?”

“Kara!” Lena squeaked indignantly. “I certainly should hope not!”

“So, what, you will just stay celibate your whole life? Wait no, Lillian expects children, of course. So, what, you wish to remain _unsatisfied_ your whole life, then?”

“Kara, for the love of _God_ ,” Lena groaned, face burning crimson. “Please stop.”

“Alright,” Kara grumbled. “This does explain a lot, though. If I would have known how inexperienced you were…I never would have taken it so personally when you did not pick up on my advances towards you early on…”

“What advances?” Lena asked.

Kara shook her head in reply to Lena’s query, seeming lost in thought.

“Can I ask just one more thing?”

“I have not managed to stop you yet,” Lena replied bitterly.

“Would you at least be _open_ to the idea of a bit of self-exploration?”

Lena blinked. Just how was she supposed to answer that question?

“I…I suppose so? I don’t know, Kara.”

Kara studied Lena’s eyes a moment.

“That is a good enough answer for me. Now move over.”

“Why?” Lena said in a half panic, afraid that Kara meant for her to do so _now_.

“So I can try out this ridiculous napping tradition of yours, of course,” Kara said, bumping Lena with her elbow so she would make room for her friend to lie next to her. “Why, what did you _think_ I wanted to do?” she teased.

“I will make you sleep on the floor,” Lena snapped, but allowed her friend room on the bed anyway.

Lena tried not to think on what Kara was talking about…self-exploration and all that. Truthfully, Lena had never really thought on it. She was aware of the basics of sex in general. And as far as the _parts_ she had which were intended for such things, well, she supposed at some point she had learned to ignore them. She remembered the shock of womanhood arriving when she was fourteen or so. She had learned from the example of her mother to simply hide her ‘shame’ when it arrived every month by way of relative seclusion. She remembered feeling betrayed by her body, feeling like it was keeping her from living her life as freely as she wished. She got the hang of the ‘shame’ after a few years; the disruption became normal for her, but it still left her with a general displeasure for the parts that created the disruption in the first place. They were nothing but a problem, in her mind. And that thought was only solidified as she got older, hearing stories of women shaming their families by letting some man take control of what was theirs and leaving an unwanted burden behind. Truly, it seemed like there was no benefit to being a member of the female sex. So it was shocking and strange for Lena to hear Kara talk about the topic with such delight and intrigue. She had never heard a woman talk about such things in such a manner. It left Lena with an almost imperceptible curiosity scratching at the back of her mind.

But she was tired. So she forgot about it for now.

Once settled in to her spot on the bed next to Lena, Kara sighed, her chest sinking deeply from it.

“You are engaged,” she stated quietly.

Lena looked down at the glittering ring on her left hand, having almost forgotten it was there.

“That I am,” Lena replied calmly, curious to find that the panic that thought had induced in her at the beginning of the day had been replaced with numbness that felt mundane, ordinary, and tired.

While she idly observed her engagement ring, she glanced at Kara’s hands that were clasped in her lap, and noticed that on her right wrist she was still wearing the bracelet Lena had given her, the one that had belonged to Lena’s birth mother.

“I am sorry,” Kara said, fingers of her left hand unconsciously touching the thin gold band of the bracelet in what looked like a familiar motion for her, “about what happened in your father’s study earlier, I mean.”

“It’s alright,” Lena replied softly, trying not to look Kara in the eye. “I did not expect this to be easy.”

Kara’s breath shuddered, but she did not reply.

 

*

 

Soon enough, there was a gentle rap at the door, rousing Lena from the slight veil of sleep she had managed to fall under. She was only mildly surprised to find Kara was not in her bed anymore, but was across the room, sitting at Lena’s desk and reading one of her books.

“Come in,” Kara answered for Lena, giving Lena a quick wink of acknowledgment.

Sam walked in a moment later.

“So I did hear right,” Sam said, shutting the door behind her. “Lena, I know that you must be having a hard time dealing with this whole proposal thing, and I am sorry that you are going through this, I am, but…do you really think it was _prudent_ to…” she glanced at Kara, “I mean…well you know what I mean!”

Lena sighed, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

“Are you referring to my putting Kara in the wedding?” Lena asked.

“Well, yes,” Sam said, looking at Kara again, “Hello again, Kara.”

Kara, who was feigning a deep interest in whatever she was reading, looked up from the pages to nod an acknowledgement to Sam.

“It was an accident,” Lena said simply.

“How do you accidentally put someone in your wedding?”

“By almost being caught kissing them in your father’s study and making up some bridesmaid nonsense to keep anyone from finding out,” Kara replied in a monotone, quiet voice as she continued to pretend to read.

Sam’s eyes went wide.

“Lena,” she said incredulously.

“Kara,” Lena warned.

“Lena?” Kara replied innocently.

“Sam,” Lena said, turning to face her maid. “You are making an awful lot of assumptions, alright? Kara and I were never even…”

Kara blinked as she stared intently at her book.

“We were never anything,” Lena forced herself to say, even though it hurt. 

“Fine. Fine,” Sam surrendered helplessly, “It is none of my business. Just. Come downstairs for dinner as soon as possible.”

“I will. Just let me change first.”

With a nod, Sam left the two girls alone.

Pushing down the frustration she felt bubbling in her chest, Lena stood up and walked towards her closet. Kara remained seated, biting her lower lip. Lena could still see her and her nervous frown out of the corner of her eye as she rummaged through her closet for a dress more appropriate for dinner. She sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Lena asked quietly.

Kara snapped the book shut.

“Will it be okay to just wear this? I did not think to bring…”

Before she could finish her sentence, Lena tossed one of her dresses unceremoniously into Kara’s lap.

“You can wear that if you wish. But I much prefer what you have on now.”

Kara looked up with a small smirk.

“Do you?” she said, a blush forming on her cheeks.

Lena hummed her approval, allowing herself a long gaze on Kara’s form contained within the dark blue silk dress, before blushing herself and turning back to the contents of her closet. They were not in a position to give longing gazes like this anymore, after all.

“What do you like about it?” Kara pushed, preening like a peacock at Lena, head tilted back to expose her neck and cleavage, challenging her.

Lena shook her head. She knew that Kara was just trying to get a rise out of her after likely being upset by her comment to Sam.

“The color,” she replied flatly.

Kara frowned.

“The color? Really?”

“Yes. It's a color I can imagine you…performing heroics in, I suppose.”

Kara furrowed her brow, then seemed to realize what she meant.

“Ah. Yes. For when I use my powers to be some kind of anonymous do-gooder, as you wish me to.”

“Is that such a bad wish to have?” Lena asked as she motioned with her finger for Kara to turn around so she could change.

“I suppose not,” Kara said as she complied with Lena’s request. “I just hope you do not go and pour all these hopes of yours onto me that I am not able to live up to.”

Lena chose to keep her mouth shut rather than pursue any further explanation as to what Kara meant by that.

*

“So, Kara,” Lillian began, barely making it through one sip of her wine glass before pressing Lena’s new friend for information. “How did you become first acquainted with Lena?”

“I am so glad you asked, Mrs. Luthor!” Kara replied, her tone sickeningly sweet. Only Lena likely could guess that it was to mask the venom she hid behind it. “It is actually a funny story. Lena stumbled into my place of work one of the first days your family moved here. She got lost, you see, and I made sure to be the one to get her back on the right track home before someone else did. You simply cannot trust some of the characters in this city, especially if you are a pretty young woman.”

“That is very true, Kara! We surely owe you a debt for taking care of our little girl,” Lionel replied through a mouthful of roast beef.

Lillian was not as easily won over as her husband, however.

“You work, then, Kara?” She asked, tone unreadable.

“Yes, ma’am,” Kara replied. “Not all of us can be so lucky as to marry as strategically as you have, Mrs. Luthor.”

Lena coughed into her water glass. Lillian’s eyes went cold.

“And what is it you do for work, if I may ask?” She said slowly.

Kara took a large bite of her potatoes, chewing crudely, watching Lillian closely.

“I waitress,” she lied, stare unbroken.

“Hmm,” Lillian replied, “I am sure they are missing you this evening, then.”

Kara swallowed the ridiculous amount of food she had stuffed into her mouth.

“I took the night off,” she replied, shoveling in another mouthful. “It is a special occasion, after all.”

If Lena had been sitting any closer to Kara she would have kicked her under the table to get her to cease her antics. Regretfully, she was seated between Lionel, who was at the head of the table, and Michael, who was not even trying to hide his disinterest in his new fiancé, so she could only try her hardest to give Kara pointed looks.

“You have no husband, then?” Lillian asked.

“I have no interest in one,” Kara replied.

“Cheers to that,” Lena only barely heard Lex mutter into his wine glass he used to hide his bubbling laughter from as a result of the standoff between the two formidable women.  

“And your parents, they have no issue with your…life choices?”

“Oh, I am an orphan, actually. So…I can only assume so, Mrs. Luthor.”

“An orphan,” Lillian declared, turning to her husband with wild eyes. “How interesting!”

Lena cleared her throat.

“Kara has an adoptive family. They are very kind, honest people.”

“Well how nice,” Lionel said, too much scotch in his blood to even realize that his wife all but ready to burst with anger. “What good Christian folks they must be, to take in a child like that. I should love to meet them some time.”

“And I am sure they would love to meet you, sir!” Kara beamed. “I myself would never have thought in my wildest dreams that I would one day be sitting at the dinner table of the Governor of Pennsylvania. What a true blessing this is!”

“I am sure the free meal is exciting to you as well,” Lillian muttered to herself, but by the way Kara’s head eyes quirked up from her plate to the woman across the table from her, Lena was sure that she heard her.

“Now, Governor Luthor” Kara pressed on as if she had not noticed Lillian’s quip, “I hear you are quite close with the President of the United States. Is that true? I would love to hear more about the leader of this great nation.”

“Well!” Lionel said excitedly, “You heard correct! In fact…”

And with that, Lionel was on track to dominating the conversation for the rest of the meal. Helping herself to another thick slice of roast beef, Kara glanced up at Lena, who mouthed a stern “ _behave_ ” in her direction. Kara shrugged innocently, mouthing “ _she started it_ ” in reply, and taking a long gulp from her wine glass with a wink to Lena.

*

Kara found an excuse to leave just as soon as she had inhaled her dessert. Lena walked her out.

“I am sorry for my mother’s behavior,” Lena apologized sincerely. “You know what? You have my permission to speak to her as flippantly as you wish. Someone should.”

Kara let out a hearty chuckle, the sound of it like the sweetest music to Lena’s starved heart.

“At one point I thought she was going to start shrieking at me like a boiled over tea kettle. I truly did,” Kara said through more laughter.

Lena figured that Lillian was somewhere nearby observing them. But it did not matter to her now.

“Thank you for being here with me today. I do not think I could have handled it on my own.”

“You always have Sam to look after you.”

“Much as I love her, she is still on the payroll of the woman orchestrating this whole mess.”

Kara let out an exaggerated gasp.

“She works for Astra? I had no idea!” Kara joked.

That only reminded Lena more of their harsh reality.

“Where are you going tonight? Back to the Danvers?”

Kara shrugged. Her silence told Lena more than she wanted to know.

“I see,” Lena said quietly. “She’s forgiven you then?”

Kara sighed, pushing past the new set of unspoken rules built between them like a wall just to place a soft palm on Lena’s cheek.

“Do you trust me?” she asked.

Lena nodded silently, relishing in the touch.

“Then trust that I know what I am doing. Or at least trust that I am tough enough to handle her from here on out. Okay?”

Lena knew that if she spoke her voice would break with emotion, spilling out so many things that she did not have the courage to say. She only nodded again.

Without warning, Kara pulled Lena into a tight hug.

“Just promise me you will not let your mother pick out my dress for your wedding, hmm?”

Lena laughed, and pulled regretfully away from Kara’s embrace.

“I will do my best,” she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LISTEN I AM SO SORRY THIS UPDATE TOOK SO LONG. WITHOUT A STRICT SCHEDULE TO ADHERE TO I AM JUST TRASH. But listen this chap is being directly followed by chap 13 that i'm literally editing rn on split screen. 
> 
> and oh boy listen chapter 13 is gonna have sin in it okay? 
> 
> And since i'm trash, go ahead and queue up Sedated by Hozier and Goddess by Cobi to play while reading chapter 13 bc those direct 2 songs along with Lena's "I dont think about you while i'm doing it" line (btw oh my GOD) are my direct inspirations for what is about to follow. 
> 
> Love yinz, sorry i took so long. i miss you guys!!!!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ATTN. This chapter contains a sex scene. As this story started off as not rated, I do not want anyone who wishes to avoid such content to be discouraged. So, the scene in question will be punctuated with this symbol:  
> <<<>>>  
> At the beginning and end of the scene. If you wish to skip the scene, simply look for these symbols.  
> Thank you!

In the days that followed Lena’s abrupt engagement, she caught herself thinking that she wished she had gotten engaged sooner, if only because it gave Lillian something to focus on other than monitoring her every move. It was amazing to see how much effort Lillian put into the wedding plans. You would think she was planning some sort of royal celebration, and not a union of two people who could barely stand to acknowledge one another.

Then again, as Lena was told repeatedly, the wedding of the Mayor’s son and the Governor’s daughter was easily going to be the social event of the year, so they may as well have been royalty.

Lena felt strangely detached from the whole thing. Lillian expected her to accompany her to certain places: florists, bakeries, photographers. Lillian was especially excited about the prospect of a photo being taken, seeing as such a thing had not been possible when she had been married. But Lena was not expected to really contribute to the decision making. Really, all she had to do was half-heartedly nod in approval towards whatever thing had been deemed satisfactory by her mother. After a while, Lena actually started carrying a book around to read while Lillian delegated her vision to any and everyone who could be paid to bring it to fruition.

At least the bakery let Lena eat as much cake as she wanted.

Wedding planning was more noticeably bothersome when Rhea showed up to offer her opinions and assistance. She still insisted on acting as if the whole thing was genuine, prodding Lena with endless queries and empty conversation, desperate to find some kind of connection to her future daughter-in-law.

Michael, unsurprisingly, got the better end of the deal. Not only did he spend most of his time drinking with Lex while the women planned, but Lena also noticed that ever increasingly, available women would try and sweet talk him away from his betrothal, seeing the whole thing as some kind of game in which he was the prize.

 _By all means, take him_ , was Lena’s usual internal reaction.

Lena was truly _miserable,_ however _,_ was when she was expected to help choose the house to live in with her future husband. They looked at what had to have been at least a dozen places in the city. And, objectively, there was nothing wrong with any of them. Lena could see herself living in any of them.

But the trouble arouse when Lillian would pull her around the interior of each home, shoving her into various kitchens, leisure rooms, and bedrooms, insisting she sit at chairs, couches, or mattresses.

“Now, Lena, can’t you just imagine eating dinner here with your husband?” she would say. “And what about here? I can just see you teaching your children to play the piano in here. Oh and this room, is it not perfect for you to settle into after your honeymoon?”

And Lena could picture all of it. She could. And that was the problem. She could see some future version of herself projected just in front of her, expression blank, small wrinkles formed around eyes that had lost their light a long time ago. Children that looked too much like their father would dance around her, urging her to play with them. Michael and his bitter boredom would be standing at the opposite side of the room, sipping his scotch, wondering how much longer he had to engage with his family before he could slip away to some mistress across town.

It made her sad. It made her nauseous. Sometimes it made her chest tighten, her vision blur, and give her an overpowering urge to flee from the house altogether so that she could catch her breath outside of the visions that just would not stop.

*

It was the end of a long day. Lena was hiding in her room after yet another dinner Michael had been asked to join in on. He had actually made a point to try and spark a conversation with Lena, perhaps because he was just as desperate to find some hope in their arrangement as she was. The most shocking part of it was that Lena found herself able to talk to him. She even laughed at a joke he had made at her brother’s expense. And that somehow made everything worse. Lena could feel herself giving in to everything, she found herself wanting to make it tolerable. The fight was all but gone in her, and she didn’t even have the energy to mourn that fact.

Perhaps this was just what life was.

There was a tap at her window that pulled Lena out of her thoughts. The sounds of it made her jump. Before she could even see who it was, the window swung open, and Kara came clamoring in, looking slightly windblown from the trip. She settled into a setting position on the window sill, feet dangling just above the floor. She was back to her habit of wearing masculine clothing; white button down shirt, dark brown pants, and a light brown flat cap, her hair tied up and tucked beneath it, hands casually thrust into her pockets, legs crossed at the ankle. Lena had begun to prefer this look on Kara as of late. Not that Kara’s taste in tight dresses were not enough to make Lena woozy, but something about Kara’s demeanor when she wore more boyish clothes was attractive to Lena in a completely different way. It was like she was two people. The Kara who presented as feminine was devilish, impulsive, sharp as cut glass, and breathtaking. The Kara who presented as more masculine was relaxed, confident yet shy, flirtatious yet respectful, and infectiously playful when she chose to be.

“Hi,” Kara said, a coy smile tugging at her lips as if she was trying to hide it.

Lena never knew what to expect when Kara chose to drop into her life. This time, Kara seemed bashful, kicking the inside wall of the room idly, eyes flicking around her surroundings, only looking at Lena once every few seconds.

“Miss Danvers,” Lena replied.

Kara’s nose crinkled at the formal way Lena acknowledged her, and she lifted her head to look Lena straight on, her legs stilling from their idle kicking.

“Are you alright?” Kara asked.

“Yes, why?”

She shrugged.

“You seem…deflated, I guess.”

“Hmm, well, wedding planning is in full swing. It can be tiring.”

Kara raised a questioning eyebrow at Lena, leaning in slightly, hands still tucked into her pockets.

“Wedding planning? Really?”

“I am the bride, Kara, I do have to participate in the process every now and again.”

Kara stuck her tongue out in disgust, leaning back again, and then that tentative demeanor was back again.

“Would you like to get away from it for a while?” she asked.

“What, right now?” Lena asked in disbelief.

“Well, yes. Hence my showing up at your window, Lena.”

Lena bit her lip, wondering if it was a good idea to follow Kara’s lead as blindly as she had in the past. Things were different now. She could no longer just let herself be caught up in Kara’s intoxicating orbit. She was spoken for now, even if she did not want to be.

“What did you have in mind?” she asked cautiously.

Kara looked up at Lena with a smile that was too mischievous to fool Lena in to thinking that Kara had anything innocent planned.

“I have an idea. And if I tell you what it is now, you will undoubtedly say no outright. But you have said that you trust me, Lena, and as such I am just asking that you trust me now and come with me.”

“Where?” Lena asked.

“I cannot tell you.”

“Well what if I hate the idea?”

“Then I will bring you right back home.”

Lena narrowed her eyes, considering Kara’s offer. There was no way that this was going to end well. And yet she found herself agreeing anyway.

“Just…fly low, would you?”

Kara beamed.

But, she had to, of course, give Lena time to change into something more fitting, Lena bemoaning all the while that she could not possibly find a suitable dress if she did not know exactly where they were going.

“Where’s that dress you wore to the Governor’s Ball?” Kara asked, feigning disinterest in Lena’s whole routine as she inspected her fingernails for impurities.

“The magenta one?” Lena replied, plucking it out of the back corner of her closet and holding it out for Kara to observe.

“Yes. That one. I like you in that one.” Kara swallowed, seeming to catch herself. “Now put it on and let’s _go_.”

*

A short flight later, and they touched down at an unfamiliar alley in an unfamiliar part of town. To the casual observer, such as Lena, there seemed to be nothing to see in this alley, just high walls to buildings in disrepair and a general feeling of unease. In short, it was like every alley Lena had come across in her time living in Philadelphia so far. It was not until Kara walked ahead of Lena and towards a singular door painted a shockingly bright red that she even noticed its existence. Confused as to how she had missed such an eyesore in the middle of the alley, Lena scurried to catch up to Kara just as she lifted it’s large, golden doorknocker.

With a self-assured smile, Kara stepped ahead of Lena and tapped the knocker against the door two times, then paused, then knocked three more times, then paused again, and then finally knocked once more. A moment later, the door swung open as if on its own, and Kara stepped in, turning towards Lena and beckoning for her to follow with a crook of her finger and a wicked smile. Breathing past the pull of nerves in her stomach, Lena followed Kara’s lead.

Directly ahead of them was a set of black steps leading up to a narrow doorway to the right, from which was radiated dim red hues of light and lively piano music.

Kara ascended the stairs silently, Lena close behind. When they reached the top, Lena peered into the open doorway, and felt her jaw drop at the spectacle before her.

Before the two girls was what Lena could only describe as a cross between a club and a miniature opera house. Directly in front of them, past the haze of tobacco smoke, were dozens of tables and booths pointed towards one of two small stages opposite each other on the east and west walls. Pianos were set up next to each of the small stages, the different tunes of each mingling together in a dizzying dissonance. Directly to Lena’s right was a rather large wraparound bar manned by two men in tuxedos and three women in sinfully tight, low-cut corsets.

Most notably of all was what was happening up on the stages. While the club was so large that the farthest stage was not as easily visible to Lena, the closest stage was all too clear. An ensemble of four women in matching purple corseted dresses danced in synch with each other, twirling their skirts this way and that, lifting them up in teasing cycles, hinting at some hidden splendor underneath, much to the delight of the patrons surrounding the stage, who watched with unbroken, almost hypnotized focus.

Lena was frozen in place, mouth still agape as she found herself being caught by their hypnosis, watching unbrokenly to see if and when the girls dancing would fulfill the unsaid promises their seductive dance made.

“Kara, what on Earth is this place…” she said dumbly as she continued to watch.

“Why, honey, you don’t know?” a feminine voice asked to her right. Lena turned, and saw that the voice belonged to a small, thin woman wearing thick rouge and a blood red dress with black lace accents. “You’re at the Cat Club.”

There was clearly some kind of familiarity between Kara and this woman, because Kara made quick work of pulling the woman into a tight, intimately personal hug.

“Miss Grant!” she said excitedly into the woman’s shoulder before pulling away again, her hand lingering on the woman’s forearm. “How are you?”

“Better, I suppose,” she said, looking down at Kara’s touch, then letting her eyes roam up her frame and down with a heated determination “now that you have resurfaced. I did not give you permission to become like a ghost to me these past few months.”

“Oh, I am sure you did not even notice my absence.”

“Hmm,” the woman mused, her fingers tracing up and down Kara’s forearm like it was a well-known path to her, “Well, I do know how to stay entertained, don’t I? Though I will say that Astra has…softened since your return.”

Kara’s eyes unwittingly darted to Lena and back to Miss Grant.

“Who told you I was back working for her?” Kara asked.

“Oh, you know how fast news travels in the inner circle of sinners we are all members of, my dear,” she said, taking one of Kara’s hands, palm up, and tracing the lines of it with long, dexterous fingers. Kara seemed to freeze beneath the woman’s touch. “Although I was surprised to hear that you came back to her at all,” she continued, “after she threw you to the dogs like that. I swear on my life, Kara, I would have never forgiven her if she had let such a beautiful face as yours gain a few scars.”

Kara did not respond, glancing again at Lena with an unreadable expression.

“Sore subject, perhaps?” Miss Grant said, seeming to sense the energy between the two girls. “I shall move on then. Come, sit, make yourselves comfortable.”

It wasn’t a suggestion. Despite her size, the woman showed considerable strength as she grabbed each of the girls by the wrist, pulling them over to a chair near the stage where the girls were dancing, and sitting them down, taking the chair between them for herself. “Now. Is this Miss Luthor?”

Lena’s eyes went wide with panic at the idea of the Governor’s daughter being named at a place like this. Kara seemed to realize this.

“Oh, now, there is no need to look so fear stricken, girl,” Miss Grant reassured her, her familiar touch now moving on from Kara to rest on Lena’s forearm. “No one will ever know you have been here. Cat Grant,” she said, extending her other hand to Lena in greeting. “Keeping secrets is what keeps me in business. Now…”

She leaned towards Lena, considering her like a painting in a museum, or like an animal up at auction. After a moment’s consideration, she reached a hand up to Lena’s face, grasping her chin between her thumb and pointer finger, and tilting Lena’s face this way and that.  

“Well what exactly am I working with here, Kara? What is her…damage?

“She’s getting married to a fool who is utterly uninterested in her.”

“Uninterested? Is he _blind_? I mean look at her,” Ms. Grant replied incredulously, releasing her grip on Lena’s chin to touch a lock of her hair, eyes boring into Lena with surprising intensity. “She’s flawless. Has anyone ever told you that, Lena?”

“I…” Lena struggled to say, but no other words managed to come out, as she felt a flush grow on her cheeks from the sudden unbroken attention from the woman standing in front of her.

“Oh goodness,” Cat said with a sigh, “It’s worse than I thought. Well, not to worry, I’ll take good care of her. Now,” she turned towards the bar and snapped her fingers together twice. In a second, a waiter had arrived with two glasses of a neon green liquid that looked worrisomely potent. She had never had it, but she knew absinthe when she saw it. “You two have a drink and make yourselves comfortable. I’ll be back in just a moment and then we can get started.”

With a promising wink, Miss Grant excused herself to some dark hallway across the club. Kara sat back comfortably in her chair, watching the girls on the stage as they danced, bringing the drink to her lips.

“She is…personable,” Lena said, not even wanting to touch the small glass her drink was contained in.

“Hmm, I guess she is,” Kara replied casually.

“You two seem to be rather close,” Lena pressed, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Kara gave Lena a sideways glance, her lips pulling into a smirk.

“Why Lena Luthor, is that jealousy is sense?”

Lena blinked, deciding to take a long drink from her glass to distract from the blush creeping onto her cheeks.

“I am not jealous.” she finally replied. “And I would not judge you if you had..well…she is…attractive, after all.”

Kara scoffed, seeming to become a tad bit frustrated with Lena’s insistence to press the matter any further.

“Ask me whatever it is you are trying not to ask me.”

Lena did not know why she could not just drop it. She did not know why her mind spurred her on. Was Kara right? Was this what jealousy felt like?

“Were you ever intimate with her?”

Kara sipped her drink.

“Yes.”

Lena swallowed back a lump in her throat with a hasty gulp of the green spirit in her glass, frustrated with herself, her emotions, and with the truth. She quickly regretted that decision, sputtering and choking on it as it burned its way through her.

“Not jealous, huh?” Kara said, an amused smile breaking through the mask she wore made of stubbornness and frustration with her friend. “Look, Lena, not everyone can just hide their desire away in the recesses of their mind and forget about it like a trinket gathering dust in a cupboard.”

“Is that what you think I have done?” Lena asked incredulously, voice still slightly hoarse from the absinthe.

A roll of Kara’s eyes was all she needed to provide as an answer.

“The point is, I have known for some time that I do not have traditional desires by your human standards. And on this backwards little planet of yours I had little opportunity to…experiment. And Cat…well, Cat considers herself to be a collector.”

“Collector of what, exactly?” Lena asked, already forgetting her episode from a moment earlier and reaching for her glass again.

“Of virginities,” Kara replied bluntly. 

Lena coughed, trying to keep the liquid in her mouth from spilling out onto the table in front of them.

“Oh do not be so dramatic. And I am not ashamed of it, I will have you know. I learned a lot from Cat. About myself. About women…how they feel, what makes them…” her words dropped off, a flush settling onto her neck and chest. In front of them, the piano player sped up the tempo of a new song, and the girls spun in a feverish new pace. “Anyway,” Kara continued, “our time together played itself out. I got wrapped up in someone new, and it just made things with Cat feel hollow and far too much like a transaction.”

“And who was this new person?” Lena inquired despite her better judgement. Her thoughts had begun to muddle together in a haze.

Kara let out a long slow sigh.

“Do you even have to ask?” she said quietly.

Lena promptly snapped her mouth shut, wishing she had never said anything about it. For a whole minute she was able to remain silent, until her mind started working again.

“So then, considering what you have just told me, why exactly am I here?”

Kara finished her drink, the fingers of her right hand flexing agitatedly and then settling on her own lap, smoothing the fabric of her pants.

“Well after that talk we had the other day, I could not just let you walk into a marriage without any idea of how to…well, you know…take care of yourself…”

Kara’s eyes flicked down Lena’s form, and Lena remembered the very personal line of questioning Kara had given her the day of her engagement about how _familiar_ Lena was with herself and her femininity and how Kara seemed to believe she needed to find that familiarity if she was going to survive a loveless marriage. She remembered because she had thought about it quite a few times since it had happened. But when Lena realized why she was mentioning it now, her eyes grew wide.

“Kara what exactly did Miss Grant mean by _taking good care of me_?”

“Just that…well, I may have mentioned to her that you needed a few pointers on the subject of, erm, self-satisfaction?”

Lena could feel her cheeks burning. The piano player raged on through the number. The sound of fabric shuffling together filled Lena’s ears as the dancers spun and spun, twisted and twirled, dipped and rolled, sweat glistening on their chests and foreheads.

“Kara,” Lena warned, trying to keep a grip on reality as the absinthe took a firm grip on her mind. “I do not intend to become a part of Cat’s collection, if that is what you had in mind.”

“What? Of course that is not what I had in mind! That would be…just…too weird. No. That is _not_ what I meant. Just trust me, Lena, I would not put you in the care of anyone I thought would not respect your boundaries completely.”

“Kara!”

Before Kara could further explain just what exactly she had gotten Lena into, Miss Grant reappeared behind them.

“Ready to get started then, Lena?”

Lena stumbled to her feet, nearly toppling onto their host, anxious to flee the scene.

“I am sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Grant, but whatever Kara told you to do to me, I am not interested.”

Cat put a soft placating hand on Lena’s forearm, eyes full of kind understanding.

“Dear, before you collapse from nerves, please know that I am not going to _do_ anything to you. This is about you and what you need to discover about yourself. I am not at all a part of that. If you could just give me a chance to show you what I had prepared for you?”

Lena swallowed hard. She would be lying if she said she was not curious. And she did trust Kara enough to believe that she could trust this small, commanding looking woman by extension.

“If I at any point do not wish to continue…” Lena asked warily.

“I will take you straight home,” Kara reiterated. “Just say the word.”

There was a fluttering in her stomach that was more than just nerves. It held a certain hidden excitement that came from the promise that she would discover some unknown sensual experience. And more than that was the thought that Kara would be involved, even if not directly. Taking a long, slow breath, Lena nodded silently to Miss Grant, and, hand still on Lena’s forearm, Cat guided her carefully towards a dimly lit hall that led to more stairs, these ones being more narrow and tucked away than the ones that had led them here in the first place.

At the top of the stairs was a small landing, and a long, slim hallway stretching down to the left. The only light were a few small lamps lit just above eyelevel on along the right wall. Each of the lamps was placed just outside of a door, of which there were four or five. Upon closer inspection, however, Lena discovered that the lamps belonging to the two doors farthest from them were not lit. Cat guided Lena in the direction of those such doors, Kara following silently behind. The fluttering in Lena’s stomach grew stronger. Cat stopped finally at the last door in the hallway, and, after taking a moment to light the door’s lamp, opened the door, wordlessly beckoning Lena to follow. Nerves threatening to get the best of her, Lena spun around to meet eyes with Kara.

“I’ll be right next door if you need me, alright?” Kara reiterated, sensing her hesitation. “And if at any point you want to stop, I will come and get you. I promise.”

Lena tried to ignore the unwelcome thought that creeped into her mind, the one that wished that Kara would join her.

*

 

The room she was led into was more brightly lit than the hallway, having a warm, inviting glow to it. The room itself was divided in two parts. The front of the room, where they were currently standing, was no bigger than a large closet. The rest of the room was on the other side of a semi-sheer curtain of a deep purple shade. Lena looked to her right, and jumped, startled to find that they were not alone. A young blond woman sat in a plush chair, eyes closed, hands clasped over her lap, leaning back in the chair as if in meditation.

Miss Grant cleared her throat, and the woman opened her eyes.

“Tightly wound, this one, hmm?” the woman asked absently, as if she was only half paying attention to her company.

“Incredibly so. Start with the basics, then, yeah?” Cat replied. “No more than what we discussed.”

“I know the drill, Cat. Want me to give Kara her usual?”

“Hmm, just play it by ear. I cannot tell what sort of mood she is in.”

The girl nodded silently, her eyes closing again.

“Now, child,” Cat said, turning to Lena, “you are far too reserved for my taste. You’re a woman, for God’s sake. You have power, and you need to find it. For today, let’s just say that your power resides several inches below your navel.”

Lena was confused for a moment, then her eyes went wide, cheeks flushing when she realized what Cat meant.

“Now, if it were up to me,” Cat said, moving dangerously close to Lena and whispering in her ear, “I would help you find that power with a much more…hands on approach. But Kara gave me strict instruction to restrain myself. Unless…you would be interested?”

Lena stiffened, mouth dry, and said nothing. Cat frowned, giving Lena her personal space back.

“Shame. I’m sure you would have been more than memorable. Gayle will take care of you from here. I’ll be just outside. Good luck.”

With that, Cat excused herself, leaving Lena alone with the woman sitting in the corner, feeling more confused and wary than ever. What exactly was she supposed to be doing with this woman?

“I’m, um, Lena,” Lena said, feeling the need to say something to the stranger.

“Nice to meet you, Lena. My name is Gayle. Gayle Marsh. Miss Grant likes to call me Psy. She thinks she’s clever.”

“I do not understand,” Lena replied, and then was cut short at a sudden feeling of pressure in the base of her skull, radiating dully throughout her head.

“What a shame, you started your fun without me. Not to worry, though. The absinthe will help. Now, what’s going on up in that head, dear?” The pressure in her head pulsed. “Oh, so you do know just how unique Kara is. It’s not often she tells anyone her secret, you should consider yourself one of a privileged few. Of course it was easy to accept her for who she really was, was it not? She must seem like a goddess to you, all that power, all that beauty. She’s not nearly as strange to look upon as some of the other aliens you have met while in her company, is she? And compared to that Daxamite boy you’ve been assigned to…it’s no wonder your eyes wander to her oh so often.”

Lena blinked, unsure of how to answer given the woman’s unexpected knowledge.

“I’m a psychic, dear. I can get inside your mind. This is how we are going to help you with your little _problem_. I will project to you a vision that you will see as clear as if it were reality.”

“What kind of vision?” Lena asked tentatively.

 _“Whatever vision you need,”_ Gayle said. But Lena realized a moment after she had spoken that she hadn’t actually spoken at all. Gayle was now in her head, projecting her voice into it as if she were whispering in her ear. _“Go ahead through that curtain there and make yourself comfortable.”_

Letting out a shaky breath, Lena stepped through the curtain. She could just barely see through the curtain as she turned back and saw Cat give Gayle a nod.

The rest of the room on the other side of the curtain was empty, save for a large plush chair directly in the middle of it that faced the far wall. A strip of black cloth was draped over the arm of it.

 _“It’s a blindfold,”_ Gayle’s voice whispered in Lena’s mind. _“Some people find it easier to fall into the vision if they block their own.”_

Something about the energy Gayle gave off through her psychic connection was soothing, almost numbing to the point that Lena felt drunk off of it. Despite the fact that there was a thought repeating itself in her head, saying _“what are you getting yourself into?”_ over and over, she felt her nervousness melt away from her consciousness under Gayle’s control, and she sat in the chair, taking the cloth and covering her eyes with it, tying it behind her head.

“So does…” Lena began.

_“You do not need to speak aloud. The connection goes both ways.”_

Lena cleared her throat.

 _“Does everyone who uses these rooms use them for…well…”_ Lena thought.

 _“Sexual pleasure?”_ Gayle psychically replied, her bluntness making Lena’s throat go dry. _“Not as many of them as you would think. I simply give people what they need. Some people need sex, surely. But some people just need an afternoon on a quiet beach away from their spouses and children. I have a client who is blind, and he comes here with his wife so that he can see her face when they speak to one another.”_

Lena considered Gayle’s answer for a moment

_“And Kara…she comes here often?”_

Gayle was quiet in Lena’s head for a moment.

 _“On occasion,”_ she finally replied carefully.

_“What is it that she needs?”_

_“To be reminded of home, mostly.”_

Lena felt her chest tighten with a surge of sympathy for her friend.

_“And what is it that I need?”_

Lena felt the pressure in her head reappear for a moment.

_“You need to let yourself let go. You need to find something within you that does not need permission to exist. You need to wake yourself up from this hibernation you’ve put your soul into, dear. This is just to give you the push you need to take that journey.”_

Lena swallowed hard, a pull of anxious dread forming in the pit of her stomach.

_“Oh, Lord, Lena, you really have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”_

Lena sighed exasperatedly.

 _“Alright, calm down,”_ Psy placated, _“I’m here to help, alright? Lie back. Take a deep breath. Now I want you to think of somewhere you feel safe.”_

<<<///>>>

Lena breathed slowly, bidding her racing thoughts to slow and adhere to Gayle’s instruction. The pressure in her head returned yet again, but it was not uncomfortable or bothersome. It was simply an indictor to Lena that Gayle was inside her thoughts. The blindfold still on her eyes, Lena’s vision went from a muted blackness to a dim but clear scene in front of her. It reminded her of what it was like to walk into a dimly lit house after spending time outside in the bright sun. Slowly, however, her vision adjusted, and she found herself in her bedroom from her home back in Hannastown. Instead of the chair she had sat in in the room in Cat’s club, she sat on her bed, a book laying open idly on her nightstand, the lit candles indicating that it was dusk outside. She knew that it was only an illusion, but being inside her old bedroom did make her relax, feeling suddenly more secure, less inhibited.

_“Now, Lena, I want you to think of the last time you felt desire. The last time that you felt attracted to someone. Picture that person in your mind. What were they wearing? What were they doing? What made you drawn to them?”_

Lena knew exactly where her mind would wander if she would let it. But she tried to fight those thoughts back, knowing they would only make things more complicated. She tried to think of someone, anyone else. For a moment she let her mind settle on the dancers she had seen downstairs: how they moved and twisted around one another, how they flicked their skirts up in quick flashes of movements, revealing more and more of their thighs with each spin of their dance.

 _“Hmm,”_ Gayle mused, _“a bit predictable, no? Come now, I know there’s been more than that. What’s this memory you’re hiding back in this corner here?”_

Lena was so preoccupied with wondering what the inside of a mind looked like from Gayle’s point of view that she let her venture too deep, and slowly a familiar face tried to push to the forefront of Lena’s thoughts. But there was no way she was going to go there. Absolutely _not_.

She could almost feel Gayle pushing to unlock what Lena was trying to hide, and as Lena fought against it the image of her bedroom began to dissolve back into blackness, only to be replaced with one firm thought Lena sent out.

“Wow,” Gayle said aloud from the other side of the curtain. “You know, I’ve had clients put a wall up with me when I tried to pry but I never had someone actually project a literal _wall_ to block me out.”

The pressure in Lena’s head gained a heavier tingle to it, and with it came a slight stupor.

 _“You are allowed to want what you want here, Lena,”_ Gayle placated within Lena’s mind. _“There is no judgement. No one is here to police how you feel. Alright? Now go back to that safe place.”_

Lena exhaled slowly, and her bedroom came back into view.

“These visions,” Lena asked Gayle out loud, “are you creating them for more than one person at a time?”

“Yes. Four others besides you right now, in fact.”

“Then why are you in here with me and not with anyone else you are working with?”

Gayle sighed in Lena’s head.

“Because you are new. I don’t know you yet; don’t know what it’s like in your head, or what you want. Now stop changing the subject and take that wall down.”

The tingling in Lena’s head strengthened, and, with a shuddering sigh of submission, Lena finally let Gayle explore Lena’s thoughts freely. She relaxed, falling back into the vision of her old bedroom, leaning against the wall her old bed was pressed against, slowing her breathing, and shutting her eyes.

Suddenly, a memory came flooding in, drowning everything else out. It was of the day of Lena’s engagement, in her fathers’ study, where Kara had pulled Lena aside, trying to help her pull herself together before she made a scene at her own engagement party after a few too many glasses of champagne. The smell of stale cigar smoke mingled with the unmistakable scent of Kara’s perfume. Lena opened her eyes, and Kara was there in front of her like she had been that day, her hands on Lena’s hips, blonde hair tickling Lena’s face and shoulders as Kara buried her head in the crook of Lena’s neck, breath hot as her lips nearly grazed Lena’s skin. In the deafening silence of the study, Lena could hear the swishing sound of the dark blue silk of Kara’s dress against her own. There was some urgent feeling gathering between Lena’s legs, a blissful warmth pooling there, begging for attention.

 _“Follow that feeling,”_ Gayle’s voice suggested in an echo, far away from the two girls and their desperate embrace.

In some other layer of the vision, Lena wasn’t with Kara at all, she was still in her old bedroom, alone, safe. She was somehow in both places at once, and also still somewhat aware of her surroundings in the real world back in the private room of the Cat Club. From her bedroom, she felt curious about that feeling. She followed it as Gayle had said, her right hand venturing through the maze of skirts in her dress until she found its source.

In the study with Kara, Lena pushed past the bonds of the memory, forgot that their embrace had promptly ended at the arrival of her father and her new fiancé, and upon forgetting the reality of her memory, tilted her head back against the wall of the study, exposing her neck in a silent plea. Kara’s lips pressed lightly into Lena’s neck, parting slightly so her tongue could trace small circles onto Lena’s pulse point. Lena’s arousal surged, her fingers beginning to explore the folds of her womanhood that were so strangely foreign to her. Back in the study, Lena’s left hand moved to the small of Kara’s back, pulling her in, feeling like they could never be close enough, while her right hand tangled itself up into Kara’s hair. Kara continued at her torturously languid pace, moving her mouth to tug at Lena’s earlobe with her teeth. Every touch of Kara’s mouth against Lena’s skin sent a jolt of feeling down to Lena’s center, which practically pulsed with need. The feeling had a center to it, a source that Lena finally was able to find with tentative fingers, brushing over it in a way that sent another shock of sensation radiating out through her, letting her know that she was on the right track.

“Kara,” she whimpered, not realizing she had done so aloud back in her private room.

 _“Lena,”_ her vision of Kara whispered back, lifting her head and looking at Lena, dark blue eyes searching Lena’s.

Lust still building between Lena’s legs, she pulled Kara desperately into her, their lips crashing together like waves in a storm. As they did, Lena felt herself falling backwards, the vision of the study falling away until she was lying on her bed of her old bedroom, with Kara, now in her more masculine clothing, the same outfit she had had on back in the reality of the Cat Club, appearing on top of her.

“Lena,” Kara repeated, this time her tone more surprised than anything, looking around a moment at the room they were in. But Lena was too riled up by the heat and the urgency of her new found arousal, and pulled Kara into her again on the bed.

Kara froze at the contact of their kiss at first, but then softened, settling into it. Lena could feel Kara relax, settling more of her weight onto her, her lips parting setting a languid pace as she kissed Lena slowly, carelessly, as if she were simply enjoying the feeling of the connection. Lena’s mouth parted as well, allowing Kara to taste her with her tongue. Lena, having only ever been kissed once in her life, quickly and without warning by Kara that night on New Year’s Eve, couldn’t help but wonder how she was so vividly imagining such a different kind of kiss, one so flushed and aimless and chaotic. Lena thought that if this had been reality, she would have stayed like this forever, wasting away whatever time she had on this earth learning every secret that was contained within Kara’s kiss. But at this moment, knowing that this was not real and she could do with this moment whatever she wanted, Lena wanted _more_.

 In a quick movement, Lena shifted the two of them so that Kara was sitting partially up, still leaning heavily into Lena, moving her hands so that she could begin to find the buttons of Kara’s shirt. Kara realized what she was doing, and sat up more, Lena settled into a sitting position, legs crossed in front of her, as she undid the buttons one by one down Kara’s chest, continuing to capture Kara’s lips with her own with quick pecks that made Kara giggle. Fully undone, Kara moved to pull the shirt away from her body, kicking it away onto the floor. She now only had on her usual binding fabric covering her chest.

Lena moved forward to bite playfully at Kara’s neck, feeling no embarrassment or reserve knowing that none of this was real. Back in her private room she found a rhythm of the movements of her fingers, the lust in her building steadily, reaching towards some kind of peak. Kara, taking control again, pressed Lena’s back against the wall behind the bed, and pressed a hand against Lena’s thigh over her dress, suggesting with a gentle squeeze for Lena to spread her legs apart. Lena complied, her arousal now an eager, steady throb that made her cheeks flush and her thigh muscles tense. Kara then traced down Lena’s leg with her fingertips, reaching the base of the dress, then pushing past the fabric, tracing her hand back up against bare skin beneath the dress. Lena shivered, eyes wanting to flutter shut at the bliss of the contact but willing them to stay open so she could watch Kara as she came closer to Lena, leaning in to bring her lips to Lena’s ear.

“Do you know how long I have wanted to do this?” Kara whispered hotly.

Lena swallowed hard, unable to ignore the pressure of her arousal building, aching for Kara to touch her. Emboldened, she reached for the clasp of Kara’s binder, popping it open, and watching as the fabric loosened and unspooled, falling off of Kara’s chest and settling around her waist, her breasts now exposed. Kara blinked a moment, startled, and then watched calmly, fingers tracing patterns on the inside of Lena’s bare thigh as Lena took in the sight of the girl in front of her. She felt her cheeks flush, her breath quicken slightly, her center ache as Kara teased her with such a gentle touch so close to where Lena wanted her the most.

Unable to contain herself any longer, Lena pulled Kara in for another searing kiss, her hands rising to discover the impossible softness of Kara’s exposed skin. Responding to Lena’s advance, Kara moved her hand, finding the place where Lena’s passion had pooled, and touched her there, stroking the small center of Lena’s arousal with a slow, steady pace. It was already enough to make Lena want to crumble under the perceived fantasy of Kara’s touch. Far away in her room at Cat’s club, Lena’s fingers moved to match Kara’s pace, her ecstasy rapidly building towards a climax. Lena began to pant, noises escaping her that she would have found shameful if she were not in the safety of a private room. Kara’s pace began to increase in reaction to the noises Lena made, and back in the private room, Lena’s paced increased as well. She felt close to something, some explosive something that she knew would change her forever. In her bedroom with Kara, she dipped her head down to put her mouth on one of Kara’s breasts, causing Kara to gasp aloud.

“Lena!” Kara moaned loudly.

Lena froze.

That voice had not been just in her mind’s eye, it had also come, simultaneously and muffled, from the room next door, where Kara was.

Within the vision, Lena stopped, pulling away from Kara, eyes wide.

“Kara is this really you?” she asked, and suddenly, the vision broke, and Lena found herself falling into something new.

<<<///>>>

She landed, softly, onto warm, oddly pink colored sand, feeling a hot sun beating down on her as it hung low in the sky, near sunset. She sat up, shocked, and looked around at what looked like a beach, but one so foreign and strange in appearance that it could not have been one that existed on Earth. There were mountains around her that jutted, steep and sharp, like swords into the sky. The water reflected the deep purple color of the looming evening, and the sun that set beyond her was a deep red. Lena was about to panic, but remembered that none of this was real. Looking around, her eyes landed on Kara, who was sitting about twenty paces away, near the edge of the water. If she had been right, if Kara had somehow been in her vision, was Lena now in Kara’s?

“Kara?” she called, approaching the girl.

Lena noticed that Kara’s outfit had changed. She was now wearing a long, form fitting red dress with long sleeves. Kara turned, and Lena could see what looked like a large “S” on her chest. It reminded her of the view she had had of Kara’s chest just a moment ago, and she flushed.

Kara stood when she saw Lena, and moved to close the gap between them.

“I wondered if I would see you here,” Kara said, and moved to kiss Lena, but Lena flinched, pulling away. Confused, Kara sighed.

“Gayle, what game are you playing at this time?” she said, speaking directly to Lena.

Lena realized that Kara likely had no idea that any of what was happening was real, or that Lena herself was real.

“Kara, it’s me. It’s Lena.”

Kara scrunched up her nose.

“What?”

“Kara were you just…were you just in my head? Am I now in yours?”

“In your head? What do you mean by…” Kara looked around in confusion, as if the answers were written in the sand. Then her head shot back up, eyes wide. “Oh, Rao, that was really _you_? That was your…oh, Gods, I wondered why I did not recognize that room! I…” Kara’s face instantly turned a bright crimson. “We…oh, Gods, Lena, I am so sorry…I had no idea…I…”

“You mean you did not know? I thought that you…”

“What? Snuck into your fantasy? I would never do that, Lena! This was never about me! I just wanted you to…oh, Lena, I am so truly sorry.”

“It’s…it is fine,” Lena tried to stammer, “Neither of us knew.”

“Well, no! If I had _known_ that it was real I would have at least put a little more… _finesse_ into what I was doing!”

“Kara, please _stop_ ,” Lena begged, not wanting to have to think any more on it, especially while there was still a bit of discomfort on her end from ending things so quickly.

“I mean it was not _real_ , not really,” Kara continued to ramble, “But I mean, I am just saying that I still would have, you know, taken my _time_ and done things _properly_.”

Despite everything, Lena felt a yearning tug in the pit of her stomach.

“But how is this possible? How are we getting into each other’s heads?” Lena asked, trying to ignore it.

Kara frowned, biting her bottom lip agitatedly.

“I have a theory,” she said with a tone of annoyance. “Gayle?” she called out to the sky. “Gayle! What do you think you’re doing, huh? This is not what we talked about!”

There was no response that Lena could hear, and the vision remained intact.

“That little _witch_ ,” Kara spat. “I will have words with her when we wake up.”

“Where are we, anyhow?” Lena asked, looking around again at the hauntingly beautiful scenery around her.

Kara licked her lips, staying silent.

“Is this your home, Kara? Is this Krypton?”

Kara cleared her throat, her eyes misty as she tried to avoid Lena’s gaze.

“I am sorry, Kara. I did not mean to intrude into this.”

“It’s alright. No more secrets, right? Not about my past, on Earth or…here…”

Unable to help herself, Lena reached out and took Kara’s hands in her own.

“Oh, Kara, I only wished for you not to hide things that involved me directly. But your secrets are you own to keep. I have no right to any of this. And it was wrong of me to push you earlier to tell me about you and Cat. I am sorry. And I am sorry now for this.”

Kara shrugged, looking down at the girl’s entwined hands.

“Well, if I wanted anyone to see this place, it would be you.”

Lena felt her chest tighten. She looked again at the “S” on Kara’s chest, trying her hardest not to reach out and trace the lines of it with her fingers. Kara followed Lena’s gaze, looking down at it as well.

“It’s my family crest. It was on almost everything we wore back home.”

“Seems confining, does it not?” Lena mused. “Being branded by your family like that?”

Kara’s smile seemed sad and sympathetic, her eyes longing with memory.

“You would not think of it that way if your family were kinder to you. Gave you more freedom. Let you choose your own path…”

Lena did not want to think on that. And she did not want to see Kara look as sad as she was any longer.

“So…” she said, desperate to change the subject. “If I had not told you that it was really me, you would not have known?”

“Not at all, no,” Kara said.

“So you are accustomed to fantasizing about the two of us together, then?” she asked, unable to contain a smug smile.

Kara’s jaw dropped at Lena’s brazen question.

“Well,” she struggled to say, “I mean _yes_ , but you do not need to call me out on it like this.” Now Kara was smiling as well. “And you are one to talk, Miss Luthor. Very forward for someone so inexperienced, don’t you think?”

“Well can you blame me?” Lena joked.

“No. I cannot,” Kara said seriously.

At that moment, either the absinthe was wearing off or Gayle’s stupefying psychic effect was dimming, because Lena realized with a tightening in her throat that she had just been so casually joking about something that very well may have blown a hole through the already fragile structure of their friendship.

“What do we do now? Now that…” she began.

“We just…try to go on like normal, I guess,” Kara said, suddenly having a hard time looking Lena in the eye.

Lena felt her throat tighten with emotion.

“I do not know if I can. This is what I was afraid of…”

Lena’s words were cut off as Kara touched her chin, lightly lifting her face so that their eyes met.

“Listen to me. What we did... it was not real. You did not break your promise to your fiancé. You have not done anything wrong. None of this is real, alright?”

“But it _felt_ real.”

“I know. _Trust_ me, I know. But can’t you just let this go on a technicality just this time?”

Lena swallowed hard, the yearning she felt for Kara still raging within her.

“Just this time?” she asked quietly.

“Well,” Kara said with a smirk. “Until we wake up, at least.”

Lena’s breath shuddered as Kara placed a hand around her waist with a familiar touch.

“We are not awake right now, are we?” Lena asked.

Kara stepped in to Lena, Kara’s mouth hovering just beyond Lena’s.

“No, we are not.”

Smiling, not caring that every sensible thought in her head was screaming for her to step away from Kara’s touch, Lena nodded, and let herself be pulled into Kara’s kiss.

 _We will deal with it when we wake up,_ Lena thought. _I hope we never wake up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *flails*  
> Do you know much I just wanted to use the word clit. Like DO YOU?  
> This shit took me way too long to write. To be fair however, writing smut gives me a whole lot of anxiety so I'm just proud of myself for finishing it. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF IT WAS AT LEAST READABLE  
> Come flail with me on tumblr or whatever tf idk.  
> Love yinz, byeeee


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANGST

Lena came to in the warmly lit room of her private room at the Cat Club. Already, what she had seen was fading away like a dream upon waking, fleeing from her memory faster the harder she tried to chase it. She remembered her bedroom, a strange beach, fingers tracing her bare skin…

_Oh._

“Do you want me to take it away?” Gayle’s voice asked from the other side of the curtain.

“What?” Lena asked, feeling her stomach turn uncomfortably as she stepped through the curtain.

“The memory. Do you want me to take it away?”

 _Well, that certainly would make things easier_ , Lena thought. _However…_

 _Lena,_ Kara’s voice whispered longingly from deep within her memory.

“N-no,” Lena said, and before she could doubt her decision, the door behind Gayle burst open.

“Do you have any idea how many ways I can make you pay for that little trick you pulled, Gayle?” Kara bellowed, trying to sound as intimidating as she could, though Lena could not much buy her performance when her nose crinkled so adorably when she was angry.

Kara’s face softened instantly when she saw Lena standing next to Gayle, and she seemed to shrink into herself, eyes darting away shyly.

“I do not know why you are so angry with me, Supergirl. You and your friend here are the ones who took control over the situation. Honestly, I got distracted dealing with another customer for all of a minute and by the time I checked back in with you two you had gone ahead and linked into each other’s visions. And…well…I was not about to interrupt _that_.”

“I asked you to pull us out!”

“I stopped listening in to the vision once all the _moaning_ started!”

“Oh, for Rao’s sake!” Kara fumed.

“Wait, what did you just call Kara?” Lena asked Gayle, distracted by the term she had used.

Gayle smirked. Kara blushed.

“What, Supergirl? Cat loves to give out nicknames. Kara earned that one through performance.”

“Ugh, we are _leaving_ ,” Kara all but growled, throwing the door of the room open and storming out.

Still slightly dazed, Lena could only try and follow so she did not get lost trying to find her own way out. Kara said nothing to Lena. She did not even look at her as she made her way down the stairs, back into the noise and din of the main floor, and through the club, intent on getting out of there as fast as possible. That was, until she all but ran into Cat as she stood at the end of the bar.

“I heard about what happened,” Cat said simply, no attempt at any emotion other than light amusement in her voice.

“Just leave me alone,” Kara snapped, trying to step around Cat, only for her to step in her path again.

“Oh, come now, Kara, it was just a simple misunderstanding. Let me buy you a drink to make it up to you.”

With a sneer, Kara reached behind the bar, grabbed a bottle of absinthe, took an alarming swig of it, and slammed it against the bar, glass and liquid showering all over the bar top as the bottle shattered from the effort. The quick frown Kara made suggested that it was an accidental miscalculation of her strength, but she did not admit it.

“There, I have had my drink. Goodbye.”

Lena followed her silently out as she exited the Cat Club, not trying to speak until Kara continued to keep her feverish pace back out of the alley.

“Kara, Kara, wait!” she pleaded, and Kara stopped in her tracks.

“Are you alright?” Lena asked.

“Just fine,” Kara spat, still turned away from Lena.

“Well why bother lying to me if you are not even going to try to sell it well?” Lena pushed.

She had known Kara and at least some of Kara’s family and acquaintances long enough to have noticed her trend of shutting down on people when she was upset. But she did not want Kara to shut down on her. Not this time.

That was, until Kara turned, revealing eyes shimmering with tears barely contained within them, and she wished that she had.

“What do you want me to say, Lena, huh? What?” she demanded.

Lena blinked away her own surge of emotions that seemed to crop up any time she thought Kara was in pain.

“I want to know that you are not going to disappear on me after this,” Lena said

“Why not? That would be easier! You ask me to _torture_ myself, Lena, by continuing to be so near to you and so far away at the same time.”

“It is not easy for me, either,” Lena said quietly.

Kara attempted to hide her hurt through a hollow laugh that echoed cruelly in Lena’s ears, but the wetness in Kara’s eyes spilled onto her cheeks nonetheless.

“Then make it easy, Lena! Stop telling me to be your friend!” she stepped towards Lena suddenly, the distance between them disappearing too quickly for Lena to handle. “I cannot forget what it is like to have that wall that you put up finally removed from between us.” The fingertips of Kara’s right hand grazed softly up Lena’s forearm. “Do not ask me to step behind that wall again. Let me…”

Lena pulled her arm away from Kara’s touch.

“You deserve more than to be a kept thing by someone who does not have the strength to free herself from her contracts,” Lena said. “It would be selfish of me to keep you when you could be with someone who deserves you, instead.”

Kara scoffed, stepping away from Lena.

“That is a cheap answer,” she said coldly.

“It is the only answer I have,” Lena replied.

“So you are selfish enough to ask me not to leave you, but also selfless enough to tell me that, for my own good, I ought not to love you?”

Lena froze. Kara seemed to realize a moment too late that she had referred to her feelings towards Lena as “love”. She then sighed, shoulders slumping, defeated. Against Lena’s better judgement, she reached out to Kara, taking one of her hands in her own. They stayed like that a moment, standing apart from one another, arms outstretched, fingers entwined, unable to meet each other’s gaze.

It was only then that Lena looked towards the end of the alley and saw a figure in the shadows, watching them. Something about the posture and build of the man in the shadows felt familiar to Lena, but she could not place where from. Realizing what he might have seen, Lena was overcome with panic.

“Kara,” she whispered, eyes wide, still locked on the man. “There is a man watching us.”

Kara turned to look, and the attention of both girls was enough to send the man bolting around the corner of the alley.

“Did he see…” Lena whispered in terror.

“Time to go,” Kara said, and, picking Lena up into her arms, took off into the sky.

In a moment they were in Lena’s room, the window having been left open from their departure.

“Did you recognize him?” Kara asked simply, shaking Lena out of the panic that had overtaken her. “Lena. Lena! Did you?”

“I…I do not know…I could not see his face…”

Kara let out a large breath, fingers running through her hair.

“Okay. Well. I’ll go back and look around. But if he just saw us in the alley, there was nothing to see. Not really.”

“But Kara…”

“There was nothing to see. Alright? Nothing. Just let me worry about it.” She looked out the window at the moon hanging dimly in the sky, the lighter blue color at the base of the skyline suggesting that she sun would soon begin to creep up towards it. “It is late. Try to get some sleep.”

And in the blink of an eye, Kara was gone. But Lena was too afraid to try to sleep, lest she might dream.

 

*

 

Lena did not hear from Kara for several days after their rendezvous at the Cat Club. And anyone who might have suggested that no news was good news had never lived through the anxiety of a civil war. The only thing she could figure was that Kara was trying to maintain some distance from Lena for the sake of her own sanity. And Lena could not blame her for that. As it was, she had lately been doing anything and everything she could think of to keep her brain from idly slipping into the hazy, half-forgotten memories of the two of them wrapped up in each other in her mind’s eye…

No. None of that.

But there was no time to think about Kara or to think of how to distract herself from thinking about Kara today. No. Because today she was going with her mother, Rhea, and Sam to pick out a wedding dress.

And she was just…thrilled about it. Truly.

Sam had allowed Lena to sip on a glass of wine while she wrestled Lena’s hair into a likeness of what Lillian wanted it to look like for the wedding, so that they could design the veil around it accordingly. And lord did she need the wine to numb the pain of Sam torturing her scalp with her relentless tugs and brush strokes.

“Do you put Ruby through this kind of torture when you style her hair?” Lena asked, flinching as Sam yanked a flyaway lock of hair back into its proper place in the large braid forming alongside the right side of her face.

“If I do, she is not half as much of a baby about it as you are. Now drink your wine and quit moving,” Sam retorted, moving Lena’s head back into a position in which it was tilted to the left.

Her right ear now pointed towards her door, Lena was able to hear the remnants of her mother and future mother in law’s conversation as the ascended the steps towards Lena’s room.

“Not that I do not just _love_ your sense of style, Lillian,” Rhea said, voice muffled, “But I have lived in the city longer than your family and therefore know all of the best designers personally. Trust me, this shop is the best we could take our girl to.”

“Oh I do not doubt your connections, Rhea. But I also believe it would be best to put her in the hands of someone who would make sure she is dressed more _modestly_ than perhaps _you_ are used to.”

Lena arched an eyebrow at Sam through the mirror, who did her best to contain a chuckle as the two mothers entered Lena’s bedroom.

“Ready to go, dears?”

“Almost,” Sam mumbled past the hairbrush she was holding between her teeth as she used both hands to wrestle down the last pieces of hair into place.

Walking towards them, Lillian snatched the wine glass out of Lena’s hand just as she was about to take a sip, much to Lena’s dismay.

“None of that, dear, or you will bloat,” Lillian said.

Lena kept her retort to herself, trying not to speak out of turn in front of her future mother-in-law. If Rhea had not been there, however, Lena would have pointed out that a little bloating would just help her get a better idea of what she would look like when she would no doubt be expected to start producing children after the wedding.

It was a painfully slow carriage ride to the dress shop they were expected at. Honestly, how did women with as uninteresting lives as the mothers in her company find so much to talk about? When they finally pulled up to the shop, Lena all but leapt out of the carriage just to get away from the suffocating small talk, Sam right behind her in her effort to escape it as well.

However, upon entering the dress shop, she nearly leapt out of her skin.

“Alex?” Lena asked, shocked, as Kara’s sister’s head poked out from behind a rack of fabric, eyebrows raised from the shock of someone recognizing her. They furrowed slightly when she saw the source of the voice.

“Oh. Hello, Lena. Or should I say. Mrs…whatever your last name is going to be.”

The mothers entered the shop behind Sam and Lena, and Alex straightened her posture, losing her informal, if not slightly standoffish stance she had had upon addressing Lena alone.

“You work here, then?” Lena asked.

Alex rolled her eyes as she threw a large swath of fabric over her shoulder and stepped away from the rack, a basket of sewing supplies in her free hand.

“Just because I am not the most feminine creature does not mean I do not know my way around a needle and thread. And…the pay is not terrible. Now,” she turned to address Sam and the mothers, giving Lena a visible cold shoulder. “How can I help you ladies today?”

“Actually,” Rhea said, seemingly bothered to be speaking to anyone other than the store owner. “We have an appointment to fit this young lady for a wedding dress. Surely you are aware that this is the Mayor’s future daughter-in-law.”

Alex cleared her throat, the vein in her neck becoming visible for a moment as she tried to contain her irritation with Rhea and her rudeness towards her.

“Of course, ma’am. Just one moment while I find someone more suited to assist you,” Alex said with a very fake smile on her face, brushing past Lena and muttering _“Your highness_ ,” to her as she disappeared to the back room of the shop.

Apparently today was going to be a “small world” kind of a day, as an even more shockingly similar face came out shortly to relieve Alex.

“Mr. Schott!” Rhea greeted warmly to Winn when he appeared in front of them.

“Rhea! My dear, how are you?” he said with a friendly hug.

The three other women in the room blinked dumfounded, each surprised likely for different reasons.

“This is the ‘best designer in the city’?” Lillian asked, not trying to hide her mistrust in the reputation of such a young looking man.

“Oh, I know that he is young, but trust me, when you see his work, you will not question his talent. Now, Winn, this is our bride, Miss…”

“Lena!” he said, pulling her into a hug. “So good to see you again! How have you been, dear?”

“I…ah, fine, Mr. Schott. Just fine. And you?” she then leaned to whisper in his ear. “A dress designer and a bartender for an alien bar?”

Winn shrugged, unphased by her question.

“Would you believe that I had my first encounter with an alien when I was patching up bullet holes in the uniform of a bullet proof union soldier? Found out I had two interests that day, Miss Luthor: fashion and extra-terrestrials.”

Lena’s nose scrunched in confusion.

“Oh, it’s a more scientific word I came up with to refer to…never mind. Anyway!” He stepped away from their private side conversation to speak more broadly and in ear shot of the group. “You need a wedding dress! And luckily for me, you are just…well, you are just the perfect model, my dear. So I have a few samples for you to try on so we can get a better idea of what you might like! So, if you and the rest of your entourage could follow me, we can…”

“Hold on!” a voice called from behind them. Lena turned, and felt her heartbeat speed up as Kara sauntered into the dress shop. “Okay, now the whole entourage is here.”

“Kara,” Lillian said though gritted teeth. “You made it. How nice.”

“Hmm,” Kara said, elbowing her way to stand between Lillian and Sam. “Indeed, it is. Especially since I never received an invitation of any kind. But not to worry, I _heard_ about it all the same,” she said with a wink to Lena. “Lead the way, Winn!”

*

In no time, Lena was trying to get past her embarrassment as she stood mostly naked and very cold as Sam tried to help her stuff herself into the first dress Winn had procured for her.

“Just dive into it, dear,” Winn called to her from the other side of the dressing room curtain as he made small talk with the mothers.

“How am I supposed to-”

“Try crouching a bit and then straightening up into it?” Sam suggested

“For the love of God,” Lena whined.

“Lena, language!”

“Ah, there we go!  Now grab on to something so I can lace you up.”

“Ow! Sam!”

“Oh, do not be so _dramatic_ , Lena.”

“I do not see you trying to fit into this…this _thing_.”

“That _thing_ is made with very expensive imported silk, dear, please be careful,” Winn said from the other side of the curtain.

“Ugh! Okay,” Lena exhaled dramatically. “I think we have got it sorted. Sam, what do you think?”

Sam, tactfully, chose not to respond, rolling her lips together so as to better help keep her unspoken comments contained within them. Lena could only guess what that meant. Hesitantly, Lena stepped out of the dressing room.

Winn tilted his head to the left with a furrow of his brow and a downward quirk of his lips. Rhea’s mouth opened wide as if preparing to sing her praises, only to snap shut abruptly. Lillian raised an expectantly condescending eyebrow. Kara let a burst of laughter erupt out of her before covering her mouth with her hand, looking to see if her outburst had been noticed.

It had.

Lena looked at herself in the body length mirror positioned to her left.

“Oh, absolutely _not_ ,” Lena said, outraged by the stark white, fluffy, over-bustled _nightmare_ Winn had the nerve to call a dress.

“Alright, it is a little too busy for your taste,” Winn admitted, trying to sound as upbeat as possible before he lost his client’s trust. “You would rather go with something simple that brings out your gorgeous features, am I right? I can do that! One moment!”

He jogged off towards the back, audibly hissing “ _Alex_ , a little help please?” before disappearing.

“Well, I certainly do like the size of the skirt,” Rhea commented.

“Yes, but do you think it would fit down the aisle of the church?” Lillian said pointedly, her comment earning a twitch in Rhea’s forced smile.

“Whatever, get this monstrosity off of me,” Lena said, retreating into the dressing room.

“Oh, dear, I forgot my handkerchief in the car,” Lena heard Lillian say from outside the dressing room. “And I told the driver to park up the road where I wanted to get tea after! Heavens…oh, Sam, could you grab it, please?”

“Mom, I need Sam to help me out of this dress more than you need your blessed handkerchief,” Lena said, barely able to breath under the weight of the thing.

“It will only be a minute, dear.”

“Mother!”

“Well I could always help you, couldn’t I?” Lillian suggested stubbornly.

“No, you really could not.”

“Fine, then, you impossible girl! Kara, could you be a dear and help Lena while Sam is away?”

The room was dead silent.

“Of…of course, Mrs. Luthor,” Kara finally said quietly.

The curtain rustled, and Kara slipped into the dressing room, her fingers tapping agitatedly against her sides.

“So, um, how do I get this behemoth off of you?” she said, voice timid, eyes darting around the confined space around them.

“Oh, ah, unlace it first.”

“Right. Right. Of course.”

Lena gripped onto the wall to her right for stability as Kara’s dexterous fingers made quick work of undoing the laces of the corset of the dress. Lena swallowed hard, utterly stifled by the weight of the dress and by the silence between them, even though just beyond them Lena could hear mild chatter from the mothers.

“Did you find out anything about that man in the alley?” Lena asked softly, unable to help herself.

Facing away from Kara, she was unable to gauge her reactions by looking at her facial expressions.

“No,” Kara replied coolly, “There was nothing. I suspect it was just some stray onlooker. Nothing to worry about.”

“Well you could have told me that earlier and saved me three days of worrying, Kara.”

“I told you I would handle it, did I not?” She exhaled heavily. “I needed some time away from you, anyhow.”

Lena bit the inside of her cheek.

“So then what are you doing here?” she whispered, not sure how much could be heard from outside the dressing room.

Lena felt suddenly able to breathe again, the dress now unlaced, and she moved to press the fabric against her chest before it fell to her waist, leaving her breasts exposed.

“Keeping you from getting talked into something as hideous as this,” Kara offered in response.

“Well, maybe if I got this one, Michael would run off before either of us could say ‘I Do’,” Lena chuckled, but it was not funny any longer the second after she said it.

A dress appeared, flung over the top of the rungs of the dressing room curtain.

“I think you might like this one a lot more, dear,” Winn said from the other side of the door.

Lena cleared her throat uncomfortably, fully aware of what had to happen next in order to get her out of the first dress and into the second one.

“So, I think we will have to pull this one up over my head, and then, um, yeah…” she struggled, throat dry.

Kara nodded, face expressionless, and without another word on the subject, took two handfuls of the fabric of the dress and pulled it up over Lena’s head, Lena only having to crouch slightly for Kara to be able to remove it completely.

Lena thought in that moment that this was more likely the most vivid nightmare she had ever had rather than reality. Because only in a nightmare of her own making could she be standing nearly naked in front of Kara Danvers with her mother and future mother-in-law separated from them only by a thin sheet of fabric.

Upon pulling the dress off of her, Kara’s eyes shot abruptly upwards towards the ceiling as Lena crossed her arms in front of her breasts, Kara trying her best to be respectful given the circumstances. Kara turned rapidly around, grabbing the dress Winn had delivered and pulling it down from where it had been laying just above them. When she turned around, she forgot to look straight up again, and looked Lena straight on for a moment before flushing a deep crimson and refocusing on the wedding dress in her hands.

“Well, this one does not look so bad. In fact it’s…”

“Is it in two pieces?” Lena asked inquisitively, forgetting the circumstances for a moment.

And, in fact, it was. All in all, it was the smallest dress Lena had ever seen, with much less skirt width than Lena had ever seen. It had some silk in it, but also had a layer of a more netted fabric over it, edged with chiffon ruffle trim at the bottom of the skirt and the mid length sleeves, as well as around the chest.

 While most dresses came in at least two parts, corset, skirt, and all that, this one connected the top to the skirt through a handful of buttons that seemed like they would be visible even when on, hidden only by a gold sash that was to be tied around the middle.

“So, I guess you can, erm, step into the skirt first?” Kara asked tentatively, separating the skirt from the top and putting the top aside for a moment.

Lena nodded towards Kara’s suggestion, and then realized she had to choose whether she wanted to step into the skirt herself, leaving her breasts exposed long enough to do so, or whether she wanted to continue to cover them and allow Kara to help her into the skirt.

She chose the latter.

Kara held the skirt open on the floor as best she could, Lena stepping into it, and Kara then pulling it up and onto her hips. Lena tried her hardest to pretend she did not feel Kara’s hands brush against her legs once or twice as she did so.

The next problem was that the sample dress was slightly too large for Lena, so the skirt did not sit on her hips without being held there. Which meant that one of them was going to have to hold the skirt while the other put the top on. Looking at the top and how many buttons there were, specifically on the back, Lena did not think that she would be able to handle it on her own.

Kara seemed to have come to the same conclusion as she reached for the top. Swallowing away nerves and warm memories of intimate moments that never happened, Lena dropped her hands from her chest, one hand holding the skirt and the other maneuvering through the first sleeve. All the while, Kara’s eyes tried to focus on anything but Lena. Then, Lena switched which arm was holding the skirt so she could put the other sleeve on. Once both sleeves were on, the top only had to be buttoned to the skirt and then buttoned up the back.

That being said, Lena’s stomach and back were still fully exposed when Kara moved to assist her with the buttons. The first one she fastened was just below her navel, Kara’s fingers tickling Lena’s skin in a way Lena should not have enjoyed as much as she did. It did not help that Kara’s eyes were now locked on Lena’s as she fastened each of the buttons around her waist, hands planting themselves firmly against Lena’s skin as they did so.

“Kara,” Lena warned quietly, fighting away hazy memories of touches, warmth, tension building, wishing for release…

“Shh,” Kara replied, biting her lower lip as her hands moved to the small of Lena’s back and tracing up to her shoulders, pushing the fabric off of her shoulders. “Or they’ll hear you.”

“Kara,” Lena pleaded again, entirely unsure of if she was asking Kara to stop or not.

Kara considered Lena’s exposed neck and shoulders, like she was still deciding what to do about them. Her right hand flattened firmly against the small of Lena’s back, her left and moving to touch Lena’s braid, mouth sinking down like it was ready to devour her.

“Gayle asked me too…if I wanted to forget,” Kara whispered. “I said no. Never.”

The curtain rustled, and the two girls leapt apart from one another.

Sam stood in front of them now, the curtain closed behind her.

“Are you two trying to kill me?”

Kara cleared her throat, rushing out of the dressing room without a word to either of them.

“Button me up, would you, Sam?” Lena asked, trying not to collapse to the ground.

*

Once she emerged, there were audible gasps from the mothers, and from Winn as well. Kara stood silently, jaw slack, eyes like stone.

“My dear, it is beautiful!” Rhea exclaimed.

Lillian’s eyes were misty despite her silence.

“This dress has never had a more worthy model,” Winn said, hand on his heart.

Lena kept her eyes locked on Kara.

“Kara, what do you think?” Lena heard Rhea say.

“It…it…” Kara struggled, fists balled in her lap where she sat, pushing some unspoken feelings down. “She’s the most beautiful bride I have ever seen.” She finally said.

Lena sucked in a sharp inhale of breath. She looked at herself in the mirror, and knew Kara was being honest. She looked beautiful. She looked like a bride.

She looked back at Kara, who had seemed to fully retreat into herself. Once they locked eyes, she saw Kara mutter some reason to excuse herself and dashed across the shop, disappearing past the door of the back room where Alex now stood, looking at Lena with a gaze that shot daggers at her.

“I hate it,” Lena said, and retreated into the dressing room as fast as she could so that no one could see her break down into tears.

*

They did not buy a dress that day, though it seemed to have been decided at some point between Winn and the mothers that a dress of a custom design would be bought regardless. Regardless of what Lena had to say about, regardless of what she wanted.

Regardless of anything.

Lena was silent at dinner that night. It was Lionel’s last night at home before returning to D.C. Lillian seemed hell bent on getting Lena to engage with the family on something.

“So, Lena,” she asked, “have you thought any further on which of the houses we looked at you might be interested in?”

“I do not know, mother,” she said, “can’t I just go and live on the farm in Hannastown?”

Lionel laughed.

“The farm? But why?”

“Oh, I do not know. Because we already own it? Because I like it there?”

Lionel stuffed a forkful of potatoes into his mouth.

“Well, first of all,” he said through his food. “If anyone were to get the farm, it would be Lex. He is my first born, and my son. You know that, Lena.”

“And I do not want it,” Lex said flippantly.

“Exactly. Your brother prefers it here. Which is why I am selling the place.”

Lena’s fork clattered loudly only her plate.

“Why would you sell our home?”

Lionel shook his head, seemingly amused with his daughter as he wiped his mouth with his napkin.

“Because your wedding is becoming a costly affair, dear child. And because if Lex does not want it, I have no reason to keep it. I plan on dividing the money between you two to make sure you both get good homes here in the city. Come now, Lena, what would you possibly want with some run down old farm when you could be here with your family? Where your future husband could advance his career?”

“Lena, remember, that…” Lillian began, but Lena had had enough.

“Oh would you just _stop_?” she screeched, far louder than she would typically allow herself to speak. “Stop! Stop talking _at_ me like you are all so used to doing! Stop brushing off every single thing I say as if it were silly or useless! That place was _my_ home! This wedding is _my_ wedding! This is _my_ life you are absolutely… _fucking_ with!”

With that, she got up and stormed up the stairs, keeping the sobs racking her chest back long enough to shut herself into her room.

*

No one bothered Lena for some time. She had been lying in her bed, too tired to cry yet too distraught to fall asleep, for what had seemed like a small eternity before there was a soft rap at her door. She gave no permission, but her father entered her room nonetheless, walking softly across the floor to her bed where Lena lay.

“You are upset,” he stated as he sat down at the edge of her bed, as if her upset was not the most obvious fucking thing in the world.

“Am I?” Lena asked bitterly.

Lionel sighed.

“Now just, hold on, and hear me out before you shut me out, alright?” Lionel placed his palms firmly on his knees before he continued. “Now, I have taken some time to think about the whole thing. And I have been thinking back on everything that has happened since we came here. And I think I know what has been bothering you.”

Lena swallowed.

“You do?” she asked, fearful.

“Yes. There is something that you feel but you think that you cannot express without persecution, is that not right?”

Lena felt her chest surge. Could it really be that he knew?

“Yes, father, you are right. I…”

“So, then,” he interrupted. “Charity work, it is, then!”

Lena blinked, head jerking back slightly.

“Excuse me?” she asked.

“You want to feel important, valid, listened to, am I correct? But you are bound by your sex to not be taken seriously. And, honey, I hear you. I know many women who face this same issue. And do you know what they do? Charity work!” Lionel took Lena’s hands in his own, willing her to look him in the eye. “Darling Lena, you do not need to be a powerful politician like myself, or hopefully Michael, one day, just to make a difference in this world. In fact, there is currently a need in the south to build up schools for the freed slaves so that they can become as educated as you or I, can you believe that? So, I am going to help you host a charity ball to raise money to help build one such school in Kentucky! Is that not worthy of you and your driven mind? What do you say?”

Lena exhaled slowly, feeling any fleeting feeling of connection and understanding with her father that she thought she had escaping along with it.

“That is a great idea, father,” she said, her heart as numb as the tone of her voice. “I would love to host a charity ball for such a worthy cause.”

“Well good!” he said, squeezing her knee reassuringly. “I am so glad. Good talk, my dear. Now, you behave yourself while I am gone, and I will arrange all the details for this ball with Sam and your mother.”

Lena only nodded in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH in case you missed the memo i added some content to chap 13 (not much. basically just establishing that cat and kara fucked. bc obviously)  
> Anyway love yinz byeeeeee


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE KARA POV

Chapter 15

 

In the dim light of a street corner outside the lavish home of a former plantation owner by the name of Dawson, who fled north and changed his name to Clark to avoid the fallout of the demise of the south, Kara hid a yawn behind the sleeve of her form fitting black jacket. Inside the home, Dawson and his wife slept soundly, aided by a mild dose of venom by a Llaran who adopted the human name “Elizabeth”. 

Still, despite the fact that next to nothing could wake the Dawson’s on their current state, Kara’s cohorts inside the home, of which there were three in total, took extra care to be as quick and quiet as possible as they searched room to room to find what they had been tasked by Astra to retrieve. 

Despite everything that had happened between Kara and Astra in the recent months, it felt good to be working again. It felt good to have something clear to focus on again. The Dawsons had been slave owners. The Dawsons were bad people who deserved none of what they had, and so it was being taken away from them. It had been so long since things had felt so simple and clear. Kara had missed this. She had missed the feeling of being in control of right and wrong. 

Nothing else in Kara’s life currently was under her control. Not by a long shot. How had she become so undone? One moment she had this city in the palm of her hand, she took what she wanted when she wanted it. And then she had to go and want something she could not have. The most beautiful woman she had ever met had to go and walk into her life, taking every ounce of her control, and sanity, along with her.

There was a light rap at the window next to the side door, and Kara spun around, startled.

“You know,” Barry whispered after opening the window wide enough to have a word with Kara, “this would go a lot faster if you could just use those special eyes of yours to find the safe for us.” 

“It would also go faster if you actually did what you are supposed to do and be  _ fast _ ,” Kara retorted, eyes slowly scanning up and down the street, making sure that no one was around, though it was more than unlikely in the dead of night.

“I cannot just go zipping around if it is too dark to see where I am going, or I will crash into something. This is the first job Astra has let me go on since that slip up at the Governor’s Ball, Kara, I need this to go well. Please?”

“I told you, I am not here to assist. I am here only to make sure you all remain safe. This is not my life anymore. I made a promise to myself and to…” she let her words trail off without finishing the thought. 

Barry groaned. 

“Fine,” he said, “be dramatic and broody out here alone then. You look like a gargoyle, by the way.”

Kara stuck her tongue out at Barry as he pulled the window shut and continued his search. Though his comment did suddenly make her self conscious about the fact that she was in fact, perched atop a large marble post, crouching, her hands clasped in front of her, bouncing on her heels slightly to keep her legs from falling asleep. She grabbed the sides of the post and swung her legs out so she sat atop it, letting her legs kick idly against it as she watched and listened for any passersby. 

She was not going to help them rob the Dawsons. She was not. What good would it do anyhow? It would just put more money in Astra’s pocket at the expense of her loyal followers safety. 

Though it at least would keep her mind off of her memories. Keeping watch was just so  _ boring _ . Just sitting there in dead of night staring at an empty street gave her nothing better to think about than…

No.

Kara could just think of something else. Anything else. Anything to keep her from thinking of soft, pale skin, luscious red lips, fingers tracing over hip bones and downward…

“Damn it,” Kara muttered to herself, hopping off of the post and slipping into the house through the side door. 

She tiptoed through the house, casually observing the art on the walls and the antique vases and sculptures displayed in the main hall. 

“Oh, did you decide to be useful?” M’gann remarked as she rounded the corner to see who had entered the house, her pockets stuffed with jewelry and other small trinkets. 

“I decided to see what the hell is taking you all so long,” Kara retorted.

“What, are we keeping you from something else you have to do? Or should I say someone?” 

“Enough,” Kara spat. “Just find the safe and let’s get out of here, shall we?” 

“Done and done!” Barry said, suddenly next to Kara.

She jumped again.

“Gods, would you stop doing that?” she hissed at him.

“Sorry, anyway, M’gann, behind the family portrait in the study. Be a doll and open the door, could you please?”

“Sure, let me just rip the door of the safe off and make a mess that will surely not go unnoticed when the Dawsons come to. Too bad we do not have a Kryptonian to melt the lock or anything.”

“I told you that I do not do Astra’s dirty work anymore.”

“Then what exactly are you doing here, Kara?”

Kara chose not to reply. M’gann groaned frustratedly and headed in the direction of the study.

“Are you alright, Kara?” Barry asked softly. 

“Ask me that one more time and we will find out if you are fast enough to outrun a candlestick aimed at your head.”

There was a cracking sound from the study, and Barry took off to help M’Gann acquire the riches inside before he could find out if Kara was serious or not.    
Kara walked back to the window to continue her job as lookout. As she focused her senses out into the street, she picked up that something was not right. She could not see anyone on the street, but she could hear a new heartbeat in the distance, slowly coming closer. She slipped out the door and was able to see someone walk to the corner of the street and stop, like they were watching her. She had to make a move, and fast. She was still frustrated with herself for letting the mystery man who had spotted her with Lena outside the Cat Club the previous night get away. What was the point of these powers if she would just freeze up whenever she really needed to use them? 

The person watching at the end of the street bolted suddenly away in the opposite direction. Kara’s first instinct was to tell her to go after them, but she stopped, sensing somehow that this might be bait, a way to lure her away from the house and leaving her friends vulnerable. She stepped back into the house, rushing to the study.

“We need to go. Now,” Kara said.

*

The team unloaded their haul atop a large round table in Astra’s private quarters above the tavern. Sitting in a plush lounge chair across the room, Astra surveyed their spoils with a slight scowl. 

“Where’s the rest of it?” she said calmly, fingers thrumming against the arms of the chair with tangible agitation. 

“We had to take off before we could completely empty the safe. Kara thought we had been discovered.”

Astra’s right eyebrow quirked upwards, her gaze moving slowly to her niece. 

“Is that what you thought, Kara, or is this what you knew?”

“Someone was watching the house, and they ran off when I saw them. I did not want to risk getting caught for the sake of a couple of extra gold bars.” 

Astra’s lips twitched for a second before settling on a small smile. 

“Well then, I trust your judgement. It is just good to have you back on board with us again, dear. We have missed you. I have missed you.”

Kara only managed to nod, trying to hide the profound hatred she felt for her aunt that seemed to course through her like fire in her veins. 

“You may go now,” Astra said to the collective of thieves. “Thank you for your work.”

The group turned to leave.

“Kara?” she asked before she could join her companions. “Could I speak to you for a moment?”

Kara’s found that her hands had balled into fists, and she stretched out her fingers to relax them, standing still as Barry and the rest of them exited Astra’s quarters. 

“The job is not complete, Kara,” Astra said quietly. “You and I both know that.”

“I know that. But I also know that there is too much risk in trying to return to the same mark twice. And so do you.”

Astra’s smile broadened. 

“You are right. But I was counting on you to complete the job. There will now be a deficit in my accounts without it. What do you suppose we are to do to make this right?”

Kara shrugged, eyes locked on a stain on the wall just beyond Astra’s head. If she were to look her aunt square in the eye, she is not sure if she would be able to contain herself.

“I do not know, dear Aunt. Perhaps you should just toss me in with that White Martian again until your precious deficit is cleared.”

Astra sighed, standing and walking to stand in front of Kara. Kara looked at the floor.

“I had hoped you would have gotten over that by now. You know how I hate to see you upset.” 

She placed a consoling hand on Kara’s cheek. Kara barely managed to fight the urge to slap it away.

“I just wish you could understand that everything I do, I do for us. To protect us, Kara. All of us. Do not let some...infatuation...make you forget that this world is cruel, and that all of this is necessary for our survival. No one can take better care of you than I have, that silly young girl included. Do you understand what I am saying?”

Kara nodded silently, keeping her hateful remarks locked behind her teeth. 

“I love you, Kara. More than anything in this world.”

“May I be excused?” Kara replied.

Astra’s hand dropped from Kara’s face. 

“Of course.” 

Kara was so eager to leave the tavern and catch her breath that she almost did not hear Winn calling for her as she rushed past the bar. 

“Kara, hey Kara!” he hollered, finally getting her attention.

“What?” she snapped, turning on her heel to glare at him.

“Whoa, easy! I was just going to ask if I was going to see you at the shop tomorrow.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean?”

“You know, Lena’s appointment. Rhea wants me to design Lena’s wedding dress!” 

Kara blinked, stunned. 

“Did you...oh, you did not know, did you. Gosh, Kara, I am so sorry, I did not…”

She waved her hands dismissively. 

“It is alright, Winn. What, um, what time is the appointment?”

*

Kara should not have ever gone to that appointment. She knew that the second she walked in the door. What good did she think could possibly come of it? Why did Kara seem so keen on continuing to torture herself like this? Did she really believe that everything she was doing was to genuinely be there as a friend for Lena? Do friends take friends to burlesque clubs in order to get them to have their first orgasm? Do friends  _ literally _ lend a helping hand in giving their friends their first orgasm? And do friends, upon being asked to help try on wedding dresses, lose themselves in feeling of their friends skin beneath their fingertips? Do they nearly fall apart wondering why they have such damn bad luck that they do not get to be the one the wedding dress is for?

“What the hell is wrong with me?” Kara groaned to Alex in the back of Winn’s dress shop, collapsing onto a pile of scrap fabric, hiding the shame on her face.

“Just...so many things,” Alex said, and then ducked to avoid a wad of linen Kara chucked in her direction.

“I am suffering, here, Alex! I just had to watch the girl I am  _ embarrassingly _ smitten with try on dresses to wear to her wedding with that...that...parasite.”

“Smitten, huh? Is that how you would describe how you feel about Lena?”

Kara lifted her head enough to see Alex leaning against her sewing table, arms crossed in front of her. 

“How would you describe it, then?”

Alex shrugged.

“You are in love with her, obviously.” 

“Oh, sure!” Kara burst, sitting straight up. “Why not just say I am in love with her then? That makes it so much  _ better _ !” 

“Well pretending that you are not is of no help either.” 

“And how do you suggest I fix this then?” 

“First, you need to stop going out of your way to torture yourself just because you think you deserve it.” 

“I do not do that!”

“Oh, really? Okay. So then you did not try and enlist for the North under a fake identity in order to protect Dad? And when you were found out, did you not blame yourself for his eventual death? And did you not  _ then _ pledge servitude to Astra because you felt like you deserved to be put through hell in order to make things easier on Mom and I? And now are you not intentionally putting yourself between a rock and a hard place by loving Lena and letting Astra decide both of your fates, thereby denying yourself any happiness, because at the end of the day you feel guilty for surviving the death of your family and your planet?”

Kara blinked.

“You know you can be really cruel when you want to be,” Kara said, wiping the wetness from her eyes onto her sleeve.

Alex sighed, moving to sit next to her on the pile of fabric. 

“It hurts me to even have to say any of these things, Kara. But for as long as I have been your sister you have possessed more power than I could have ever imagined possible. And yet you behave as if you are powerless to control your own fate. You do not owe Eliza or I anything. You do not owe Astra anything. But you owe yourself a whole hell of a lot, starting off with just an ounce of happiness.” 

“So then what do you suggest I do, Alex?”

“Whatever you have to do.”

Kara bit her lower lip, thinking. 

“Oh,” Alex added, “And just so we are clear, fooling around with Cat Grant does not count as making yourself happy.”

Kara scoffed.

“You would not be saying that if you were to experience her for yourself.”

“Oh, gross, Kara! You are not seriously suggesting I mess around with someone my little sister has already had her fun with. Besides, I am not...well, you know....”

“I would not be so sure about that,” Kara replied, thinking back on how uncomfortable Alex had always acted around her previous male suitors. 

Alex tossed a roll of thread at her sister’s head in response, then laid against the pile of fabric next to Kara.

“You taking care of yourself?” Alex asked.

Kara nodded silently. 

“Still doing that witches bidding?”

Kara shrugged. 

“Is she still paying your bills?”

“Yes.”

“Then apparently yes.”

“Kara,” Alex sighed disapprovingly. 

“I am not having this argument with you again, Alex. If I am not there to protect my friends then bad things happens to them. Just the other night…” Kara stopped herself, remembering how upset it made Alex to hear about her work. “She just. She sees them as expendable. And I care about them too much to let her treat them that way.”

Alex pondered Kara’s words for a moment. 

“Well I cannot say that I approve. Especially since I literally just lectured you about not owing anyone anything, but at least now you are in it for the right reasons. At least now you are starting to feel like the Kara I used to know.”

“She never went anywhere,” Kara said with a small smile.

Just then, Winn burst agitatedly into the back room.

“Are all elite weddings this dramatic?” he asked with an exhausted huff.

*

As fate would have it, Kara did not learn of Lena’s charity ball from Lena herself. Kara was playing a game of cards with three of the local judges at their usual table in Astra’s tavern, and they were so happy to be actually winning for once that they were all quite chatty. The senior of the three gentleman asked the player to his right:

“Well, then, is your wife dragging you along to the charity ball this weekend?”

“How’s that?”

“Oh, you know, Lionel’s daughter, that little brunette number, seems to be trying to push her way into her place in society by emptying out all our pockets to fund some pet project to educate some freed slaves in Kentucky.”

“What, she had not set herself up enough by coercing a proposal from the Mayor’s son?”

“You would think. But I get the feeling this has little to do with the girl at all.”

“What, then? Lionel’s idea to help grease the wheels of his career, then?”

“You did not hear that from me,” the first man said with a chuckle.

“Well,” the second man said, “I am sure the wife mentioned it somewhere in between her prattling about whatever new quarrel with the neighbors she has invented this month.”

The third judge chuckled quietly at the conversation, flipping his cards over to reveal a full house. The first judge tossed his losing cards towards Kara with a dissatisfied click of his tongue.

Kara said nothing, keeping her face as neutral as possible.

“I just feel sorry for the girl,” the second judge said. “She probably believes that the money will actually go to a good cause. But you know how these things go. The majority of the money will end up in the pockets of all those plantation owners bemoaning their fiscal losses.” 

The other two judges hummed in agreement, not caring at all if the young blonde in their company heard the truth.

Kara did not have to see Astra to know that she was somewhere nearby, listening in, already planning on how she would find a way to take the cut she felt that she deserved out of whatever funds were to be accrued for Lena’s fundraiser ball. And though Kara had been avoiding both Astra and Lena as of late, taking time for herself to try and decipher what it was she really needed to make herself happy, as Alex had suggested, she knew that she would now have to intervene. If she knew Lena at all, she knew that the judges were likely right, and this whole event was likely Lionel’s idea in the first place. Lena was being told what to do, yet again. And yet again her aunt was looking to cash in on Lena’s lack of agency. Someone needed to be there to make sure that Lena’s needs were met.

And that was the only reason Kara was going. Not because she missed Lena so badly that it hurt. Not because she had dreamed of Lena every night since their evening at the Cat Club. 

She had to respect Lena’s wishes. She had to treat her as just a friend. Even if she had so far failed at doing so. Every single time. 

This time would be different. 

It  _ would _ .

*

Kara shifted uncomfortably in her dress. She knew she looked good in it but  _ damn _ if she did not  _ hate _ corsets. It took all of Kara’s willpower not to readjust her breasts in the middle of the crowded ballroom of the social hall uptown. 

Had it been necessary for her to borrow a dress from Winn’s shop to wear to Lena’s charity ball? Not really. Did she even like wearing dresses? Not in the slightest. Had it crossed her mind that Lena might think she looked good it it? Because she, how did she put it, could ‘picture her performing heroics in that color’?

It may have crossed Kara’s mind once or twice. At least enough to make sure that it was a dark blue, the color Lena had once said she liked to see Kara in.

But that had nothing to do with anything, of course.

Kara was fidgeting in the corner of the room near the bar, wondering just what she was supposed to do at one of these things. Seeing as she was here as a friend and not here on assignment from Astra, she had nothing interesting to focus on. Were all balls this boring and she had just never noticed before now? 

Kara drained the contents of her wine glass. Human alcohol was such a waste of time. 

The murmuring throughout the room quieted suddenly, followed by a half hearted round of applause as Governor Luthor and his family entered the room through the wide double doors. Lionel stood in the center of the family, adjusting the lapels of his coat with smooth confidence. Lillian stood to his right, Alexander to his left, and Lena, bafflingly, considering that this was supposed to be her event, stood behind the lot of them, her hand placed hesitantly on her fiance’s arm. Lena’s eyes scanned the room passively before they happened upon Kara and stayed there. Kara gasped, not sure she would ever be able to keep from losing her breath whenever Lena stared at her. Lena’s red lips quirked downward into the most subtle frown, her eyes moving to glance over at her fiance, who wore a smile sculpted to nearly mimic the that of the rest of the family. 

Nearly.

The sight of it, the knowledge of the unspoken misery Lena carried with her, all but made Kara ill. She could not explain the deep empathetic connection she had to Lena. She had not been able to explain it since the moment that they met. What had made Kara so insistent on pulling Lena in, of all the marks she could have chosen, the first night that she wandered into Astra’s tavern? Why did she become so upset to learn that Barry had decided to swipe the rest of the cash on her person when she rushed to leave the tavern that fateful night? Why did Kara’s heart nearly leap out of her chest when she saw Lena again that disastrous night at the Governor’s ball? Why could she now, no matter how hard she tried, stay away from Lena? Why could she not just stop being in love with her?

Kara snatched a cheese biscuit from a passing waiter, always willing to distract herself with food. She scanned the room for any familiar faces, unsure of when and how Astra would choose to strike. She had dared not ask Astra about it at all, it would have only raised suspicions. She would simply have to keep a wary eye out, find out exactly how money was being collected from the patrons of the fundraiser and how it was being stored, and then improvise as best as she could. 

The Luthors made their way through the throng of guests, splitting up to cover more ground. Lillian took the right flank, Lex and Michael took the left, and Lionel right down the middle. 

And Lena? Well, where on earth did she go? 

Kara knew Astra was not so foolish as to make her move, whatever it may be, so early in the night, but Kara could not help but panic at the idea of losing sight of Lena for even a second. Maybe someday she would admit that it was because she had lost so many people in her life and had been ignoring taking time to grieve for them since she had crash landed on this planet.

But today was not that day. She had to focus on finding Lena. She had to focus on what she had come here to do. 

“I hope you are not here for the reason that I think you are here,” a gravelly voice belonging to a man who had found himself standing next to Kara said. 

Kara gave him a quick lookover out of the corner of her eye. He was a man in his early twenties, with gray eyes, skin that was pale except for tanned, hard working hands that were clasped in front of him. Still, she would recognize that voice anywhere.

“Whose skin is that?” she asked J’onn, who let his eyes flash in a transformative red for only a moment to silently confirm her suspicions. 

He looked down at his own form as if he had forgotten already. 

“An old friend from the war. Took a bullet for me, the kind fool. It is easier, at events like this, to wear the form of someone that makes all these white faces more...comfortable.” 

Kara scoffed. 

“Humans,” she commented agitatedly. 

“You did not answer my question,” J’onn persisted calmly. 

“Are you trying to ask me if I am here to steal anything? No. Not tonight.”

J’onn considered her answer as he procured a glass of wine.

“And why is that? Because you are done with that line of work, or because you do not want to hurt the host?”

“Yet again, J’onn, I would like to remind you that I have never once asked for your help or advice, though you seem to give it regardless of what I say.” 

“Yes. I know. That is I do for those I care about.”

Kara sighed, feeling guilty for being so short with one of her oldest Earth friends.

“I am sorry. I am just tense. There is a lot of bad things going on behind the scenes tonight.” 

“I know. Why do you think I am here?” J’onn replied.

Kara turned to face her friend in his face that was foreign to her. 

“What do you know?” she asked.

“That this charity is a sham orchestrated by the Governor’s men, and the money raised is headed nowhere charitable.”

“What is your plan?” Kara asked with a hint of intrigue. 

J’onn only winked in reply. 

“Well you are not the only one with plans for that money, I am afraid.” 

J’onn, still wearing his fallen friend’s face, raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

“Astra?”

“Who else?”

He sighed.

“That complicates things a bit. Still. You leave it to me for now. I will hail you if I am in need of assistance.”

Feeling more relieved already, Kara pulled her friend in for a tight hug.

“Thank you, J’onn,” she said into his ear.

He patted her back consolingly in reply. 

Just then, she heard a throat clear just beyond them. Kara stepped away from J’onn to see Lena standing just a few paces away from them, watching them closely with a look of mild shock. 

“Friend of yours?” Lena asked Kara, her tone restrained and careful. 

J’onn chuckled to himself.

“No need to be jealous, Ms. Luthor. I am just a friend. To the both of you.”

Confused, Lena turned her gaze to Kara, looking for an explanation as to who this man was to the two of them. But Kara could not make her mouth form an explanation, for she had been rendered temporarily mute by the sight of Lena. 

When the Luthors had walked into the ballroom, Kara had not been able to see Lena clearly from her place behind her family. Now she stood before her, and Kara felt like she could not breathe. Lena had her hair down in light waves that cascaded down the right side of her neck, her green eyes were lined with a subtle application of dark color on her eyelashes, lips painted blood red to match her sinfully low cut red dress that cinched tightly around the waist and rounded out again into a full skirt that accentuated her curves in a way that should have been outlawed.

And perhaps it was, seeing as everyone who saw her seemed to gawk and gossip amongst one another. Murmurs and looks seemed to spread out from Lena like she was the moon pulling the at the ocean’s tides. 

And Kara was just a speck of wandering dust in the universe that had been caught in her gravity. 

J’onn cleared his throat loudly, pulling Kara from her trance and giving her a look that indciated that he wished for her to explain the situation.

“Oh,” Kara started dreamily as she forced herself to gain some kind of composure, “Oh! Right! Lena, you know J’onn.” 

Lena’s nose crinkled like it did when she was confused. 

It was mesmerizing. 

J’onn, aware that more eyes were on Lena that he would have liked, extended his hand to her, which she took, baffled, and he pulled her in just enough to let his face change to that of the one she was familiar with for all of a second before resuming the cover of his previous disguise. Lena leapt away from him, breathing heavily.

“God!” she exclaimed, then covered her mouth in regret when she realized that her outburst caused a couple of disapproving looks. “Full of surprises, this one, no?” she said to Kara, looking at J’onn warily, though admittedly she seemed to relax a bit now that she knew who it was, and knew that it was not really some strapping young man who Kara had been embracing a moment ago.

Kara turned away to let her blush cool that came from knowing that J’onn had sensed that Lena had been jealous of him up until his reveal.

“What, ah, what brings you to Philadelphia?” she asked him, stepping closer to Kara whether she knew she was or not. 

“Your ball, of course,” J’onn said with a smile. 

“Oh,” she said with a self conscious chuckle. “It is nothing, really. But it is good to see you again, even if it is in such a surprising manner. Are all beings outside of this planet as talented as you and Kara seem to be?” 

Her eyes lingered on Kara shamelessly for a moment. Kara’s skin felt hot under her gaze, wishing she could drag her away from the crowded room just to show her how  _ talented _ she could be.

This was exactly why she had wanted some time away from Lena while she planned her next move. It was too  _ intoxicating _ to be near her. Kara could not  _ think _ around Lena. She could only react to Lena’s every breath, movement, and touch with actions driven purely by an overpowering lust within her she had yet to gain any control over. And if nothing else, that lack of control frightened her. She had spent so much time relearning her own body when she came to Earth, first out of necessity due to the host of unexpected and horrifying powers the yellow sun gave her, and then out of frustrated shame when she learned that her sexuality was deemed a sin by the people who inhabited this planet. Her whole motivation in life had become about maintaining control. Control over herself, over her own sense of morality, over the fate of the people she cared about. And when Lena walked into her life, she threatened to take all of that away with just the faintest smile on her lips. 

J’onn’s voice as he replied pulled Kara out of her thoughts and back into the real world.

“As far as raw power goes, I would bet on Kara outranking all of us any day.”

“Well what about Astra? Being her family, does she not possess similar powers?” Lena asked.

Kara faltered, remembering once again just why she had come here in the first place.

“Lena I need to talk to…”

Just then, a man’s voice boomed across the room, commanding the attention of the guests.

“Yes, hello! Thank you all for being here with us tonight!” Governor Luthor declared gleefully. “First of all, I would like to thank all of you who have so generously donated items to be auctioned at tonight’s charity ball organized by my selfless daughter Lena. Lena? Wave hello, dear. Atta girl.”

Lena seemed to try very hard not to scowl as she made a half hearted wave to the crowd. Lillian, like a puff of smoke, had appeared near her, ushering her to step closer to the stage where her father stood. J’onn seemed to pick up on something that Kara did not, and he stepped away to investigate, leaving Kara standing alone once again.

“Yes, come on up here with me, darling! There you are!” Lionel cajoled cheerfully.

A regretfully familiar face made itself known, stepping next to Kara with a sly smugness.

“I am surprised you two have not snuck off yet to ravish one another yet,” Mon El, or Michael as he was called now, said into his whiskey glass, smiling arrogantly. 

“I am surprised you tore yourself away from your drinking and revelry long enough to attend your fiance’s ball.” 

He shrugged.

“There is an open bar and attractive women here all the same. I am sure I will survive.” 

“You are disgusting, you know that right?” 

“You did not think so when we first met.” 

Kara scoffed, furious with him for even bringing that one stupid night up.

“When we first met I was delirious from grief and still convinced that I could make myself attracted to men if I tried hard enough.” 

He leaned his head closer to her ear.

“Still counts,” he whispered, breath reeking of alcohol. It took every ounce of self control Kara had not to throw him across the room. “Now sit back and watch the show, love.”

Before she could ask what Mon El meant by that, the Governor’s voice echoed through the hall yet again.

“Now, I hope my soon-to-be son-in-law will not mind…”

There was a light chuckle that radiated through the crowd. 

“But,” Governor Luthor continued, “The point of this evening is to inspire all you good folks to look into your hearts, and into your wallets…” Another collective chuckle. “In order to help sponsor a good cause. And I cannot think of anything more inspiring than a beautiful young woman, am I right, gentleman?”

Kara could not help the disgusted look that spread on her face. Was the Governor making a suggestive joke...at the expense...of his daughter? What was the  _ matter _ with this planet?

“So, for our first item up to auction, I offer the first dance of the night with our beautiful host; my daughter, Lena Luthor, to the highest bidder. Shall we begin at twenty dollars?”

A stray hand at the front of the room went up. 

“Zaccariah, you sly flirt! Alright then, twenty to the cad in the outdated suit…” More energetic laughter came in response to the quip. “Anyone have twenty one? Twenty one?”

Mon El looked at the room absently. After a moment of no response from the crowd, he rolled his eyes, and put his hand up. 

“Ah, Michael! Protecting your claim on your future wife! How honorable sir! Haha,” Lionel said theatrically. “Anyone care to outbid our lovestruck young hero?” 

Kara wished she had never come to this dreadful ball. So scripted, so fake, that it made her want to vomit. That was, until, the more chaotic part of her mind had an idea…

“Twenty five,” she heard herself call out before totally thinking out the idea.

Lionel blinked, surprise. Then his magnanimous smile was back again. 

“Kara, I knew my daughter chose her friends well. Very well, twenty five to the blonde bridesmaid in the back! Hahaha! Michael, plan to fight for your damsel in distress?”

“Your father’s money?” Kara whispered to Mon El.

“Of course,” he whispered back, then announced to the room. “Thirty! Anything for my blushing bride!”

“Ugh, stop the alliteration, it is nauseating,” Kara said to Mon El. “Thirty five!” she announced.

Lionel was only half as amused this time.

Mon el groaned. 

“Forty,” he said, less enthused than the first time. 

It made Kara even angrier. 

“Forty five,” she shot back.

Now Lionel’s face was awash with confusion, but he kept the smile on his face for the sake of the crowd. Lena, meanwhile, looked like she was not quite sure if she should be amused or horrified by the way this scene was playing out.

“Are you really going to out your girlfriend in front of the whole elite of Philadelphia?” Mon El whispered ruefully.

“Are you really going to cheap out on me after just a few bets?”

He sighed.

“Fifty!” he called to the room.

Kara smirked. 

“Seventy five,” Kara said with a calm smirk. 

The room went quiet. No one seemed to really understand the joke anymore. Lena’s eyes bored into Kara’s with utter bewilderment.i

“Fine, ruin your little charade, then,” Mon El said with whispered bitterness, and did not bid any further. 

“Well,” Lionel said with a forced laugh. “They say that nothing comes between a woman and her friends, then, hmm? The first dance goes to Miss Kara Danvers, bridesmaid and close friend to Miss Lena Luthor. How endearing! Now strike up the band, and let the fun begin!”

If Kara gave herself time to question what she had done, she would probably have backed off and exited the room with a lighthearted shrug of her shoulders. Instead, she rode the wave of self satisfaction that came from beating Mon El and strode up to the bottom of the side steps of the stage, holding her hand out for Lena to take as she tentatively descended them. Lena took Kara’s hand as she stepped onto the dance floor, her fingers shaking slightly, her palm warm to the touch. Lena kept her eyes on Kara, looking away from her only to look around the room, gauging the reaction of the crowd. 

Lillian appeared fast to Lena’s side, eyeing Kara maliciously. 

“While I do appreciate your charitable attitude, dear,  I cannot help but ask how someone of your standing expects to pay such a sum.”

Working for Astra may have been mostly Hell, but now and again it had its perks. Kara had happened to adorn a few pieces of the jewelry that she had acquired over the years of marks she had been assigned. It had been a charity ball after all, so she thought they might come in handy. She pulled off of her person two gold rings, and the sapphire earrings she had on, looking fondly down at the gold bracelet she would never part with as she did so. 

“That should more than cover it, Mrs. Luthor,” Kara replied smugly.

“What are you doing?” she hissed to Kara through a painted on smile as Kara led her to the middle of the dance floor. 

The musicians tuned their instruments. The conductor tapped his stand, urging them to still. The room went silent. Kara kept Lena’s left hand clasped within her right, and placed her left hand on Lena’s waist. The room looked on, already half bored with the eccentric behaviour of the two women. 

Kara looked Lena over, feeling drunk off of the sight of her, her eyes swelling with tears she did not know she had conjured. If only she could stop falling…

“Making sure that everyone here knows...no matter what happens...that I did everything I could to make you mine.”

The music began. Kara stepped off in time to the violins with her left foot. Left right left. Right left right. The two of them swirling around one another. Lena squeezed Kara’s hand tighter. 

“Have you been...alright?” Lena asked tentatively. 

Kara smiled, looking down at the floor as she continued to move about the floor. No matter how long Kara kept away, no matter how much she tried to lock Lena out, she still cared.

“Yes. Fine. Just...thinking.”

“About what?” Lena pressed.

Kara looked up again in curiosity, but on the way up her eyes got distracted yet again by Lena’s curves, her skin, the way her cleavage pressed suffocatingly against her dress. 

“New dress?” Kara asked playfully.

The rest of the attendees at the ball had joined in the dance, their movements around the pair of girls turning them into blurs, separate from their universe entirely. 

“I was about to ask you the same thing.” 

Kara laughed.

“Please. I look like a peasant compared to you.” 

“No. You look like a heroine. Just like I said.” 

Kara’s thumb and forefinger stroked the fabric of Lena’s dress from where her hand gripped Lena’s waist, considering her memories carefully. 

“And who could I ever possibly save?” she asked. 

Lena pulled at her dance partner, making them spin in the opposite direction that they had been moving in, and moving her free hand from Kara’s shoulder to the small of her back. 

“For one, you saved me from having to dance with Michael. He could not even lead me in to the front doors without stomping on my feet.”

Kara laughed. The blurs around them seemed to move faster, and yet the music seemed to slow in her ears. 

“I have missed you,” Lena breathed, stepping into Kara almost imperceptibly. 

Kara’s lungs felt like they might burst within her chest. She reminded herself of all of her lessons with Alex of how to hold on to things without breaking them as she gripped Lena while she led her around and around. Kara let her forehead dip forward, resting ever so slightly against Lena’s. If the world were to explode around her at that moment, she likely would not have even noticed.

The hand that had been holding Lena’s dropped down while still grasping on to her. Kara stepped away from Lena, turning, and the room was still a blur of faces Kara dare not make eye contact with as she pulled Lena through the throng of people and through a door on the side of the stage. She did not need to know what was on the other side of the door except to know that there was a wall to her right she could then press Lena against, her chest flushed almost as deep a shade as her gown. Kara tangled both her hands into Lena’s hair, having almost forgotten how soft it felt, pressing her forehead against Lena’s once again as she held her there, the two of them breathing heavily against one another. Kara kept her lips mere centimeters from Lena’s but did not close the distance, she simply breathed in the closeness she had been missing as if it were more necessary to her lungs than the oxygen around them. 

She could hear Lena’s hearbeat thrumming excitedly beneath her chest, begging for her to close the gap between them. She listened to it until it seemed to harmonize with the muted sounds of the orchestra in the other room, and Gods if she could only write a symphony worthy of that sound…

“Kara,” Lena whispered, all but paralyzed, waiting desperately for Kara to do  _ something _ .

Kara heard another heartbeat emerge at the end of the hallway. She had heard that rhythm before. Her head snapped away from Lena, looking down the hallway to see a man standing in the shadows, watching them. She leapt away from Lena, ready to take off towards the man and do whatever was necessary to punish him for ruining the only bliss she had felt since the last time she had touched Lena like this.

“No,” Lena said, grasping Kara’s forearm firmly. “Let me handle this.”

“Wait, what?” Kara asked, dumbfounded. “No. Lena. Listen. That man. I have seen him watching me before. On a job for Astra. I…”

“Kara, Kara, it is alright” Lena breathed, eyes adoring and calculating all at once. “Let me save you this time.”

Lena took off down the hall after the man before Kara could think to protest. And she stayed put, despite her best judgement, because she had to finally admit to her that she  _ loved _ Lena and she would follow her instruction to the end of everything if that’s what it came to. 

A minute passed and she did not return. Then two. Then three. Kara began to pace, wondering how long she should wait until she flew to Lena’s aid and beat the stranger senseless just because she could. But she stayed put still. For minute four. Minute five. All the way to minute twelve. And then quiet clacks of women’s shoes made their way around the corner towards the long hall, a familiar heartbeat came closer and closer, and Lena appeared, a grin on her face.

“What have you done?” Kara asked. 

Lena went from a brisk walk to a jog, closing the distance between them so fast that it made Kara dizzy. Without a hint of reservation, Lena leapt into Kara’s arms, kissing her so fiercely that Kara’s knees buckled and she collapsed into the wall behind her. Lena kissed her passionately, recklessly, lips moving in a quick succession: one, and then another, and another, until they both could barely breathe. Her hips rolled impulsively against Kara, the friction making Kara whimper into Lena’s mouth. This was unexpected, Lena having always been the reserved one of the two. Kara finally pulled away to take a breath, barely able to think. 

“What has happened? What are…” she tried to say.

“Do not ask me now. Just take me somewhere that no one will find us. And do not take me from that place until at least daybreak.”

Kara gulped, arousal pooling in her center. She nodded dumbly, and took Lena by the hand out the nearest side door exit of the social hall. Lena wrapped her hands around Kara’s neck with familiarity, mouth dipping to tease at Kara’s throat. Kara’s knees threatened to buckle again, but instead she scooped Lena up into her grip, and flew off into the night...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been so long...I am so sorry...  
> Ihaven't done dick for editing...so...  
> Love yinz...sorry farming keeps me so busy...NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE SMUT!!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starts of as recap of last chap in Lena's POV, so a reread of 15 would probly help if u need them sweet sweet details

Through her mirror, Lena could see Sam shaking her head slightly as she stood behind her, lacing up the dress she had commissioned from Winn’s shop. No one had seen it, not even her mother, despite her many protests. 

“You do not like it?” Lena asked Sam playfully. 

Sam let out a small but exasperated sigh. 

“I did not say that,” Sam replied.

“You did not have to.” 

“Well...do you not think that it is a touch...improper, Lena?” 

“And when was the last time I ever cared to be proper?” 

Sam tugged extra hard at a corset string in protest of Lena’s remark, Lena swaying backward for a moment as a result. 

“I would think that someone in your...situation would be trying their best to blend in a bit, Lena, that is all. But you’ll stick out like a scandalous little sore thumb in this, I think.” 

Lena shrugged, unbothered by Sam’s concerns as she looked idly down at the red fabric of her new dress. What did it matter what she wore, anyhow? Let the whole damn city stare at her. It made no difference. It was not as if she were even trying to impress anyone in particular. 

She had not even invited Kara. 

She thought it would be better that way. 

And she certainly did not hope to see Kara appear regardless, either.

Well, perhaps Lena did hope for just that. But she equally hoped that that would not be the case. Because seeing the pain on Kara’s face at the dress shop made Lena hope that she would never see Kara again. If she never saw her again, perhaps then Lena could not hurt her anymore. 

“Do you believe people will think that I am a bad person for wearing such a dress while being betrothed? Well then, let them think just as much. I would agree with them if they did.” 

Sam frowned, placing a placating hand on Lena’s shoulder. 

“I do not like to hear such things from you, Lena.”

“Why not? It’s the truth.” 

Before Sam could reply, there was a soft but insistent rap on the door, and Lillian let herself into Lena’s room.

“Goodness, child, what is taking so-” Lillian gasped. “What on Earth are you wearing?” she exclaimed, horrified.

The rueful excitement Lena got from making her mother miserable was enough to pull herself out of her slump for a moment. With as casual an air as she could muster, she sauntered past her mother to grab her hat and headed towards the door.

“If you ask me to change now, you will just make us late, mother. Now come along.”

After a moment of indignant sputtering, Lillian had not choice but to follow her daughter’s lead.

At the bottom of the steps, Michael leaned boredly against the railing of the steps, a half empty brandy in his hand. He only looked up to acknowledge the presence of his future bride when she cleared her throat at him. He looked her over for a moment, only mildly amused.

“Not that I do not appreciate your progressive taste in fashion, my dear, but I do believe that we are now clashing.”

Lena looked down at the hideously yellow neckerchief and necktie Michael had accessorized himself with.

“Hmm,” she mused passively, “What an unfortunate visual metaphor.” 

She could hear him sigh agitatedly as she headed towards the carriage unaccompanied. 

No one else bothered to comment further on her attire as the family headed in a cramped carriage towards the social hall the charity ball was being held at. Lex only casually inquired how much the commission for the dress had cost, likely to make sure that he was wearing the more expensive outfit. 

They arrived at the social hall. Lena was the last to exit the car. Michael nearly forgot to offer his arm for his betrothed to take. The rest of the family walked ahead of them, Sam close behind. Lionel’s head snapped upwards in pride the moment the doors were swung open. Lena painted on a smile, already having half forgotten why she was even here.

Light applause broke out as the family entered the hall. Lena let herself be guided through the room, mentally checked out of the whole thing, until her elbow bumped into a person to her left who was wearing an immaculately tailored suit and who’s long but cropped hair was slicked back elegantly. Their eyes met, and she was jolted by familiarity.

“Alex!” Lena said, still being slowly pulled through the room by her fiance. “What are you doing here?” 

Alex fell into step with her, though she did not seem happy about it.

“Making sure you two behave yourselves,” she murmured, not making direct eye contact with Lena for too long. Lena got the feeling that Alex did not like her, and Lena could not really blame her for that.

“What do you mean?” Lena asked, and then her eyes widened, realization dawning on her.

As nonchalantly as she could manage, Lena let her eyes scan the room, and after a couple of moments, she spotted her, standing alone at the bar across the ballroom, in a dazzling dark blue satin dress, staring right back at her. 

Lena gulped past the lump that instantly formed in her throat. All reason told her to stay put, to continue on as if she had not seen Kara, to continue to just live her life and let Kara get on with living hers without her. But when it came to Kara, none of Lena’s actions had ever been based on reason. 

She turned back to Alex, who was all but glaring at Lena.

“Alex, you have met my friend Sam, have you not?” Lena asked, turning to grasp Sam by the forearm and pull her forward so she was standing next to Lena. Alex turned to look at Sam, blinking repetitively before any recognition dawned on her.

“O-oh, why, yes, we have met. I apologize, Miss…”

“Arias,” Sam supplemented, smiling. 

“Right. Miss Arias. I did not recognize you dressed up like you are. That is a, ah,” she stammered, “a very lovely dress.” 

Lena had not really thought on it much, but now that Alex had pointed it out, Lena did have to admit that the forest green dress Sam was wearing was very flattering on her. 

“Oh, well thank you,” Sam said with a widening smile. “And if I may say so, if more women looked as good in suits as you do, we would all be wearing them.” 

Alex laughed louder than Lena expected her to, running a hand through her hair as she looked to the ground, the faintest blush on her cheeks. 

Lena took advantage of the moment to slip away from her chaperone and waded swiftly through the crowd, only one thing on her mind. 

When she emerged on the other side of the room, Kara was embracing a strapping looking young man with several union soldier medals adorning his suit. Despite her best judgement, she felt a pang of jealousy at the sight of it. 

In a moment, however, Lena realized with a shocking transformation of the young man’s face that it was, in fact, Kara’s friend J’onn, who could apparently change his shape. Lena was only happy that she managed to stifle a shriek from the shock of his little trick. 

After a moment catching up with J’onn, Lena could not help but be distracted, drawn back into staring at Kara, wanting to be able to say and to do so many things to her, but nonetheless only being able to stare at her like she was the most perfect thing in the world. Her golden hair cascaded down her shoulder in effortless curls, framing her face but still leading the eye down to the curvature of her bosom that was only barely hidden beneath a plunging neckline of the dress in the color that reminded her of the dress she wore to Lena’s betrothal. 

Lena was mildly afraid that staring at such a beautiful thing as Kara for too long might make her forget how to breathe. 

“Lena,” Kara said pointedly, pulling Lena out of her trance, “I need to talk to-”

She was interrupted. Lionel was up on stage, coercing his daughter to join him as if he were summoning a family pet. Stifling the urge to scream, she made herself smile, wave to the crowd, and follow his lead as he announced a rather grotesque proposal to sell her off for a dance. And she was so used to this whole charade, of being a puppet to the wishes of her family, that she even went along with it without even thinking much on it as the bidding started, until Kara’s voice cut through the crowd and betted against Michael’s half hearted and very staged attempt to win the sought after dance with Lena. 

Lena felt as if she had snapped awake from a dream. She stared at Kara as she and Michael betted against each other, Kara’s voice and physicality growing more fiery by the second. Had Lena really just let herself be used like this by her father as a publicity stunt? Had she not even  _ questioned _ it? Is this who she was without Kara? Someone so complicit and well trained that she did not even notice these things anymore?

She gave Kara a warning look, hoping it would get her to retreat from her attack on Lena’s family’s disgusting show, but inwardly, she felt a fire of her own starting. She wanted to be someone worth the way in which Kara fought for her. She did not want to hide from Kara or from her true self any longer. 

“Seventy five!” Kara called out rebelliously, eyes locked on Lena. 

The room went quiet. Michael conceded the competition. 

Lionel talked his way beautifully out of an otherwise scandalous turn of events. Kara walked up to the stage to claim her prize, barely concealing her pride. Lena took Kara’s hand, her body buzzing with excitement that threatened to snuff out her fear once and for all.

Lillian attempted to stop the scene they had created. Kara only removed her jewelry, tossing them unceremoniously at Lena’s mother as payment. Lena noticed the golden band she had given Kara still sitting snugly on her wrist. Her chest swelled with emotion. 

“What are you doing?” Lena asked Kara as she was led into their dance.

Kara’s eyes misted over. 

“Making sure that everyone here knows...no matter what happens...that I did everything I could to make you mine.”

In a moment, Kara’s hand was on Lena’s hip, guiding her around the dance floor. Lena thought of the time they had danced at the Governor’s ball, how Kara had seemed to Lena then as the farthest thing from a hero that she could possibly imagine. 

How wrong she had been about her. 

“You look like a true heroine. Just as I said,” she told Kara.

“And who could I possibly save?” Kara asked, breaking Lena’s heart. 

It was entirely too much for the two of them, and they both felt it. Without hesitation or reservation, Lena let herself be pulled away from the dance floor and through a side door. She let herself be pressed against the nearest wall outside the door. She let herself breathe Kara in, let Kara tangle her fingers into her hair, let her knees weaken as they pressed closer and closer into each other, the tension building deliciously between them as they restrained themselves just enough to keep their lips from touching. 

Kara pulled away suddenly. Lena felt cold without her touch. Kara was shaking, panic stricken as they replayed the scene from outside of the Cat Club once again: being spotted, wondering what to do next. It was like their lives were a single moment on repeat: bliss, fear, separation, repeat. Over and over again. Lena could see Kara racing to find a solution, she could see her fighting within herself to find a solution and to save Lena yet again. A sense of purpose washed over Lena. It emboldened her, made her feel like she could take on anything or anyone.

“Let me save you this time,” Lena whispered insistently to Kara, and took off after the man who had spotted them.

It was not so easy to run in this dress as she had thought it would have been, but by some miracle she managed to spot the man just as he was about to exit the building. 

“Stop!” she said with a determination in her voice that sounded foreign to her. 

He obliged for some unknown reason, stopping just before the side exit door and turning to face her. He was a tall, attractive man who looked at her with surprising familiarity and confidence. She recognized him, but from where? Finally, it dawned on her. 

“I know you,” she said, taking a tentative step towards him, afraid he might dart off if she let him. “You’re James Olsen.”

He blinked, giving her no reply. 

“James Olsen, the war hero,” she pressed. “Famous spy for the North. You intercepted countless plans and letters from Confederate Generals. You were a reporter for the Washington Tribune from behind enemy lines. Your work earned the highest praise within the journalism community. I read your articles, as well as the ones written about you. You aided hundreds of escaped slaves in their journey to the North. They used to call you The Guardian. I  _ know _ you.”

The man cleared his throat. 

“You are mistaken, ma’am. It is alright, I do not expect a high society woman like yourself to be able to tell one black man from another.”

“Oh, do not even try that line on me, Mister Olsen,” she said indignantly. “We have met before. They had a ceremony to award you for your efforts. My father was there. We shook  _ hands _ . We have met. I  _ know _ you to be James Olsen.” 

James sighed, and did not further try to deny Lena’s claim. 

“Yes, I remember. Your mother scolded you afterwards for not wearing a glove while shaking my hand...charming woman.”

“If it makes you feel any better, she’s not my real mother. I’m just a bastard child from an affair she had to take into her home so as to avoid a scandal.” 

James chuckled. 

“Now why have you been spying on my friend and I?” she asked, not letting herself forget why they were speaking. 

James raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

“Your  _ friend _ , huh?” he said smugly. 

“That is not what we are talking about. We are talking about  _ you _ . This is not the first time you have watched her or I in secret, is it? Several weeks ago, you were outside Cat’s club. You were watching her just recently, were you not? And now that I think of it, you were there that day at Astra’s Tavern some months ago. I did not know quite who you were then, but I knew I recognized you somehow. You have been watching us. Now tell me why.”

He scratched the back of his head, trying to maintain eye contact even though everything about his body language hinted towards feelings of guilt.

“It may not be as glamorous as war reporting, Miss Luthor, but I am still a reporter all the same. And I have been following your story for some time now. And quite the story it makes.” 

Lena may not have been the best poker player, but she tried her best regardless to keep her face neutral, crossing her arms in front of her. 

“And what would the headline to that story read, Mr. Olsen?” 

He tilted his head, slightly amused with her. 

“Oh, I suppose it would read something like ‘Governor’s Daughter Hides Behind Arranged Engagement to Conceal Affair With Female Lover’. Sound about right?” 

She fought past the panic rising in her throat. She wanted to be a hero for Kara. And that’s exactly what she would do. Deep within her, in a place she had forgotten, a fire was growing, and it was angry.

“You know,” she began slowly, voice confident, foreign to her ears, “for a war reporter, I cannot help but think that gossip columns are a bit beneath you, Mr. Olsen.”

His posture stiffened, revealing discomfort with her remark.

“So far beneath you,” she pressed, a plan formulating in her mind barely as fast as she could execute it, “that I cannot help but wonder if you are not a bit frustrated with yourself for even having to pretend that some silly story about a young woman’s love life is what you are really after.” 

A smile cracked past Mr. Olsen’s stony demeanor. He looked down at his shoes until it subsided.

“And what is it you think I am really after, then?” James asked.

That was all he needed to say to tell Lena that she could offer him something else to throw him off of this story. She stepped closer to him, circling him casually as she thought aloud. Doing so made her feel deliciously dramatic.

“Well, let’s see,” she began. “The first place I saw you was at Astra’s. You had no way of knowing I would be there, so clearly I was not the goal you were after. What was it then, Mr. Olsen? Hmm, well, we next saw you outside of Cat’s. Because I led you there? Not at all. I had never been to the place before that night. No, I think it was a mere coincidence that we ran into one another again. And after that? You were watching my friend,” Lena said. She was being careful not to say Kara’s name in the chance that James did not know her true identity. “I was not involved at all that time. Is it her you are after, then? Why? What does she have to offer you?”

James expression hardened again as Lena stopped her cyclical walk, facing him head on.

“Your friend is a thief and a criminal,” he replied. “But you already know this, don’t you, Miss Luthor?” 

“No, not what she has to  _ offer _ , that is not quite the right choice of words.” Lena said, acting as if she had not heard James accusation at all. “You are after what she represents, hmm? Or, more accurately,  _ who _ she represents. You see, I have read your work, and I therefore know that it is never one small thing you are after. It is the larger picture. You were never after one confederate general. You were after the whole damn South. And rightly so. And now, it is not one thief you are trying to capture, but the whole den of thieves. Am I on the right track?” Lena paused a moment, moving to stand in front of James again. “In short, Mr. Olsen, you want to know who my friend works for. You want  _ Astra _ .”

He flinched, recognizing the name. Lena smiled smugly. She knew she had him.

“I thought as much,” she said. “Hard to pin down, isn’t she? Have you even seen her face?” 

James swallowed, agitation appearing subtly on his face. 

“No,” he said.

“Hmm. I have,” she teased. Lena was dangling her knowledge in front of him, waiting for him to bite. “Several times in fact. None of those meetings were pleasant, I can assure you. You see, to know her is to be, in one way or another, caught in her very far reaching web. And I am not so fond of such an arrangement, if you understand my meaning.” 

She stood very close to James now, reading every twitch of his facial muscles carefully.

“I fear that you are about to make me understand,” he replied carefully. “What are you offering, Ms. Luthor?”

Lena knew that he had taken the bait. She backed off from him, resuming a more friendly, professional stance, and smiling warmly at him.

“A story far better than the one you have now. More than a story, in fact. I can give you the chance to catch the spider herself.” 

_ J’onn,  _ Lena reached out with her mind, more familiar with the task after her time with Psy. I _ f you can hear me, then look into my mind and see what I have planned. I would need your help to see it through. If you are willing to help me, and Kara, send me a sign.  _

“Alright, you have my attention,” James said, “What is your plan?”

At the far end of the hall, a woman who looked frighteningly similar to Astra walked out of the dance hall, turned directly to look at Lena, and winked, her face transforming to into J’onn’s for a moment, then the whole form turning into that of the face of the soldier he had assumed earlier. 

Lena smiled, emboldened by J’onn’s sign, and turned back to James. 

“I will tell you, under one condition.”

“And what is that?” James asked.

“Whatever story you run...my friend is not mentioned. Ever.” 

James sighed, weighing the options silently.

“She is not innocent in all of this.”

“No. But she has done only what she thought she must to survive. Surely this is not a foreign concept to you.”

James rubbed at a bit of stubble on his chin with his left hand, and then offered his right hand out for Lena to shake.

“Fine. Agreed.”

Lena breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well,” she began as she clutched his hand in her own...

*

Lena rushed back to where she had left Kara, the gleeful feeling of release pushing through her chest so strongly she thought she might burst. Come hell or high water, regardless of the outcome, Kara would be free. Lena would bet her life on that. Lena’s fate was not as securely sealed, but it did not matter just now. All Lena could think about was Kara, about how Lena could finally be the one to save her. She would have run to Kara in that moment, if she was not afraid that she would trip over her damned dress. As she walked quickly back down the hall to the side door and back to Kara, her eyes landed on two familiar figures as they talked rather intimately in a secluded corner by the coat room. Alex was saying something witty, and Sam was laughing loudly in response, her arm resting on Alex’s forearm. 

_ Well  _ that _ is interesting,  _ Lena thought. 

But she would think on that later. At the moment all her focus on was Kara pacing nervously at the end of the hallway, only to turn to look at Lena, her eyes equally panic stricken and hopeful. And despite every lesson she had learned about proper female behaviour over the years, Lena ran to Kara like her life depended on it, crashing into her. Lena kissed her like it was the last time she ever would, and the first. If Kara had been anyone else, the effort in which Lena crashed into Kara might have hurt her. But she was Kara. She was strong and impossible and  _ hers _ and nothing was ever going to try and change that again. Lena would make sure of it. 

“What has happened?” Kara asked her breathlessly. “Wh-”

Lena only cut her off with another searing kiss, feeling Kara buckle beneath her. She whispered into her ear, and in a moment, they were flying off into the night, everything and everyone back on the ground utterly forgotten. 

*

The flight felt entirely too long. Inside Lena’s chest was a mixture of fear from the flight, and impatient need for them to be closer again, and a growing anxiety within her wondering if she knew what to do once they were. 

Lena was about to become frustrated with Kara and her seeming need to fly Lena across the damn country, until she touched down softly, placing Lena gently on the ground next to her. In the dark, Lena blinked, initially unsure of her surroundings. To her left, as well as to her front and back, was acres of cold barren soil, unbroken, quietly awaiting the the next harvest season to give it life again. To her right, however, was a decently sized farm house, sitting barren, it’s lamps unlit despite the late hour. 

“Where…” Lena began to ask, but some deep instinct within told her that she knew this place.

She took a deep breath inward, and the air smelled familiar. It smelled like home. 

“Kara, are we-” Lena began to ask. Kara stood timidly next to her, quietly drinking in her surroundings with wide, curious eyes, hands clasped behind her back. 

“You saw a part of my home. I wanted to see yours.” Kara shrugged shyly. “It took me awhile to find it. All I had to go on was a memory of your bedroom and the name of the town. But...here we are.”

If Lena had been alone she might have hugged the cold, thawing dirt beneath her. But she didn’t. She simply let her chest swell, realizing just how much she had missed home.

“Oh, this makes me realize just how much I hate Philadelphia,” Lena said softly, fighting back a swell of emotion that rested uncomfortably in a lump in her throat.

Kara laughed, loudly. Lena watched her, wondering if she had ever seen her laugh so. She realized that in the entire time they had known each other, they had never just been able to be themselves. Lena intended to change that. Approaching her slowly, Lena wrapped her arms around Kara’s waist, her hands meeting at the small of Kara’s back, sinking into a simple, aching embrace, Kara’s radiating warmth sinking into Lena’s skin through their touch. Kara unclasped her hands from behind her back, returning Lena’s embrace. 

“Thank you for bringing me here,” Lena whispered into Kara’s neck. 

She only felt Kara nod in reply. 

Lena suddenly felt unbearably shy. Which was absolutely foolish of her, because just a moment ago she was forming elaborate schemes with a war hero and basically asking for her virtue to be shattered apart to Kara’s will. But now she felt afraid to pull away from the space she had made for herself against Kara’s frame, afraid to pull away far enough to even look her in the eye. Lena was so used to a denying herself the luxury of Kara’s affection, that now that she had decided to give in, she had no idea what to do with herself.

“You are shaking,” Kara said softly. 

“I am just cold.”

“Well come along inside then, silly,” Kara said, beginning to pull away so that they could head inside. 

But Lena hesitated. Kara tilted her head, considering Lena. 

“Is there something else causing that tremble?” she asked. 

Lena made a half hearted attempt to shake her head at Kara’s question, forcing herself to push past Kara and walk quickly into the house. Of course, she never considered that the door might be locked until she unceremoniously crashed into with when she had expected to simply open for her when she turned the door handle. 

“You, ah, need a hand?” Kara asked, trying to stifle a giggle. 

“It was never locked when we lived here, for goodness sake,” Lena muttered agitatedly. 

With a quick show of strength on Kara’s end, the door popped open, the door frame a bit worse for wear from the effort. It was no warmer in the house than it had been outside, and without Kara’s warmth Lena truly was shaking from the cold.

Seeming to read Lena’s mind, Kara made her way through the dark entryway and into the living room, where a stack of wood was heaped up next to a large fireplace on the far wall. Kara tossed in a few logs of wood, and after a quick shot of heat from her eyes, there was a roaring fire flooding the main level of the house with light and warmth. Lena moved towards it instinctively like a moth to a flame, feeling a calming relief in the way the heat from the fire slowly thawed her fingertips and toes and worked its way deeper into her body.

Warming themselves in front of the fire a moment, the two girls fell into a slightly uncomfortable silence, standing a couple paces away from one another. 

“Would it break this tension at all if you told me just exactly what happened with you and that man back at the social hall?” Kara asked light heartedly. 

Lena smiled, shifting slightly closer to Kara. 

“That is confidential. All I can tell you for now is that I have the situation handled. I think.”

Kara let out a dissatisfied “hrmph”, sitting down on the floor with an unceremonious flutter of her dress. 

“Now I see why I have agitated you so with all of my secrets,” Kara replied. 

Lena chucked, sitting down next to Kara and resting her head against Kara’s shoulder.

“Oh,” Lena said, for some reason desperate to find something,  _ anything _ to talk about. “I did not get the chance to ask earlier, but is your sister, well you know, fond of women?”

Lena felt Kara shrug.

“I think she is but just does not realize it yet.”

“Hmm. Well she may have realized it with my housemaid this evening.” 

“Ugh, finally,” Kara groaned amusedly. “I am only sorry to have missed it.” 

The silence fell over them yet again. Lena felt a growing anxiety within her, like she had to say something, do something, to try to make good on the promise she had eluded to that landed them here in the first place. But with each moment that passed that she continued to hesitate to bring herself any closer to Kara, the anxiety increased tenfold. Why was this so difficult for her?

“Did you know,” Kara said, interrupting the mind numbing silence between them, “That the first time I went to The Cat Club, that Cat tried to arrange for me to have a private session with a dancer, and I became so panicked upon being alone with the girl that I fled the room and locked myself in the bathroom?”

Lena swallowed, feeling partly relieved and partly ashamed, turning to sit facing Kara more directly.

“You did not,” she replied.

“I did,” Kara said with a soft chuckle. “And that was with a girl I didn’t even have any real connection to.”

Lena sighed. 

“Am I that transparent?”

Kara smiled. 

“Only because I understand what you are feeling.” 

“Kara, I want to...I want to be as confident as you are. I wanted to make this big dramatic gesture, I wanted everything to be perfect. And it is! But I just…” 

Kara put a consoling hand on Lena’s cheek. Lena leaned into it desperately. 

“Is there any reason that you need to be home some time soon?”

“Oh, no. Actually, the plan works out better if I am actually missing for at least a night.”

“The plan I am not allowed to know about?”

“PRecisely.”

“Well, then, in that case,” Kara began, and got up, finding her way through the house and up the stairs, disappearing on the second floor for a few moments. 

Confused, Lena only sat in place until Kara came back, carrying Lena’s entire bed over her head like it was nothing. Lena leapt out of the way as Kara placed in on the floor in front of the fireplace, smirking in response to Lena’s bewildered stare. 

“What, it’s cold and your room does not have a suitable fireplace. Now, unlace me will you?” Kara asked, turning so her back was facing Lena. 

Gulping, Lena did as she was told, slowly unraveling the grip the dress had on Kara’s chest, wondering for at least the second time that evening if Kara had worn it just for Lena to appreciate. Finally, the dress fell away, leaving only the thin white shift Kara had on underneath. Kara then turned to Lena, moving her index finger in a circular motion that beckoned for Lena to turn around and allow Kara to return the favor. Lena held her breath as Kara slowly pulled apart the corset of her dress, each brush of her fingers against Lena’s back making her ache. With a final tug, the dress came undone, cascading to the floor. She heard Kara sigh quietly, and then suddenly Kara’s warmth faded from behind her. 

Lena turned, and saw Kara settling in beneath the covers of Lena’s newly placed bed. 

“What are…” Lena began. 

“Look, we do not have to leave anytime soon, like you said. We can stay here as long as you like, and we can do whatever you feel only completely comfortable doing. In the meantime, it is late, and I am surprisingly tired from the fly here. So…” Kara laid her head against the pillow, untucking a corner of the blanket to give Lena a silent invitation to join her if she wished. 

Feeling a chill in only her undergarment, she crawled into the bed next to Kara, feeling a bit of her nerves exit her body with the long exhale she made as Lena settled in next to her. Kara had given her the space on the bed closer to the fireplace, and Lena faced it now, the low glow and the crackling of the wood lulling her into a more relaxed state. She felt Kara’s arm snake around her waist, reminding her of the other times that they had found themselves in a similar position back in Lena’s room in Philadelphia, and the familiarity of the touch caused Lena to melt into it, allowing Kara to pull Lena as close to her as she wished. 

It made Lena feel instantly at ease, knowing that there was no longer any kind of expectation on her. Combined with the fact that she felt so at ease in Kara’s arms, and she felt her soul become so reinvigorated from being back in her old home again, that she found herself wondering: was she really just going to fall asleep next to Kara like this with all that unresolved tension between them? Or did the simple knowledge that she could let this night with Kara unfold at whatever pace she saw fit embolden her even more than she had been just a moment ago? Regardless of what exactly did it for Lena, she finally felt that boldness she had felt back at the social hall returning to her, and fast. 

Lena turned her body so that she was facing Kara, so close to one another that the warmth of their breathing intermingled between them.

“Kara?” Lena asked softly, her hands moving to get lost in Kara’s hair.

“Hmm?” she murmured in reply, eyes fluttering shut as she savored Lena’s touch. 

In lieu of words, Lena only pulled Kara into her, kissing her with soft persistence that held a million promises within it. 

“Oh thank  _ Gods _ ,” Kara groaned into Lena’s mouth, already moving to shift her weight on top of Lena...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I havent edited this chap at all btw)  
> Listen, sometimes repressed baby gays get cold feet just before doin the do, and sometimes fic writers get cold feet just before writing the smut so they post what they can because I HAVENT UPDATED IN 2 GODDAMN MONTHS. (ps freaking out and locking yourself in a bathroom bc ur not ready to do the do is totally not based on real life events...or anything...shut up okay)
> 
> Sorry for like, Not Existing anymore...love and miss yinz and i promise this story WILL BE FINISHED and SOON because like ONCE THEYRE DONE FUCKING (in the next chapter i seriously promise this time) the story resolution is gonna be on us REAL QUICK so just bear with me babes, okay? Okay. Love yinz <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just smut. That's it. No warm up. No extensive narrative. Just sin. So...proceed accordingly.

The crackling of the fire next to them filled Lena’s ears with a numbing pressure that seemed to drown out everything else around her, save for one thing. Lena focused on the sound, using it’s unpredictable pops and sizzles like anchors to remind herself that she was not dreaming, and that she would not wake up in a moment in a private room of the Cat Club, cold and embarrassed and frustrated. 

“Lena?” Kara murmured, teeth grazing against Lena’s collarbone.

_ God _ , Lena thought. 

“Yes?” she barely managed to reply. 

Kara’s hands were roaming south, one on the outside of Lena’s left thigh and the other placed next to Lena’s stomach on the bed, propping herself up. 

“I need you to think of some word or phrase to say if you need me to stop.” 

“Kara, I do not plan on telling you to stop ever.”

Kara’s body stiffened, lifting her head so that she was looking Lena straight on as she was straddled on top of her. 

“Lena,” she said in a serious tone. “You know of my considerable strength. Now I spent a lot of time learning how to suppress it, especially in situations like this, but you are well...flustering...and I need to know if I am at any point losing control.” 

“Kara, I trust you.” 

“ _ Lena _ .” 

Lena sighed.

“Fine,” she said. “Jane Austen.”

Kara blinked.

“What?”

“Jane Austen. That is what I will say if I need you to stop.”

“Wh...the author?”

“Yes.”

Kara broke into a small giggle that seemed to dissolved her momentary concern.

“Alright. Well then, now that we have that out of the way,” Kara said, and resumed her torturous series of kisses and small bites down Lena’s neck and across her collarbone. Lena groaned and the sudden continuation of contact. 

Lena felt the overwhelming need to  _ do _ something. She wanted to find some way to make their torturous progression towards bliss go faster and yet at the same time she wanted to stop time altogether at this exact moment. She settled on the decision to capture Kara’s lips with her own once again, and then she wrapped her legs around Kara’s back, pulling her in so that they were as close as possible. But it was not enough.

“Kara,” Lena whispered, “I want to see you.”

Kara stilled, and then she pulled away from Lena, sitting up, legs still straddling Lena’s hips. Her undergarment had been shifted from their entwinement, the sleeves of it hanging loosely off her shoulders. Lena sat up as well, freeing herself from beneath Kara’s body, and sat kneeling on the bed across from Kara, who watched her closely and calmly. With fingers that threatened to tremble, Lena gripped the bottom of the undergarment dress, pulling it tentatively up Kara’s thighs. Kara’s eyes continued to bore into Lena’s, her chest rising and falling more persistently than it had a moment ago. Lena took a deep breath in, hands still gripping the fabric tightly, and moved closer to Kara so that she could pull the garment up and over Kara’s head, letting it fall to the side. 

Lena exhaled slowly. The room was silent save for a pop and crackle from the fire as she simply...stared. Kara’s body was so strangely familiar to Lena in the way the ocean was to those who had seen it at a distance, had it described to them in books, but had never actually touched it. Kara was still sitting up, knees bent like in prayer, hands fidgeting slightly at her sides. Lena felt herself moving closer to Kara, drawn to her by some unseen magnetic force, eyes raking over her bare shoulders, her thighs, her stomach, her breasts. Lena placed her hands on Kara’s knees, and moved them slowly upwards, still memorizing every inch of Kara’s skin. Kara’s eyes fluttered shut as Lena’s hands roamed further up her thighs, to her hips, up her back, across her shoulders, tracing her collarbone, the curvature of her bosom, down to her stomach, and back to her thighs. As if lost in a trance, Lena felt herself beginning the path her hands had made again, until it seemed to be too much for Kara, and she pulled Lena into her for a rapid and desperate kiss. 

Lena obliged to the change of pace eagerly, letting herself be pulled into Kara’s lap as Kara’s hands moved to return Lena’s gesture, pulling her undergarment over her head just as quickly as Lena could move to accommodate her desires. There was a rush of a cool air against Lena’s skin as she was revealed to Kara, goosebumps raising on her skin, accompanied by a sudden pool of eagerness between Lena’s legs when their hips connected skin to skin, shocking Lena in a perfectly agonizing way. Kara groaned at the contact, pulling Lena closer to her still and leaving searing kisses on her mouth, jaw, neck, and chest, until her mouth was on Lena’s breast, causing her to gasp aloud and grip at Kara’s hair more tightly than she had intended.

“Oh, God, Kara, I am sorry, I…” 

“Shh shh shh,” Kara soothed with lazy kisses, “that was good.  _ Trust _ me.” 

Kara pressed Lena gently back against the bed, the two of them still connected at the hips until she lowered herself enough to hover over Lena’s stomach, tracing circles onto it with her index finger, only to repeat the traced pattern with a drag of her tongue. Lena felt like she might collapse into a hundred pieces beneath Kara’s touch. She had resisted Kara’s touch for so long, so so long, that the glee she felt at finally succumbing to her felt so intense she felt a headrush like from some perfect opium  high.

Kara’s left hand gripped Lena’s thing firmly as she continued her soft traces against Lena’s skin that were slowly headed south. Kara dipped her head down to nip at Lena’s hip bone and Lena yelped in glee. Kara’s head shot up, giving Lena a worried look.

“Good yelp, good yelp,” Lena said exasperatedly, and Kara continued with a smirk. 

After another minute or so of Kara torturing Lena in this way, Kara moved so that they were face to face once again, her hand moving languidly up and down the inside of Lena’s thigh. 

“Is this what you want?” Kara asked, and at the same time, Kara moved her hand between Lena’s legs, dragging her index finger through the folds of her center. It was only then that Lena realized how wet she had become under Kara’s touch, something she had not really been expecting. 

Lena only managed to make some sort of warbled moan in reply to Kara’s touch. 

“Lena?” Kara pressed on mercilessly, stroking her again. “Is this what you want?”

“Hmm-yes” Lena managed to reply. 

Kara stroked her finger through Lena’s folds twice more before finding the center of Lena’s arousal and began to caress at it in practiced motions. Lena moaned loudly, pressing herself against Kara as close as she could and kissing her desperately. Kara began to increase her speed slightly, each touch like a shock through Lena’s body. Lena had felt this build of tension within her before, but this time it was more intense than she had ever imagined that it could be. She could not get enough of it.

“Kara, more,” she whispered hotly against Kara’s mouth. 

“Yeah?” Kara replied breathlessly, and moved her the position of her hand so that she could massage at Lena’s center with her thumb while her palm settled against Lena as she pressed a finger against her entrance. “Like this?” she asked, and slid her finger inside, still making circles against Lena’s arousal with her thumb. 

Lena moaned in a way that would have embarrassed her any other time, her head falling back as she saw stars exploding in her mind’s eye

“ _ God _ ,” she groaned. 

Kara had a smug grin on her face, watching every twitch of Lena’s body with satisfaction as she continued to penetrate her, her pace growing and growing as Lena felt herself coming closer and closer to her peak.

Why had Lena not done this with Kara  _ sooner _ ?

“Lena?” Kara asked, slowing down. 

“What?” Lena struggled to grunt in reply as she wished for Kara to do the exact opposite of slow her movements down. 

Kara leaned in, her mouth against Lena’s.

“Say please,” she murmured. 

Lena gasped for breath.

“Please,” she moaned. 

Kara smiled against the side of Lena’s face, and she quickened her pace, thrust her finger deeper into Lena, the ecstacy within Lena quickly shooting forward, until…

“Kara!” Lena screamed out, instinctively biting Kara’s shoulder as she rode out her high. 

A series of expletives was streaming out of Lena’s mouth as she unraveled. Whoever Lena had been a moment ago would have apologized for them. But that girl had been washed away in a matter of seconds, replaced by some raw, uncensored woman who had always existed just beneath Lena’s skin. And it was her turn to call the shots.

Lena collapsed against the bed, panting heavily. Kara laid down next to her, her breathing slow and steady. It frustrated Lena that Kara was not as unhinged as Lena was. After taking a moment to collect herself, she pulled herself up on top of Kara, staring down at cosmically blue eyes that sparkled adoringly at her. 

“Well now we have the rest of the night for me to learn how to return the favor,” Lena said, and she captured Kara’s mouth with her own, causing Kara to squeal gleefully. 

Lena had a feeling that she would not even think about the world that existed outside of this house and the crackling fire in front of them until at least daybreak...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wildly brief chapter of half assed, hasty smut that should have been put at the end of the last chapter has been brought to you by: a tired bisexual farmer who SOMETIMES NEEDS TO SLEEP BETWEEN WRITING SESSIONS YOU HORNY LIL MONSTERS.   
> Jk i love you. But also I expect no grief for like two more months now XD  
> (nobody uses that archaic emoji anymore do they. im showing my age arent i...)  
> Anyway have fun. Love yinz.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter but just full of slowburn payoff...

Lena stirred as the sun rose just enough to filter into the living room window with enough brightness that it roused her in the middle of a pleasant dream. She shivered slightly, realizing first that the fire had burned out at some point in the night, and next that her abnormaly warm companion was no longer laying next to her. Lena’s heart sunk for a moment, wondering if somehow after all of this, Kara was back to her old ways: popping in and out of Lena’s life at her own convenience. However, she was happy to push that thought away from her mind when she heard the front door creak open gently. Lena sat up, wrapping the blanket around her chest, clothes having been long since forgotten. 

“Is it a Kryptonian trait to be so seemingly immune to the need for sleep?” Lena said through a long yawn. 

Kara shrugged, the morning light illuminating her golden hair as she closed the door behind her, juggling a few parcels she had on her person. 

“I always feel like if I sleep for too long that I am missing out on something,” she said casually, setting the parcels down on the kitchen table. “And anyhow, I wanted to bring you breakfast for when you finally chose to wake up.”

“Did...did you change?” Lena asked, noticing that Kara was wearing long men’s coat, a white button down shirt, and a slim fit pair of black pants. 

“While you made sure to express how well you liked me in that dress last night, Lena, I could not stand the idea of getting back into the wretched thing.” 

“Where did you get the outfit?” Lena asked, knowing full well Lex had been careful not to leave a single article of his expansive wardrobe behind.

“Next door to where I got breakfast?”

“Which was where?”

Kara smiled innocently. 

“New York City?” she replied, waving off Lena’s look of shock. “What? There’s a bakery uptown that makes the  _ best _ breakfast cakes, Lena, just wait until you try them.”

“Oh, I am sure they are divine,” Lena said with a laugh. “Fly up to the city often, do you?” 

Kara shrugged. 

“Just sometimes. On special occasions.” 

Lena smirked, rising from the bed to meet Kara in the kitchen. She noticed a tired ache in her thighs as she walked across the living room, but she did not mind it a bit, as it only reminded her of the ecstacy of the previous night that had caused it. 

“And what is the special occasion this time?” she asked, leaning slightly into Kara as she did so. 

Kara blushed, smiling timidly as her eyes looked down instead of meeting Lena’s gaze, taking a bit of the fabric of the blanket wrapped around Lena between her fingers. 

“More than one occasion, actually,” she said, “though I must admit that I lost count of just how many  _ occasions _ there were…” she said, biting her lower lip as she continued to tug idly at the fabric covering Lena’s body.

“Well,” Lena replied, “I do not think that last time counted, seeing as we were both half asleep from exhaustion.”

“Like I said, sleep only allows you to miss out on more important things.”

“Well I am not tired at the moment, are you?”

“But Lena,” Kara said as she traced over Lena’s collarbone with her index finger, “I’ve just brought breakfast.”

“I am not all that hungry at the moment, either.”

“No?” Kara asked, finally meeting Lena’s gaze with a devilish smile that was enough to stir a deep need within Lena.

“Well not for cakes, anyhow,” Lena replied.

Kara feigned shock.

“Why, Lena Luthor! What would your mother have to say about such a crass insinuation?”

“Do you really want to talk about my mother right now?”

Kara licked her lips, pupils slightly dilated. 

“Definitely not…” Kara whispered, and in one quick movement, she had pulled the blanket away from Lena’s frame, letting it pool at her feet. 

Lena shivered at the sudden chill on her bare skin, goosebumps spreading up her arms. Her hands found their way to the buckle of Kara’s pants, pushing the tuck of Kara’s shirt aside and already feeling the flush heat of her skin.

“Let’s warm this place back up, shall we?” Lena said as she pulled Kara by her buckle back towards the fireplace.

*

“Kara?” Lena asked, her voice a low hum between slow, languid strokes of her tongue against Kara’s folds. 

“Hmm?” Kara replied distractedly, hands buried in Lena’s hair. 

Lena had noticed that Kara made different noises depending on what Lena did to her. Different speeds, different applications of pressure, different patterns in the way she swirled her tongue: each one elicited a slightly different moan or string of expletives. Lena was determined to discover each combination, to hear every sound, feel every twitch of Kara’s muscles. 

“I could not help but notice something earlier,” Lena said, noting the way Kara raised her hips slightly when Lena got distracted from her pace, as she was now. She wanted to see how Kara reacted when Lena withheld the release. 

“What?” Kara asked, voice the slightest whimper of impatience. 

“The first time, you know, last night,” Lena said, breaking up her train of thought with a single stroke of her tongue that Kara pushed into desperately. “It was a little different than all the other times.” 

“A girl’s first time is always a bit unique Lena, what are you…” Lena swirled her tongue, “ _ ohhh _ ...what are you getting at?”

“I mean that  _ you _ were different,” Lena said, mouth hovering over Kara but giving her nothing. 

“Lena  _ please _ get to the point,” Kara groaned desperately. 

Lena lifted her head slightly so she could look more directly at Kara, replacing the movements of her mouth with relaxed strokes of her middle finger in and out of Kara, making Kara’s eyes flutter shut a moment from the pressure. It seemed to be enough to keep Kara from getting any more frustrated with Lena. At least for now. 

“I just feel like you were a bit more...improvisational every time after the first. And I cannot help but think…” Lena pondered, stopping her movements again.

“What?” Kara grunted, clearly wishing for Lena to grant her release. 

“I felt like you gave me a practiced routine the first time, that is all.”

“Do we really need to talk about this  _ now _ ?” Kara asked agitatedly. 

Lena pressed back inside of Kara, thinking that keeping her stuck between agitation and bliss might be more effective than simply starting and stopping. 

“I do not know, do we?” 

“Alright, fine,” Kara whined. “I was a little…” she sighed heavily, hips bucking against Lena’s hand, “Nervous the first time last night, all right? I could not help it! You were just  _ staring _ at me with those big adoring eyes and...no one has ever looked at me like that, Lena! I got overwhelmed! Besides, I know from experience that certain, I guess we will call them  _ routines _ , are practiced enough from former experiences that I know I will not accidentally cause injury should I get too excited.” 

“You think you could injure me?”

“It was a worry! Are you really that upset over it?” 

Lena smiled, lowering her head again so she could give a quick succession of flicks of her tongue against Kara’s center. Kara yelped, throwing her head back against the pillow.

“No, not at all,” Lena hummed into Kara, “I just wanted to see if I could get you to admit that your little boast about taking your time from back at the Cat Club was all talk.” 

Lena suddenly set a blistering pace with her tongue. 

“Lena Luthor I would be  _ vexed _ with you if you were not...oh...oh Rao…” Kara exclaimed, and a minute she was rendered temporarily unable to speak through her panting and squeals. 

Lena had to think she was getting quite good at this.

*

The cakes and coffee were cold by the time they re-entered the kitchen, which luckily was not a problem for someone like Kara. The fireplace roaring out a pleasant heat throughout the house once again, Lena and Kara sat at the table having their breakfast, comfortable in each other’s quiet company, a luxury until now they had barely ever been afforded.

“I like it here,” Kara said after her fourth or fifth cake, a calm ease in her shoulders where there was usually stiff tension. 

“Yeah? Would you like to stay here?” Lena asked. 

Kara chuckled. 

“I do not plan on going anywhere until you make me.”

“No. Kara,” Lena said, reaching across the table to take Kara’s hand in her own. “I mean. If you could stay here. With me. Permanently. Is that something you would want?”

Kara sighed, a bit of that tension in her shoulders reappearing.  

“Do not tease me so, Lena.” 

Lena shrugged. 

“Who said I am teasing? This is my family’s home, they certainly are not using it.” 

“I thought you said Lionel was going to sell it?”

“I know that is what I said. But think only on what I am saying to you now. Is this, all of this...is this what you want?” 

Kara sipped at her coffee to buy a moment to think. She looked around Lena’s childhood home, at the dormant farmland outside, at their shared bed by the fire.

“Very much so,” she said with a longing sigh. 

“Well then,” Lena said with a firm resolve, “I will do everything I can to make your wish a reality.” 

Kara swallowed, a sudden glistening in her eyes. 

“I love you, Lena,” she said softly, letting a tear roll down her cheek. 

Lena blinked. She knew there was a chance that she would fail. She knew that no matter how hard she tried that this might not work out how she hoped. And even if that would destroy Lena, she hoped that, maybe, if any part of Kara could be able to forget Lena, lest she failed, that at least Kara might be able to move on. 

Lena squeezed Kara’s hand. 

“Say that to me again when this is all over. Okay?” 

Kara seemed in some capacity to understand, and she nodded, keeping any other words she might have been holding in locked tightly behind her pursed lips. 

*

They stayed in the Luthor household for the rest of the day, mostly enjoying each other’s quiet company. That is, when Kara was not asking a half a million questions about Lena’s childhood. It seemed ridiculous that someone with “as soft of hands as yours”, as Kara put it, had grown up on a farm. Lena tried to explain to Kara that for the most part the hired hands did just about all of the work, but Kara still could not picture it.

They spent the night there as well, anything but quietly, though not much by way of conversation was had. Finally, before they both drifted off to sleep that night, Kara wrapped tightly around Lena, the two of them skin to skin, Lena felt a tightness in her chest, letting her know, regrettably, that their time alone together was just about up.

“We should head home in the morning,” Lena whispered to Kara who was barely awake, breathing steadily next to her.

“Is that a part of your plan that I cannot know?” she asked in a tired mumble.

“It is not a plan so much as an idea of how to fix our situation that I would prefer not to tell you until I know if I can actually pull it off.”

Kara shifted, pulling Lena closer, entangling their legs together.

“And your odds would not fare any better if you simply let me help you?”

“I am sure they would improve tremendously with your help. But for your sake, Kara, I have to keep you out of it.”

Kara pondered Lena’s response in silence for awhile. 

“You know,” she finally replied, “I think I understand now why people get so frustrated at me for keeping secrets all the time.” 

“It’s true. You are incredibly frustrating.” 

Kara chuckled, and shortly after they had both drifted off to sleep.

*

They prepared for the trip home the next morning in silence, both quitely mourning the end of the best day and a half of their lives. Lena did not know how she would be able to go back to her old life after this, regardless of how briefly she would be in it before she turned her whole world on its head in the name of the love she could not yet declare aloud. 

Rather fittingly, Kara had gotten Lena an outfit similar to her own to wear back home. Though it was not her first choice, she could certainly see why Kara and her sister chose to dress this way. It certainly made moving around  _ easier _ .

“You ready?” Lena asked as she made sure everything was put back in its proper place in the house.

“No,” Kara said honestly, pulling Lena in to her so she could hug her tightly from where she stood behind Lena, wrapping her arms around Lena’s stomach. 

“Shall I then simply say, ‘to be continued’, instead?”

Lena felt Kara nod in agreement against her shoulder, and in a moment, Kara was flying Lena home. 

*

They touched down softly around the side of the Luthor home back in Philadelphia. Kara fidgeted, preparing to say her goodbyes, when Lena clutched her hand tightly. 

“Oh, no, you are going in there with me,” Lena said, a devilish smirk on her face.

They went to the front door, and Lena threw the door knocker three times. As the door began to creak open, Kara went to pull her hand away from Lena’s to save appearances, but Lena would not let her, clutching her hand tighter than ever before, her heart pounding in her chest with such a ferocity that she thought it might burst out of her. 

Sam was the first to appear on the other side of the door. Her eyes went wide, looked between the two girls, then went wider still in a panic, mouthing the words “What are you doing?” to Lena just as Lillian appeared behind her.

“Lena!” Lillian shrieked, followed by a barrage of hysterical questions as she shoved Sam out of her way. “Where on earth have you been? What have you done?! What are you  _ wearing _ ? What are all those marks on your neck? What are you…” 

Lillian looked past Lena, saw Kara behind her, saw there hands entwined, and began to blink rapidly as if she were doing so involuntarily.

“Mother,” Lena said with a slow, careful tone, only so that she might conceal giggles that threatened to spill out due to the mixture of panic and triumph Lena felt. “I regret to inform you that I am utterly unfit for marriage.”

It seemed to partly dawn on Lillian as to what she meant, but she played the fool.

“Oh, Lena, not this drama again. I thought we had gotten you to finally appreciate your engagement. I…”

“Mother!” Lena interrupted. “You are not understanding me. I am  _ physically _ incapable of marrying Michael, or any man for that matter.” 

She noticed that Lex had appeared in the background of the main hall, leaning against the stairway and watching Lena’s return with only mild interest, chewing on a slice of buttered toast as he listened on to the unfolding drama. Meanwhile, Kara was so quiet behind Lena that if it hadn't been for her occasionally squeezing Lena’s hand tighter, she might have forgotten all together that she was even there.

“I do not understand what you are getting at, Lena,” Lillian replied carefully.

The old Lena might have given up at this point. But the new Lena found her adopted mother’s purposeful obliviousness to be laughable. 

“Oh, for God’s  _ sake _ , Lillian, I did not go missing! I disappeared because I  _ begged _ for Kara to take my virginity and I have spent the better part of the last couple days being good and thoroughly  _ fucked _ by her! Is that clear enough for you?”

Behind Lillian, Lex choked on his food, sending bits of toast spewing all over the floor. Lillian only was able to let her mouth fall open in horror.

“Well this is just the best weekend ever,” Kara whispered as she concealed a laugh behind her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Lena's commentary about Kara's sex routine a self reflection of my own inability to write candid smut? Oh hell yes. But I called it out so...GROWTH.  
> ANYWAY this was actually a really fun one to write i wish i had had more time to get into details of their weekend of domestic sexy fluff but I guess we can just call this a teaser for the eventual epilogue that I HINTED TO MAJORLY IN THIS CHAP. *HINT HINT*  
> As usual, I love you guys and your continued support and comments and all that. I would not be doing this if it werent for you.   
> See yinz soon, byeeee


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